Jokes of the Day 3-22-04Follow

Family Ties
Q: Why are Arkansas boys so confused?

A: Because every night their uncles keep asking, “Who’s your daddy?”

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Two Cajun fishermen, Brock and Charley, take off fishing in the Gulf of Mexico for a couple of months.

Upon their return, they notice a Taco Bell has been built near the dock.

Brock turns to Charley and says, “Well, look at that! Them Mexicans already done come over here and built a telephone company.”

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Overseas Tease

A newlywed sailor is informed by the navy that he’s going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the South Pacific for 2 years. A few weeks after he gets there he really starts to miss his new wife, so he writes her a letter.

"My darling," he writes, "it looks like we’re going to be apart for a very long time. Already I’m starting to miss you and we’re constantly surrounded by young, attractive native girls. The temptation’s terrible. I need some kind of hobby to keep my mind off them."

His wife sends him back a harmonica with a note reading, "Why don’t you learn to play this?"

Eventually his tour of duty comes to an end and he rushes back to his wife. "Darling" he says, "I can’t wait to get you into bed so that we can make passionate love!"

But she stops him with a wave of her hand. "First, let’s see how well you play that harmonica."

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A man is standing at the register of a hardware store while a clerk rings up his items.

“Excuse me, sir,” says a woman in line behind the man. “But I couldn’t help but notice back in the plumbing supplies aisle that you were calling your wife Crisco. Is that really her name?”

“Oh, no,” says the man. “That’s just a pet name I use for her in public.”

“What do you call her at home?” asks the woman.

“Lard ***.”