I'm not cut out for customer supportFollow

I got this e-mail today:

Jesse Heard wrote:

To whom it may concern,

You have billed my credit card for another subscription of to Premium Service after I have EXPRESSLY asked you not to, via terms on your site. Please correct this matter IMMEDIATELY. I expect notification of correction from you as soon as possible or I assure you, you will hear from my attorney re: malfeasant billing practices. My user name was Vilyadhos and after the password fiasco, I have no idea what my real password wound up being. Several weeks ago, I quit having access to premium member priveleges so I have no way to check that now. Once again, FIX THIS situation, I have found your site to be less than useful and this shoddy billing on your part just confirms that I have no need of your services at all.

Now I know I should just ignore the tone and just give the guy his money back, but I hate ******** like this. My response:

Ordinarily when someone writes requesting a reversal of a renewal, I simply cancel the account and refund the money no questions asked. People make mistakes in trying to change their settings, or just forget to cancel it, and we don't want to charge anyone if they don't want access. However, since you seem bent on threatening and insulting us rather than just asking nicely and admitting you either forgot to change or messed up changing your account settings, I think I'll let you do it the hard way. By all means contact your attorney and file all the necessary papers to challenge the charge. In 6 months to a year, you will likely get your $9.99 back. I doubt you are capable of learning anything from this, but while you are going through the hassle of filling out and notorizing all the necessary papers, think about the difference between acting civil and acting like an ***.

Jeffrey G. Moyer, esq.

/sigh. I'm definitely not cut out for customer support.

Oh, man! You don't know HOW many times I feel like doing something like this. I work for a governmental agency, which means I am a "civil servant" or a "public servant." Diplomacy and tact are some of my strong points, but every-so-often I am SO tempted...

Edited, Thu Mar 18 15:31:16 2004 by czaemon

Edited, Thu Mar 18 15:33:04 2004 by czaemon

Edited, Thu Mar 18 15:33:56 2004 by czaemon

I'm not cut out for CS either, though I seem to be good at it and turned it into a career.

When faced with rants like this, my usual MO is to respond with an ambiguously-worded generic-sounding "form" response while snickering at the chump's incompetence.

Speaking of which, I'm sick of my current job and would be willing to take a position telling all the disgruntled site subscribers to **** off.

edit: !@#$%^&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

Edited, Fri Mar 19 13:53:43 2004 by Kaolian

It's nice that he uses big words. Otherwise, I'd seriously have to doubt his intelligence as he NEVER BOTHERED TO CONTACT HIS CREDIT CARD COMPANY before threatening to sue. Of course, now that he has, he may have voided the simplest way of having the charge reversed. Oops. Make that two since he pissed off the billing agent.

You get to say things I only dreamed of, Alla.

Kudos.

My customer service request would be simple, I want to be able to add a $5.00 your stupid charge to their bills.

My favorite new Customer Service Rumor though is with Cox Communications, they have basically a monopoly here in Phoenix on cable. The way I hear it they have a 3 strikes and your out policy, Three 2nd level complaints (past the first representative) and they politely suggest that you should try out Sattelite TV as you no longer have service from them.

God, I wish it worked that way where I work <sigh> back to arguing with Indians.