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The cows are not what they seem...Follow

#1 Mar 29 2004 at 4:40 PM Rating: Excellent
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Alright, so I'm driving home from work today, when I remember I have to go pick up a package at the fedex depot in the middle of nowhere. So I head on over there. It's around 2:30 pm, traffic is light, and I'm making good time. Suddenly, I notice a field up ahead in the distance. In this field are a bunch of standard issue Texas pointy horn cow things. or so I thought. I was fairly far back, but I could see that they were all bunched together in groups, the brown ones together, the white and black spotted ones, the tan ones, etc. In the front was the biggest cow I have ever seen. It seemed to be gesturing animatedly at them in some strange bovine tounge. They quieted as I passed, the whole herd munching grass in unison, yet as I drove by, each and every head in that heard followed my car as I spead off into the distance. I picked up the package, then came back a few minutes later.

The cows were still there, only this time they were all mixed. eerily mixed. One tan cow, one spotted cow, one brown cow. exactly in that order, all the way back throughout the herd. The leader cow was now activly gesturing at my car with a free hoove. the cows started to move in my direction. About that time I decided it was not a good plan to stay there and showed those cows exactly what a fuel enriched V8 can do. I'm pretty sure I lost them. It's been a few hours now, with no cow sightings, yet still I wonder. Are they coming for me? are there ninja cows even now camped outside my appartment waiting for nightfall? what terror will the coming night bring?

the cows are truly not what they seem!
#2 Mar 29 2004 at 4:51 PM Rating: Good
Get out! Get out now - while you still can, man! They're all over... They're massing outside my place right now... coming in the door - no place to hide - no... NO! Augggghh!!!







Nothing to see - moove it along...
#3 Mar 29 2004 at 4:52 PM Rating: Decent
ok kaolian, hand over the drugs, i want some of those too.
#4 Mar 29 2004 at 4:58 PM Rating: Good
Liberal Conspiracy
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A friend of mine grew up on a farm in downstate Illinois. Well, "farm" is too strong a word for it. It consisted of a large patch of land, mostly grown into scrub forest over the years, some run down buildings and a house pre-dating the Civil War. His mother lived there, paying off her bills solely off the small oil deposits on the property.

At one time, they must have owned cattle. The cattle had broken free and his mother, either unable or unwilling to do anything about it, allowed them to go feral and more or less roam freely. They've since settled in the scrub forest and over the years grown into shaggy auroch like beasts who are less than friendly. My friend tells that he carries a rifle now when going down to that part of the property for whatever reason.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#5 Mar 29 2004 at 5:31 PM Rating: Decent
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But the question is....Got Milk?
#6 Mar 29 2004 at 5:42 PM Rating: Decent
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Do you have any idea how dangerous cud can be?

I assume your bags are packed and your flight is booked.

It's futile, really. Their network is inescapable, but you can try. The last known case of someone surviving once the eyes of the ninja cows were upon them was in 1958 in Nevada. Never was a sand storm more fortunately timed. Made the newsreels and everything.
#7 Mar 30 2004 at 3:44 AM Rating: Default
This one time, at band camp...

...No wait, wrong opening.
#8 Mar 30 2004 at 6:39 AM Rating: Excellent
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Kaolian's Fate

Oh, the humiliation, Kao!

Totem
#9 Mar 30 2004 at 6:47 AM Rating: Excellent
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ow.
#10 Mar 30 2004 at 6:59 AM Rating: Good
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What are you doing up so late, K?

Totem
#11 Mar 30 2004 at 7:06 AM Rating: Excellent
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At work, keeping the world safe from terrorists again. By the way, if anyone is planning on going to London or the philippines today, you may want to wait a few days. Seems the bad guys are trying to top the madrid bombs for effect...
#12 Mar 30 2004 at 7:53 AM Rating: Good
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Thats the funniest clip i've seen in yonks.

That bull had precision technique - kao however, well ...shakes her head.




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#13 Mar 30 2004 at 8:06 AM Rating: Decent
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Is that common knowledge, i.e. London is and will be a target for the forseeable future, or do you have secret squirrel intel?
#14 Mar 30 2004 at 8:06 AM Rating: Good
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kaolian wrote:
London or the philippines today, you may want to wait a few days.


Hmmmmm
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#15 Mar 30 2004 at 8:44 AM Rating: Excellent
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in case anyone was curious, half a ton of explosives grade ammonium nitrate, when mixed with a suitable quantity of fuel oil, will result in an explosive big enough to level pretty much any mid sized building. thats probably more than they used in the Madrid bombs. These terrorist buggers are sneaky. Mix it up, stick it in a pressure cooker, toss in a bunch of nails and nuts from bolts, slap on the lid and wire it up. Instant shrapnel bomb. Very bad. I really really hope they got the whole lot. Terrorists suck.
#16 Apr 02 2004 at 11:27 PM Rating: Good
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Quote:
Kaolian's Fate

Oh, the humiliation, Kao!


I like bulls, especially this one.
#17 Apr 03 2004 at 7:59 AM Rating: Good
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Now we know where those cows that Gary Larson talked about live...

*edit - fixed typo before Mrens has a stroke

Edited, Sat Apr 3 08:10:30 2004 by Nadenu
#18 Apr 03 2004 at 8:08 AM Rating: Decent
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I assume for the sake of you not sounding like a complete idiot that was a typo...anyway Gary Larson knows you paranoia.

Idiot
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