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Where do Babies Come From?Follow

#1 Jan 15 2004 at 8:56 PM Rating: Excellent
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When I was a child I thought they came from a needle, that the doctor gave you. Just a quick prick and your in "trouble"...

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#2 Jan 15 2004 at 9:57 PM Rating: Good
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Hehe... It's not about the size of the needle though...
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#3 Jan 15 2004 at 10:02 PM Rating: Excellent
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I got it explained to me when I was nine by my best friend, a 12-year old who told me to get my Dad's Playboy. She then explained (using this visual) that to have a baby, you get naked with a boy, get under the covers, and out comes the baby. I remember thinking it was disgusting and I would never do it.
#4 Jan 15 2004 at 10:07 PM Rating: Decent
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Thanks to California's sex ed classes I never had any delusions about sex.

A women gets pregnant when a man urinates on her *Nods*
#5 Jan 15 2004 at 10:28 PM Rating: Good
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I learned from the magic of a Nova special on PBS. I remember sitting in the basement with the sound turned down because I thought I'd get in trouble for watching such pornographic material.

I always figured that when I had kids, I'd be straight with them and answer all their questions in a mature fashion and all that. Then one day I was talking to my son about his cousin who had been recently born. He said "The baby was in Auntie Carey's tummy! But, Daddy, how did the baby get in Auntie Carey?"

"Umm.. well, you see.. uhh.. Look! A chair!"

Yeah, it's not as easy as it seems Smiley: smile
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#6 Jan 15 2004 at 11:09 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
But, Daddy, how did the baby get in Auntie Carey?" "Umm.. well, you see.. uhh.. Look! A chair!"
Yeah, it's not as easy as it seems Smiley: smile



Aww...that's cute. I think I remember seeing those Nova programs too. LOL.

I remember going to "sex ed" films in Grade 6. There was one about a girl getting her period and the whole family was celebrating and rejoicing this occasion. I was never more afraid and secretive than after that freak show.

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#7 Jan 16 2004 at 6:46 AM Rating: Excellent
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When I was 6 I asked my parents that same question, not being old enough to really even know what a taboo topic was. They explained it to me, then helped me check out a book on human reproduction from the library which I read, and then moved onto the next subject. I think it was dinosaurs, or maybe electricity. the electricity years were bad. Never let a young child disasimble a large camera flash. High tension capacitors are bad...

According to my parents, I had the shortest "why?" phase in the history of childhood. Mostly because if I had any questions about anything, I'd just grab a book and read about it. According to the silly standardized tests that don't really mean anything, I had a college reading level at second grade, the first point at which they test that in Vancouver. The bastards even made me retake the test because they thought I was cheating somehow. grrr.

Edited, Sun Jan 25 14:50:59 2004 by Kaolian
#8 Jan 16 2004 at 7:26 AM Rating: Good
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Mrens wrote:
Thanks to California's sex ed classes I never had any delusions about sex.

A women gets pregnant when a man urinates on her *Nods*


I'm not from Cali, but I learned it the same way here.

You can imagine my surprise a few years later...
#9 Jan 16 2004 at 9:54 AM Rating: Good
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When I was 6 I asked my parents that same question, not being old enough to really even know what a taboo topic was. They explained it to me, then helped me check out a book on human reproduction from the library which I read
Alas, Young Jophiel was a mere three at the time; less able to comprehend the subject and probably more illiterate Smiley: wink

I think I was about six or seven when I saw the afore mentioned Nova program. More interesting to me than the idea of female body parts or intercourse were the mighty and fearsome two-headed sperm cells.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#10 Jan 16 2004 at 11:40 AM Rating: Excellent
If it wasn't for sluttish California girls I still wouldn't know.

First time I heard "69", it was from some blonde **** I knew in school, during 7th grade. I had to pretend I knew what it was long enough to get the general idea of it from her and another guy discussing it.

I can't pinpoint an exact moment I found out how babies were made.

My parents were divorced when I was born, and sadly, I had several moments where I saw my Mom doing it with her boyfriend.

When I was 5 years old, playing house meant taking the girl next door down to a dark hallway underneath our house and mimicking sex with her. Usually against the wall, she'd drop her pants, I'd drop mine, then we'd go through the motions. Luckily "it" wasn't able to get hard back then, and I also didn't learn until much later that "it" was supposed to go inside.

That's also when I learned that Girls don't pee out of their ******. They have a special pee pee hole. We took a break from our "sex" so she could go pee once, and I watched in amazement as she squatted in the corner and sure enough, pee came out. I remember thinking "she can't go pee, she doesn't have a *****!"

She showed me I guess.

Girls can pee just as well as Boys can, we just have better aim.

Yah, I know, pretty fu'cked up ****. But I'm sure others have had weirder childhoods.

There was some argument about a pair of roller skates or something and we stopped playing house. I sometimes wonder what happened to her. Probably a crack-ho now. Also, her older sister didn't like me because I beat her brother in a break-dancing contest. Yes, at 6 years old, I was quite the break-dancer. Back then if you had beef with somebody you settled it with a boom-box, and a piece of cardboard.

That'll teach him to break my He-man action figure.

Anyhow, move along, nothing to see here.

Queen Skeet Smiley: king
#11 Jan 16 2004 at 1:24 PM Rating: Good
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Thanks to California's sex ed classes I never had any delusions about sex.

