relationship opinions neededFollow

so im currently infatuated with this girl who happens to be a bartender..

i hang out with her for most of her shift the 2 days a week she works. were evry friendly always end the night with a hug and a kiss. we play pool together alot when the bar is slow ( which is 99% of the time)

she has a boyfriend but he doesnt pay much attention to her (gave her a freakin' goldfish for xmas) and she doesnt much care for him i think she keeps him around just for the fact of having a boyfriend. 2 weeks or so ago after learning that he was such a loser i asked her:
"i know you have a boyfriend but i know he doesnt treat you right, let me take you out and treat you the way your supposed to be treated"
she responded " i dont know what im going to do, dont take it as a dis though"

since then ive proceeded as ussual with the flirting and the extra attention. giving her a single red rose about 2 saturdays ago ( with plains to give her 2 tommorow) last saturday it was an exceptionally cold day her in NY and the bar's heat wasnt working so it was very cold in the bar. for a while i was holding her in my arms to share body heat. at some point she sat down somewhere behind the bar and ended up sitting in a nice sized puddle of cold water soaking her jeans and underwear. so we went in the kitchen to dry her pants off by standing in front of teh broiler. she asked me to rub her back so i of course obliged, at one point i asked her "is your butt dry yet?" and without thinking reached down and palmed her *** to check. she didnt protest ro say anything at all. eventually we turned the oven off and went back to the bar. the rest of the night proceeded with just random whining about the cold.

then i went back on monday night to hang out with her again and things just proceeded as normal

my question to the board is do yout hink i have a chance with her, if so how would u proceed? or do you think shes just stringing me along for the company and the tips.

Gotta agree with Skeet here. You're giving her everything she wants already, why should she make any major changes in her life (leave her boyfriend)? I'd say cool it a bit. Still be friendly but not so attentive. Notice other girls and pay attention to them (not her co-workers though).

Maybe she'll realize how special you are if she thinks she is losing you. /shrug Also, I hate to say it ... but many, many women won't go for a guy that is "too nice". Sad but true. Doesn't mean you have to be a jerk, just don't be so overwhelmingly sweet to her. Wait to do that when you have her as a girlfriend. =)

no **** thats why i mentioned she a bartender.. and trust i know teh differance between feigned attentiona and genuine...

Hey Murth, are you Italian??

"Hey everybody-a, my name is Murth-a, I like-a da ladies-a"

Queen-a Skeet-a

Unless you’re getting free drinks out of the deal I’d go to a different bar. One that has heat preferably.

You’re better off chasing the 2:00am drunk “Hotties” than a bar tender.

Remember she’s there to MAKE MONEY… no to socialize.

/shrug

That’s just how I see it and what I’d do.

Oh hell.

I've agreed with Skeet twice in a row. I'm damn near tempted to enter a belated vote for his Queen-ship.

He's absolutely right.

Besides, do you want someone who's in a relationship and allowing the kind of attention (and *** palming) you're giving her from other guys ?

When you're a third party, you always have to consider all angles.

"I don't know what to do. I'm confused."

If things get bad enough she'll leave, independent of the fact that there's some guy at the bar that brings her roses. Only then might it work.

Relationship? I assumed he just wanted to **** her a couple of times. That's what happens when you put yourself in someone else's place I guess.

Know what, same thing happened to a close friend of mine (only the girl wasn't a bartender). Basically, she isn't going to change the way she acts with you if you giving her all the goods for free.

Put your foot down. If she stays with the guy who doesn't treat her right, then she probably wasn't the right kind of girl anyways. But if she truly cares for you and likes you more than the guy who doesn't please her, your golden. Take some risks, cause otherwise you'll go through life sheltered and sad.

Plus, if you do get burned, your at a bar, so you wont have to drive anywhere to forget your troubles -=)

I had assumed by the rose that he was looking for more than just sex. That and the title of the thread was "Relationships Opinions Needed."

Clearly my mistake.

Oh, come now. I was just trying to solidify my newfound opinion that not all men are pigs.

Don't tell me I'm wrong ?

Men who aren't pigs are the ones who don't have the opportunity to nail hot chicks regularly. It's a lot easier to be a nice thoughtfull guy if your chances of getting laid by the random hot easy girl are low.

What the hell would there be to progress to?

:-)

Touche.

Point, Smash.