***WARNING: Very long and to some may be boring. READ AT OWN DISCRETION and if you decide to bitch about it, you are a 'tard***
So following the last update (Have no idea what was covered so I'll assume, as always, that I am correct) things were starting to get good.
The wiccan was starting to mellow out, not being so moody etc. (Eg. We went and got ice cream one time and on the way home I asked if I could have some, she said no (Jokingly of course) because it was 'her ice cream'. I pointed out that I had paid for the ice cream and she threw it out the window. I of course pointed out she was being ridiculous (bad idea) and she got the absolute sh*ts with me.)
She said it was because she stopped taking the pill and this meant it was no longer messing with her hormones etc. So all was good. Now I am not a pushy person when it comes to sex etc so it was a little while before we started to go anywhere in that department. I'll spare the details (XXX Version at additional purchase price) But lets just say that after 10 months we still hadn't managed the big ‘S’ yet.
1) At first she wanted to wait (Totally cool with that! Loved it in fact.)
2) Then she didn't want to because she wanted more than a condom for protection. (She had come off the pill)
3) Then she said it hurt too much. (She was still on her V plates, so I understood and never tried to pressure her into anything)
After a while it did get a bit ridiculous. She wanted to, I wanted to, she just didn't want to suffer a little pain (I know all the girls in here will probably shake their heads at that. But Come on, it is going to hurt the first time no matter what. Plus I had been more patient than most people would ever be. Tried everything (Again going to spare some details) and still noting worked, but I didn’t really mind that because we still did “other things”…
Anyway, after a few months of being a little spoilt biatch, I decided to play her game… Didn’t treat her like a little princess any more and basically told her that if she didn’t pick her game up I’d trade her in for the latest model, so to speak. Well she did… She was a lot better to be around, more fun etc. But it was sort of too late, because now I was as bad as her, only she seemed to take it. So I kept it going a little too long I think and she just seemed to get more dependant. I broke up with her a few times and each time I did she came around crying and I couldn’t say no to her and took her back.
After a while I just seemed to resent her for it. I didn’t want to be with her any more and I wanted out. So I probably went a little far and not only didn’t treat her like a princess, but I didn’t treat her very well at all. To my credit she gave me no reason to… She expected me to pay all the time for everything. She always wanted to do stuff when I had to work the next day and didn’t understand that I NEEDED some sleep (She works casually at a cinema). This lead to the next problem.
Too much freedom. I never stopped her from going out because I always trusted her. She would go to the clubs 2 or 3 times a week and then I’d let her come back to my house (She lived about 30 minutes drive away from the clubs, 5 min cab to mine…) Now most people in a relationship wouldn’t stand for that. Most have a hard enough time letting the other out for a boys/girls night once in a while.
Well I guess she like the attention and started to flirt and let guys buy her drinks etc. Because she was never popular in school, in fact, from what I gathered she was a bit of an outcast. Plus when she was little the other kids weren’t allowed to play with her because people thought she was the result of an affair (Parents were married to other people and used to live next to each other) So she had a bit of a complex about her self. Since I wasn’t validating her any more because she was being a biatch, and then all the guys in the clubs were being so nice (because she is such a nice person, not because she appeared to be one of those things with no d*ck between their legs).
One time she told me that a guy came and asked if he could sit near her. She told him the seat was taken, so he went and grabbed another chair. I told her that that was pretty smooth and I’d have to remember that one. She asked if it made me jelous or angry or anything. I asked if she did anything with him and she said no. So I said why should it worry me then?
This went on for a while and she eventually gave me the same ultimatum. Act right or fu*k off. So I said see ya later. A few days after that I sort of had doubts (As ya do) and asked if she wanted to get back together. She said no and I got upset because I all of the sudden thought I was missing out on something. “Don’t know what you have till it’s gone” style. But It was too late she had moved on but still wanted to be friends so I said ok. Then one day she had a whole heap of hickies on her neck and I asked her who they were from and she said Chad did it. (He is a gay guy and she tried to pass it up as a joke.) I believed her for a while, sort of a believe what you want type of thing. But then we went and had coffee to talk about our relationship. Some how the topic of us not being able to have sex and she said,
“Well I found out it wasn’t my fault.”
This was one week after we had broken up and she was about to tell me she had already fu*ked some other guy. I was so pissed off and jealous I couldn’t stand it! A played all cool for a while and she left and I went back to work. I messaged her after a while and told her I hated her and never wanted to speak to her again. She called me and said it was more complicated than that and I shouldn’t throw away something so special… (*Roll eyes*) I asked what she ment and she said it wasn’t completely consensual. She told me she didn’t want to do it, but the guy just sort of jumped on her and did it. (And although she had gone to his house, slept in his bed and put her self in that possition I did sort of forgive her for a second). But I asked what she ment by “not completely consensual”. I said it either was or wasn’t rape. I don’t accept that bull sh*t, either she did or didn’t want to have sex. So she said it was consensual and I said “Have a good life” and hung up on her.