A women gets pregnant when a man urinates on her *Nods*


Well, that certainly explains a lot.

I remember my mom trying to tell me about the "facts of life." I had ZERO interest. If it wasn't sports, I didn't care.

I remember quite clearly the first time I bled, after getting over the panic of bleeding to death, I simply told her, "No. I refuse this. I don't want to wear diapers."

While I didn't have the collegiate reading level at such a young age, I remember checking out books to answer any questions I had. I remember trying to find a book of spells "to make it stop." I didn't check out a book on the functions of the reproductive system.
#12 Jan 16 2004 at 2:50 PM Rating: Excellent
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Skeeter the Tulip wrote:

Back then if you had beef with somebody you settled it with a boom-box, and a piece of cardboard.


Back then?? What do mean? I just paid a credit card through interepretive dance.

In other news, the first ******** I saw was my dad's. Film at 11.
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#13 Jan 16 2004 at 3:10 PM Rating: Good
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This thread recalls one of my more "anti-brilliant" moments in life - I was in 7th grade and during lunch period, a few of us guys were talking about girls and stuff. Someone brought up oral sex and described it. Feeling superior, I said, "No, no, that's not what oral sex is. Oral sex is when you TALK about sex!" Happily, they were just as ignorant as I was because nobody argued with me.

A couple of years later I learned from actual experience that the other kid did have the correct description! Doh!

Doh! Again!
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#14 Jan 16 2004 at 3:15 PM Rating: Excellent
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In other news, the first ******** I saw was my dad's
Just the one?
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#15 Jan 16 2004 at 3:22 PM Rating: Excellent
I almost got charged with sexual harrassment in 6th grade because me and 2 other guys were talking about condoms.

Not all dirty or anything either, just about different kinds, like army condoms, glow in the dark, multi color, etc etc.

Never found out what ***** complained, I'd like to kick her in the nuts.

Queen Skeet Smiley: king
#16 Jan 16 2004 at 3:25 PM Rating: Good
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I'd like to kick her in the nuts


Wow, Skeet. I think your education on sex wasn't quite complete.

Repeat after me: girls don't have nuts. girls don't have nuts.

Unless they are girl squirrels.

*cough* So... does Flea... nevermind.

=p
#17 Jan 16 2004 at 3:39 PM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
Just the one?


Well actually, yes, Jophiel. He was a frantic advocate for the short shorts during the warm summer months. He also liked to lounge on the couch in the cool basement. One flopped out and it certainly caught my eye. It looked like a squash ball that had rolled under the couch and got dust bunnies stuck to it.

A little bit of me died that day. Hahahahaaaaaaaa!!!

I'm in a silly mood today (apologies in advance)

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#18 Jan 16 2004 at 10:49 PM Rating: Excellent
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So... does Flea... nevermind.

Yes, and they are huge.
#19 Jan 19 2004 at 10:58 AM Rating: Decent
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AHHHH! /thump, falls to the ground.
#20 Jan 19 2004 at 7:00 PM Rating: Decent
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Jeez don't you people have enough to do in EQ (where you might have noticed there are NO babies), that you have to mess around with all this RL stuff. Better be careful! RL can be VERY addictive, and greatly interferes with your gaming.
#21 Jan 19 2004 at 7:08 PM Rating: Decent
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stupid stupid double double post post

Edited, Mon Jan 19 19:09:49 2004 by Debalic
#22 Jan 19 2004 at 7:08 PM Rating: Decent
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Well, technically girls do have "nuts" after a fashion, they're just harder to get to. You'd need to get your foot in past the ankle, though.
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#23 Jan 19 2004 at 10:18 PM Rating: Decent
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I remember California's grade school teaching subjects. We had a week long seminar type thing on the dangers of drugs, for a week they would bring us into the auditorium and explain how drugs are bad, they will kill you, and you will go to jail. But they never told us what drugs were, after the courses I asked one of the much wiser 4th graders what drugs were. "Drugs were the foam that formed on the top of your soda" no **** for 3 years after that I was afraid of the foam on top of my soda because if I didn't let it settle I would go to jail and die!
#24 Jan 20 2004 at 12:28 AM Rating: Excellent
My Mom used to tell my sister and I that candy was "Caca".

For years I'd take any candy that was given to me and throw it away while saying "Yucky! Caca!"

Luckily my Dad showed us the error of our ways. And introduced me to the wonderful world of chocolate.

There came a point where I began to wonder why Dad got to eat the Caca hidden in a drawer underneath a bunch of tools.

It didn't help that his favorite candy was tootsie rolls.

Queen Skeet Smiley: king
#25 Jan 23 2004 at 11:31 PM Rating: Decent
I don't really remember when i found where they came from. Maybe it was from all those damn programs like DARE. I never had the traumatic experience of watching NOVA as a 3 year old. Or got flamed at school for talking about condoms.

Edited, Sun Jan 25 07:38:38 2004 by IceKnightRune
#26 Jan 23 2004 at 11:51 PM Rating: Good
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Holy Jesus man.... if this is the most disturbing thread that you have seen on this board, I feel sorry for you. Yes, I did see my dad's ********....but come on...it's not like he was shoving it my face. Geeeeez, man settle down.
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