This is the post where I announce that...Follow

I've officially been appointed the 'Board Matriarch'. But I'm not going to just come out and annouce that I'm the Board Matriarch, oh no! I'm going to do this tactfully and diplomatically. I'm going to create the illusion that my new title was bestowed upon me by the board's residents, via the democratic process.

All of you will now vote on my proposal. The votes will be tallied in one day's time, and the results posted- unless, of course, the results displease me, in which case they will be fabricated.

Think of it as the 2000 Presidential Election, Redux.

And in the interest of saving time arguing with my detractors:

Yes, this is a pale imitation of Skeeter's title.
Yes, it's pointless.
Yes, I am seeking attention.
Yes, I know that you only care enough to mention that you don't care enough to bother saying as much- and believe me, I'm terribly flattered.

It should also be noted that technically I don't need to run a bogus election cuz I already have the Queen's go-ahead. Besides, everybody know I'd win. I always win. I'm only going through all of the trouble of staging a fake election because I'm a good fu[/i]cking sport, you fu[i]cking ********

Can I see a picture of you naked?

Btw, who the fu[i][/i]ck are you?

Do you know what a 'Jelly Doughnut' is? Cuz after you send me a naked pic, I want to give you one of those. That is assuming you are at least 18 years of age. If you are not 18 years of age, send the pics to Totem.

Totem, you're the only person on the fu[i][/i]cking planet that can make me reach for a dictionary. 'Bailiwick'? WTF?

I'd bet dollars to donuts if you tried using that word in a regular conversation you'd get kicked in the nuts.

I know it's not in keeping with the "M-A" but I kind of like the title -

Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler Thundra -

And Awaaaaaaaaaaay We Go ....

If you don't get it, you might check out some "classic" television.

Apparently, Zod lives on Planet Houston.

http://www.generalzod.net/

- Are you that uneducated that you did not know what Totem's area of expertise was? This is one of those words that are prevelent in the military culture.

Too bad you didn't say how many dollars to donuts.

Also, your election is null and void unless you get approval from the forum ******** election committee of which I have appointed myself OOT Forum Election Committee Administrator.

All applications must be filled out in triplicate, have signatures of 100 forum members and meet other undisclosed guidelines before you can appoint yourself or hold other bogus elections. - This edict may be superseded by Allahkazam only. Have a nice voting day.

Thundra, how does "Archbitch" strike you? It has a nice ring of authority, an aura of arbitrary pettiness, and a certain liturgical flair which calls to mind an austerely robed priestess incanting wildly colorful blasphemies down on the heads of those groveling underlings who have displeased her.

The title comes complete with that pointy hat you covet and a vaguely genital-like shaped ring for your minions to kiss.

I'd vote for that.

Totem

Veronica makes me hot.

Archbitch sounds pretty appealing, but I'm also partial to the Mein Kampf and Matriarch suggestions.

Archbitch is probably the most fitting considering my board persona, but Matriarch has a certain intellectual pizzazz about it. Then again, by my estimation, Mein Kampf has the greatest likelihood of offending, plus it melds with my ongoing 'Fu[i][/i]cking up *****' theme. Although, I'm not exactly sure how to alter Mein Kampf in such a way as to make it into a person or position. 'Mein Kampfer' lacks grace and poetry.

I'm a ***** to public opinion, maybe I should let the board decide. It's important to make the minions feel needed.

Overlord "Mein Kampf" Thundra.

Overlord Thundra.

The Fu[/b]cking Matriarch, bi[b]tch!

Hmmm, tough one.

Totem, I'd prefer that whatever title we eventually agree upon need not be explained to the uneducated dullards on this board with the assistance of finger-painted visual aids and Barney theme music.

Forum Master-baiter.

I think that fits you quite well.