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Britney's married!Follow

#1 Jan 04 2004 at 5:20 AM Rating: Good
Sacrificial Lamb
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I know all you broke d1ck losers out there with no lives are gonna take a straight razor to your wrists for certain now that Ms. Spears is off the market. Even though you guys have no game, no chance, and no apartment of your own (and Mom's basement doesn't count) you somehow thought that if given the opportunity you could somehow woo her with an impressive display of EQ prowess. She'd fall for your charms like a hill giant captivated by a minstrel's soothing songs. But guess what? She's not into pimply faced geekboys who laugh at their own jokes and secretly wish the Nvidia fairy was real.

She's found her life-long love and for all intents and purposes is damaged goods from this point forward. Sorry, guys! No **** the virginal schoolgirl anymore. Now she's just the class slut.

http://entertainment.msn.com/news/article.aspx?news=145185

Totem
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#2 Jan 04 2004 at 5:34 AM Rating: Default
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She shagged Justin Trousersnake anyway.
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#3 Jan 04 2004 at 6:29 AM Rating: Good
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RACK jt!

Dark

(I reckon he did too and come on, even most girls would like to be able to claim that one)
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#4 Jan 04 2004 at 10:36 AM Rating: Excellent
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Quote:
She's found her life-long love and for all intents and purposes is damaged goods from this point forward.


Like she won't be divorced in under 2.5 years.
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#5 Jan 04 2004 at 12:12 PM Rating: Good
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How about those skeletons in the Nvidia page. Those are real, right? 'Cause they're hawt!
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#6 Jan 04 2004 at 2:41 PM Rating: Good
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Britney's marriage being anulled already

Guess 2.5 years was a bit high of an estimation.

Hmmm. Been sitting here for a good three minutes trying to put into words my thoughts/feelings for Britney. All I can come up with is: EWWWWW.

So yeah, I'd hit that. With a two-by-four. Repeatedly.



#7 Jan 04 2004 at 3:01 PM Rating: Excellent
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Hmmm. Then take my prediction and apply it to her first non-drunken joke of a marriage.
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#8 Jan 04 2004 at 5:19 PM Rating: Good
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She has good spin doctors... What they left out of the report is that I emailed her a nude shot of my self and told her to come get it.

She is on her way to Australia as we speak.

Dark.
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#9 Jan 04 2004 at 5:22 PM Rating: Excellent
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Dark what would you want with Britney when have th emost awesome Ms Kidman over there. At least when she is not filming.
#10 Jan 04 2004 at 6:14 PM Rating: Decent
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Maybe she realized how silly the headlines were:

Britney Spears marries Jason Alexander.
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#11 Jan 04 2004 at 9:36 PM Rating: Excellent
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LOL, ya, I saw that too. The name couldn't have been funnier.

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#12 Jan 04 2004 at 11:17 PM Rating: Good
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I suppose with the annulment (Gbaji have anything to say about this?) all the teenager knuckle-shufflers can breath easier and resume their fantasizing about making scoreboard with Ms. Spears. Dry your tears, boys, your world hasn't fallen apart after all.

Totem
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#13 Jan 05 2004 at 11:18 PM Rating: Excellent
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http://entertainment.msn.com/news/article.aspx?news=114177
Not directly related, but still amusing- especially Ethel Merman and the Dutch Oven(#5).
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#14 Jan 06 2004 at 12:45 AM Rating: Excellent
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I have always called them "sniffy-snacks" to my beloved. Hmmmph. I had always assumed women enjoyed that kind of thing...

Totem
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Obama

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Winner of the 2008 Allakhazam March Madness tourny

"Totem is the personification of whiskey soaked evil" --Annabelle

"You're special, pumpkin, but not speshuler than the 'Bama Black Snake" --AtomicFlea
#15 Jan 06 2004 at 9:24 AM Rating: Good
http://espn.go.com/page2/s/hays/040105.html
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#16 Jan 06 2004 at 6:29 PM Rating: Decent
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Totem wrote:
I suppose with the annulment (Gbaji have anything to say about this?)...


Got nothing to say at all. Unless you're saying that the Little White Chapel (or whatever it's called since I don't feel like pulling up the link again) was a Catholic Wedding ceremony conducted by a priest rather then a shabby Vegas Strip affair officiated by some guy who bought a state bonding out of a crackerjack box?

Heh. But it's an annulment right? It's all the same...
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