Jokes of the Day 4-8-04Follow

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. “Hurry!” she said. “Stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.”
“What’s this, honey?” the husband inquired as he entered the room. “Oh, it’s just a statue,” she replied nonchalantly. “The Smith’s bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us, too.” No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep.

Around two o’ clock in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk. “Here,” he said to the ‘statue,’ “Eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths’ for three days, and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water.”

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A man and his wife were in the middle of rigorous divorce proceedings at a local court, in which custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that, since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, and the judge asked for his side of the story. After a tense moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied, “Judge, when I put a dollar into a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or to the machine?”

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A man and a woman who have never met before are assigned to the same sleeping cabin on a transcontinental train. After some initial awkwardness, they settle into their respective berths for the night.

In the middle of the night, the man leans over, wakes up the woman, and says, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly reach over and get me another blanket?”

The woman leans out and says with a grin, “I have a better idea. Just for tonight let’s pretend we’re married.”

“You mean…”

“Yep, get your own damn blanket!”

She is so ******* stupid that when she coppies and pastes it from her junk E-mail folder she dosen't even edit it.

Maybe Mrens just likes to see guys as girls...he just admitted lusting after you man. you should feel special, Mrens loves you.