She came around again and did the tears bit again and I said we could be friends again. She over the course of the next few weeks told me all about “Matt” and how great he was etc. and all about their sex life. (Mainly cause I asked about him) and eventually got sick of it and told her to go fu*k her self.
I also found out she had become quite the Eccy -head. She had been taking E’s for the last month or so of our relationship, and was still on them every time she went out at the time (about 2-3 months total). She had been getting managers shifts and all, but was throwing away her job basically because if it was a Saturday or a Sunday shift she would go to work hung over or even while she was coming down.
She tried the tears again and I held strong. Said she should go cry on his shoulders. Then she spun a whole load of BS about how he had raped her and she was trying to convince herself that it wasn’t because she didn’t want to be a statistic. Told me it was too painful to accept so that is why she told me all about it and coloured it with rose. To help her persuade her self that it was all good. And then cried some more and I broke down again and said we could try the friends thing again, maybe even look at getting back together.
When I was away on holidays for 4 days, I got a call from my friends saying she was going around telling everyone I was going to get back with her and they were going to slap me if I was. AND that she was walking around holding some guys hand.
I called her the next morning and said what I had been told and that it was off. She claimed innocence again of course and I told her we could talk about it when I got back.
I said I didn’t trust her and I wouldn’t go back out with her again. We did the not going out, but still doing things bit for a while. Not sex because
4) Sex was now too traumatic from her bad experience. *Roll eyes*
Then one day she said she didn’t want to do anything because she was going out that night and she thought she was going to pick up… Well that didn’t go well and I got mad again. Especially when I asked her if there was someone in particular. She told me and it was the SAME GUY SHE HAD BEEN HOLDING HANDS WITH!!! Blew my top! And get this, he was a flat mate of the guy that had “raped” her… It must have been sooo traumatic.
She later changed her story and said she wasn’t and she didn’t know why she said it. I, for some unknown reason (And yes I am kicking my self for forgiving her AGAIN) forgave her. We went back to the not going out but doing stuff bit again.
I saw her in town one night and talked to her for a bit and she said she had to go to the toilet. She nipped off and I didn’t see her again for 15 minutes. I found her at the bar and her phone (The one I sold her with a $300 discount) was flashing (Was clipped to her belt) which meant she had a message. I grabbed it and read it.
“I am still at home, will be in, in about 30 minutes. Where are you?” Aaron.
Asked about it and blew up at her again. She said it wasn’t anything because they were just friends. I said ok and told her I was going home. She said ok and I told her she could still crash at my house (We were playing paint ball the next day and I was taking her) Needless to say she wasn’t there when I woke up. I called her and she said that she was still going to go and that I didn’t need to worry. I asked where she was… “At a guys place” The one that messaged her it turned out. He also turned out to be an AJ (Army Jerk just in case you don’t have that term over there) and she still wanted to be friends.
Finally I had my head on straight and told her no. She cried. I said no. She claimed that she would fail in life and become a wreck if I didn’t let her be my friend. I said no. She cried some more. I said no.
Eventually I told her that I didn’t hate her I just couldn’t be friends with her. Some where in the story she told me about one of my Ex-friends kissing her. Just walked up and kissed her. I believed her because he is that type of person. A real ass.
So one night I called him up and asked about it. He said he was sorry and he was just really drunk. Never happen again. I said ok, forgiven this time. Don’t let it happen again.
THAT SAME FU*KING NIGHT, they were holding hands. I got up in his face and asked what he was doing and he said he wasn’t doing anything. I called BS on that one and he said he wasn’t lying. I got 3 inches from his face and screamed “Touch my Ex one more time and I’ll fu*cking kill ya!” He said back calmly “That’s right mate she is your ex, I can do what eva I want” I told him it wasn’t that she was an ex, it was that he was supposed to be a friend. I didn’t care who she was with by this point in time, but to see her with a so-called friend is not acceptable. I told him he had better take a swing if he felt so strongly on that point and he said no. I told him to walk away then. So he starts going the same way she went, I stopped him and told him to walk the other way. He protested and said he was going to a club that was that direction and that I had better move. Again I said he should take a swing or walk a way.
He eventually left, as I knew he would. For two reasons. I had always had his back at parties etc when people tried to start on him and he had always let me handle everything. (he is a big boy and talks the talk but usually backs down given half the chance unless he is drunk and loses his head.) and two, because on two occasions he has been done for assault when he had been in for mentioned condition, and couldn’t afford to get another.
Not too long after that I got a call from my current girl and she gave me a lift home. A few weeks later we hooked up. But that is another story.
Moral of THIS story?
If you are a girl and give great head, you can be a crazy emotional childish manipulative lying selfish bitch and there are some guys stupid enough to still forgive you.
And here is
Said Wiccan and I
Edited, Fri Jan 2 07:23:48 2004 by Darkplague