Ok, friends, family, and arch nemesis alike:
I need some sound advice. Suicide? Homicide? Alcoholism? Disappearing without a trace?
Merri is out of town for the weekend, and as usual, when left alone I get really ******* depressed and realize how much I hate my life. To be more specific: my dead end minimum wage job which is destroying me physcially and mentally, the town and state I live in which is killing me slowly with boredom, and everyone I know in RL.
Things that are not options:
Moving. We can't right now. *I* could, but that would involve me packing up my car and the dog, and skipping town. Not so cool for Merri when she gets home, ya know?
Quitting my job. I'm looking for a new job, but as you all know jobs are scarce.
Meeting new people. In this town? Unless I go to church 3 times a week I'm an outcast. And I certainly couldn't handle that *********
Wow, guess I summed it all up. I'm ******* Thanks for listening, it didn't help at all.
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Angua wrote:
To be more specific: my dead end minimum wage job which is destroying me physcially and mentally, the town and state I live in which is killing me slowly with boredom, and everyone I know in RL.
Well Angua, since we are laying it all out there, I guess I should tell you that I feel the same way. My job is great, I have a lot of freedom but I have no control. I slack off all day and feel like I'm wasting my life here. It's pretty damn depressing to do 6 years of University only to find that you hate what you are doing. I live in a cold, sh*tty city. There's very little to do here and I absolutely hate recognizing that I am just "making do" with the interests I have. I can't post grievances about my RL relationship here, because there are eyes everywhere but let's just say that, of late, other things are more important than me.
What have I done? Said f*uck it, that's what. I'm writing a book. I'm seeing my friends more often. I'm meeting new people. I'm doing whatever it takes to soften the blow. I'm starting to honestly believe that there's nothing left to look forward to, especially now that I'm 30.
Pass the gin, baby.
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
/passes the Gin
I restarted EQ thinking it would help but for some reason it makes things worse. I think it's the huge amount of time that just disappears when you play games.
I think Sunday night I will get drunk off my ***. Maybe that will help, or I'll make some sort of decision. Or at the very least, I'll throw up for hours and realize I could feel worse than I do right now.
I wish I could just go home. No one should be so far from their home for so long, it makes you sick in your heart.
I restarted EQ thinking it would help but for some reason it makes things worse. I think it's the huge amount of time that just disappears when you play games.
I think Sunday night I will get drunk off my ***. Maybe that will help, or I'll make some sort of decision. Or at the very least, I'll throw up for hours and realize I could feel worse than I do right now.
I wish I could just go home. No one should be so far from their home for so long, it makes you sick in your heart.
Where's home, Angua? Why are you so far away?
/takes a swig
I long for the old days, when I knew where things were going. Now, it seems like I have no control over things. I know what you mean on the time suckage. My whole life is some sort of black hole right now.
Where's Merri this weekend?
/takes a swig
I long for the old days, when I knew where things were going. Now, it seems like I have no control over things. I know what you mean on the time suckage. My whole life is some sort of black hole right now.
Where's Merri this weekend?
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Home is San Diego. My family (what's left of it) lives in that area. The "why" of me not being there is a long, ugly story which I'll spare you.
Merri is out of town working. She runs sound for her father's band and they have a show tonight and tomorrow night.
Well, I'm going to go curl up under the covers with my dog and wait for my alarm to go off so I can have another joyous work day at the hellhole, err, grocery store.
Keep the bottle. =)
Edited, Fri Jan 30 23:50:42 2004 by Angua
Merri is out of town working. She runs sound for her father's band and they have a show tonight and tomorrow night.
Well, I'm going to go curl up under the covers with my dog and wait for my alarm to go off so I can have another joyous work day at the hellhole, err, grocery store.
Keep the bottle. =)
Edited, Fri Jan 30 23:50:42 2004 by Angua
Quote:
Meeting new people. In this town? Unless I go to church 3 times a week I'm an outcast. And I certainly couldn't handle that bullsh*t.
My advice? Stop going to church completely. Use the time that everyone else is in church to prowl around and find all the other people that aren't in church. Make friends with all these other outcasts. I guarantee you they will be 1) A hell of a lot more fun than the church people. 2) Far less judgemental than the church people. 3) More charitable than the church people.
