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The roof.. the roof.. the roof is on fire!Follow

#1 Feb 04 2004 at 8:20 PM Rating: Good
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Well, thankfully the roof is not on fire. But my microwave is. Or was. Sitting here quietly reading something or another when Jophiel Jr. came out of his room and said "What's all that smoke?!" Wondering "what the **** is he on about?", I walked into the kitchen to see a giant cloud of foul smelling smoke coming out of the microwave and the obvious smell of stuff actively burning. I hit it with the fire extingusher and opened windows, doors, etc. It's all settled now; I pulled the front vent off the microwave and peered inside and I guess the motor burnt out and caught fire or something. Given that I never checked the smoke detectors when I moved in here, had Young Jophiel not walked into the kitchen when he did, it could have been considerably worse. The microwave is (was) one of those "inset into the cabinets" type and it would have sucked to have the wood catch fire.

So check your smoke detectors and make sure you keep a fire extingusher in the kitchen. Ya never know.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#2 Feb 04 2004 at 8:23 PM Rating: Good
YAY! Canaduhian
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Smiley: laugh Man, that's something I'm terrible for, starting fires. I get sidetracked so easily when I'm cooking that, more often than not, I end up with a blazing inferno in the kitchen.

___ = Tare's attention span.

Now, the real question is: what type of Hungry Man meal were you cooking in there, Jophiel?

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#3 Feb 04 2004 at 8:25 PM Rating: Default
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That woulda sucked had your son not caught it!

I'd do something extra special for the lil one for saving you
some serious grief, even your life.

I had the exact opposite happen to me when I moved into my new apt.
The alarms were over sensitive. I couldn't toast bread without them going off. So I uninstalled them.

I think I'll put them back up, good lookin' Joph.


edit: spelling :(

Edited, Wed Feb 4 20:26:21 2004 by TheSentientOne
#4 Feb 04 2004 at 8:27 PM Rating: Good
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Some pork 'n potatoes thing for the little one. I just shoveled the driveway and wasn't up for cooking a "real" meal so I figured he could eat that and I'd heat up some soup or something tonight.

I hate my driveway. It's 155' long (I measured it off the plat of survey.. heh) and two cars wide. Next year I'm buying a snowblower if I have to sell my left ******** to do so. The right one is already earmarked towards a new microwave.

I've heard stories of man cooking with a thing called "fire". Anyone know how that works?
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#5 Feb 04 2004 at 8:32 PM Rating: Good
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<insert visual of Jophiel's pained face>

But look at the beeeaauutiful microwave, and is that a new snowblower? Haha ahahhaaaa! I am getting my house built right now, so next winter will bring with it all the joys of shovelling. Sounds like a hoot, Jophiel. I'll tell my b/f about the ******** trade-in program.



Edited, Wed Feb 4 20:32:49 2004 by Tare
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What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
#6 Feb 04 2004 at 9:44 PM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
I'm buying a snowblower if I have to sell my left ******** to do so.

Ouch. Maybe a finger or something, but a ********?!? Think of the unborn children!!
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#7 Feb 05 2004 at 3:40 AM Rating: Good
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Some hospitals offer up to $50k for donating a ********. Takes "I'd give my left nut for..." to a whole new level.

Praetorian
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#8 Feb 05 2004 at 4:39 AM Rating: Excellent
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50k? what the **** would they do with it? It's not like you could glue it back on.

Congrats on not being vaporized!
#9 Feb 05 2004 at 5:54 AM Rating: Decent
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What about if the ******** has previously had cigarettes previously stubbed out on them? Does that add or detract value?
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#10 Feb 05 2004 at 9:46 AM Rating: Decent
A Pat who seems to have just woken up wrote:
What about if the ******** has previously had cigarettes previously stubbed out on them? Does that add or detract value?



What if the ******** has previously had cigarettes previously antecedently formerly heretofore precedently stubbed out on them?

Smiley: laugh

How you doing this lovely morning, Pat?
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Muted
#11 Feb 06 2004 at 8:48 AM Rating: Decent
LOL, this topic bring back a memory from two years ago..

I was out wandering around the plant one day and smelled smoke. I grabbed the nearest supervisor and had him get on the radio. It came back that the roof was on fire (no BS). I duck outside and can se the thick clouds of black smoke. So being the good employee, I go up stairs and inform my management that the roof was on fire. Now you would think that there might be a little gratitude for this action.... NOPE. I get my azz chewed by 4 managers for speading rummors. While I'm standing there thinking how I would soooooo like to Ice Comet these fools, I look out the window behind them and there are like 14 fire trucks out side. I just pointed out the window and was like "Well WTF is that then!" I never did get an appology.
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#12 Feb 06 2004 at 9:29 AM Rating: Good
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My hair dryer blew out this morning. I think my house has a poltergeist Smiley: eek
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#13 Feb 06 2004 at 9:44 AM Rating: Decent
Nah, hair dryers only come with a limited amount of charges. Bet you used them all up =P
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#14 Feb 06 2004 at 11:07 AM Rating: Good
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Wait a minizzle! You're a dude and you use a... hairdryer??

/raises his hand and opens his mouth to says something, but snaps it shut and walks away before he stirs up any more trouble

Totem
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#15 Feb 06 2004 at 11:08 AM Rating: Good
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I guess when you're old and bald like me you just don't worry worry about such amenities.

Totem
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"Totem is the personification of whiskey soaked evil" --Annabelle

"You're special, pumpkin, but not speshuler than the 'Bama Black Snake" --AtomicFlea
#16 Feb 06 2004 at 11:10 AM Rating: Good
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Double post. Bleh.

Totem

Edited, Fri Feb 6 11:11:18 2004 by Totem
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Obama

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Winner of the 2008 Allakhazam March Madness tourny

"Totem is the personification of whiskey soaked evil" --Annabelle

"You're special, pumpkin, but not speshuler than the 'Bama Black Snake" --AtomicFlea
#17 Feb 06 2004 at 11:10 AM Rating: Good
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Oh. And congratulations on 7,000, you blowdryer using guy, you. Your real life name wouldn't happen to be Serge and you wouldn't happen to own a hair salon, hmmm?

;)

Totem
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Born-on date: 2076

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Obama

Winner of Last(tm) VIII!

Winner of the 2008 Allakhazam March Madness tourny

"Totem is the personification of whiskey soaked evil" --Annabelle

"You're special, pumpkin, but not speshuler than the 'Bama Black Snake" --AtomicFlea
#18 Feb 06 2004 at 11:11 AM Rating: Decent
How's that turtle wax I sent ya workin' out Totem?

Mr. Clean!
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Muted
#19 Feb 06 2004 at 11:24 AM Rating: Good
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Of course I own a hairdryer you Philistine. Just because you have the grooming skills of an organutang doesn't mean everyone does.

Besides, it's **** cold outside and I'd prefer my hair not to freeze into some ice helmet.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#20 Feb 06 2004 at 2:13 PM Rating: Decent
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One of my roommates is a volunteer firefighter and he cares the least about smoke detectors and such around the house. Granted, with the amount of smoking that goes on, smoke detectors would constantly be going off, but someone else had the forethought to get a small fire extinguisher. Which sat under the sink for six months before it was bolted to a wall.

In one of my first apartments, there was a malfunctioning smoke alarm right outside my bedroom. It would go off at random for two minutes, stopfor two minutes, go off again, stop, start, then stop for good. Until 3am the next morning. I took care of that thing like Tom Cruise a la Rain Man.
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