How many bogus story emails do you receive a day?Follow

Unless you count "Taking sugar pills is guarnteed to enlarge your *****" almost none.

The internet is my friend
I shall not forward
It maketh me to search out the truth
It annointeth my brain with activity

Yay though I walk thru the valley of ignorance
I shall fear no BS

My "block sender" and my delete comforteth me!

(Banal attempt at humor ... no I always check out the latest attempts at scaring the masses on various hoax, etc sites before I forward anything ... usually the only thing i forward lately are coupons for sales since my in box is cluttered once again with 50+ crap e-mails per day ... time to sit down with my trusty block sender and have a pow wow)

If it says forward in the subject line it goes in the trash. Some of my family members think sending lame jokes and inspiring stories about God are a way to keep in touch. **** that. I'd rather get an email from them saying "Hi, I'm too busy to talk to you." Than that crap.

I've spent the last three months getting emails warning me that the site with the exclusive Paris Hilton video will be shut down by her lawyers within a week. Makes me wonder if I'm in some sort of temporal flux.

And you people with your sugar pills are idiots. I use an all herbal pill to enlarge my member. It's 100% natural so it has to be 100% safe!

I think they might have the opposite effect...I'm no expert though. Why don't you want larger breats? Nothing a good set of breats.

Oh, geez. I'm not supposed to talk about that stuff. Dammit Tare!

Edited, Fri Jan 30 13:34:11 2004 by Tare

Ok this is long but, someone sent a similar one, and I rewrote parts of it. Make sure this goes back to all the people who send me crap, each and every time.

Subject: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: 12 step program for "forwarders"

THE "FORWARDER'S" 12 STEP PROGRAM - EVERYONE SAY IT WITH ME ...

1) I will NOT get bad luck or lose my friends if I do not forward an email!

2) I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I DO forward an e-mail.

3) Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria Secret doesn't know anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me.

4) Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people!

5) I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people.

6) I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail ...NEVER!! (Which is really good, or you could get a really nasty surprise-WITHOUT warning)

7) There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and NO one will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people.

8) There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and does not want any more cards.

9) The government does not have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every e-mail we send. (I bet they will try one day!)

10) There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail. (Again, a very good thing.)

11) The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations.

12) If I want to forward something (because I think it is amusing or touching), FIRST I will delete the notes about how many people to forward it to, leaving off guilt trips, ill luck, and astonishing rewards for forwarding. I will look stories up at http://www.snopes.com/ to verify accuracy.

Now, send this along to AT LEAST 777 of your closest friends BEFORE the next full moon or you will surely be constipated for the next three months and ALL of your hair will fall out!

ROFL