Join the army.
Praetorian
Praetorian
Well, I for one would be very sad if you committed suicide or dissappeared without a trace. 
Have you and Merrikat thought about setting up a web page design buisiness on the saide? between her drawing ability and both of your computer skills, I'm guessing you could make a decent go of it, especially if it is a podunk town with no computer talent. Or there's always cow tipping! Death to the cows (long story)!!!!
Anything I can do to help?
Have you and Merrikat thought about setting up a web page design buisiness on the saide? between her drawing ability and both of your computer skills, I'm guessing you could make a decent go of it, especially if it is a podunk town with no computer talent. Or there's always cow tipping! Death to the cows (long story)!!!!
Anything I can do to help?
Quote:
I need some sound advice. Suicide? Homicide? Alcoholism? Disappearing without a trace?
None of the above
Quote:
*I* could, but that would involve me packing up my car and the dog, and skipping town. Not so cool for Merri when she gets home, ya know?
Think about that you know, you care enough about someone not to be able to just walk away, that gives you one hundred times more that alot of people have and a reason and a half to look forward to Merri getting back.
Ohh, I dunno - hang on in there, have a day with the duvet and kick some *** at the store tomorrow.
And think about what Kao said.
9. ..... You may not buy, sell or auction (or host or facilitate the ability to allow others to buy, sell or auction)any Game characters, items, coin or copyrighted material.
Well,you got us here for you< hmmm> but then again we seem to be in the same boat as you /wink.It will get better when Merri gets home but in the meantime you got this "freaky family" here for you
"You live to work, and you work to live."
I hate my life.
I hate my life.
Thanks, folks, for your support. I'm in a somewhat better frame of mind today. Work was busy as hell and I enjoy being busy. Course, I found out the store might be going under, which means my job is in jeporady. I don't care so much right now though as I've decided a night of drinking is in order.
Kao - I did try the web site design thing once. The main problem I had was marketing. I suck at it. These days there is just too much I don't know (Flash, Java, etc). I considered just doing tech support for people, but I'm not sure I'd be so good at that either. Honestly, I hate computers. lol I need a job that requires attention to detail and is in some way helping people. That would rock.
Deathwysh - I don't go to church at all. Never have, never will. It's just not my thang. If I tried to go into one I'd probably be struck by lightning.
Kao - I did try the web site design thing once. The main problem I had was marketing. I suck at it. These days there is just too much I don't know (Flash, Java, etc). I considered just doing tech support for people, but I'm not sure I'd be so good at that either. Honestly, I hate computers. lol I need a job that requires attention to detail and is in some way helping people. That would rock.
Deathwysh - I don't go to church at all. Never have, never will. It's just not my thang. If I tried to go into one I'd probably be struck by lightning.
Go back to school!!
A job that requires detail and helps people?? Nursing.. we are in a national shortage of nurses right now. JUMP on it. Or.. there is a national shortage of pharmacist, dentist too. You probally qualify for school loans, and or free money. Go check it out.
A job that requires detail and helps people?? Nursing.. we are in a national shortage of nurses right now. JUMP on it. Or.. there is a national shortage of pharmacist, dentist too. You probally qualify for school loans, and or free money. Go check it out.
Angua wrote:
Honestly, I hate computers. lol I need a job that requires attention to detail and is in some way helping people. That would rock.
Ok, Attention to details, Helps people, No computers, and I'm guessing non produce-related, and available in a smallish podunk town.
Hmmm, that is a tough one. Let me think about that. Dunno if anyhting will come of it, but maybe it will help?
Thanks, Kao. Really doesn't need to apply to this town, because as soon as Merri gets out of school (another 2 years probably) we are out of here.
Katie - I will be going back to school. All we have here is a technical college, but they have nursing and the like. I need to go get their catalog and see what exactly they offer.
I'm going to go job hunting tomorrow, if I can get out of bed after this hellish weekend at work. Speaking of which, I'm going to be late if I don't skeedaddle.
Katie - I will be going back to school. All we have here is a technical college, but they have nursing and the like. I need to go get their catalog and see what exactly they offer.
I'm going to go job hunting tomorrow, if I can get out of bed after this hellish weekend at work. Speaking of which, I'm going to be late if I don't skeedaddle.
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