Below, you will find stories of my adventures. Mostly these will be learning experiences. or just oddd humor by little old me
I’m often asked, “Where is Noobsville?” Well, it’s everywhere.
You’re in a party and the tank is afraid to provoke because the last monster killed him.
Welcome to Noobsville. Or, you’re sitting in town and a guy asks you were the
AH is located. You throw out a <pos> because you’re sitting across from it and they say,
“Where is that? I’m by a galka NPC in lower. Am I close to it?” Welcome to Noobsville.
These are my random stories to make you think and some make you smile others make you say OMG!
Map what is a map
It is often said there are newbies and noobs, well you tell me about this one.
I’ll let you decide. While sitting in Jueno looking for a party I see this shout.
“Where do I buy a map to Jueno.” This shout follows. “In Windy you noob.”
I figure he had to be from Sandy or Bastok. So I decide to help him. I send him a tell.
“You go to Port Windy and the map seller is on the docks.” His reply is this.
“How do I get to windy?” I ask him his level. He says he is a level 19 WHM. I ask,
“How did you get to Jueno?” “I followed someone.” Ok, let’s see.
I explain to him the land route. (Port Jueno)---> (Sauromanogue Champagne)--->
(Meriphataud Mountains)---> (Tahrongi Canyon) ---> (East Sarutabaruta) ---> Windurst
. He said “Man that’s a long way off.” I said, “Yep” he said “is there a faster way?”
I said, “Yes, if you had the Teleport-Mea Crystal. But since you don’t know were windy is
I don’t think you have it.” “I have that.” He said. “You have the Mea crystal a
nd don’t know were windy is?”
He said no. I said “What? Did you do buy your account?” He said,
“No, I’m just new.” I said, “Ok here is what you do now.
Shout this: /sh (Teleport-Mea) (Can I have it?) (You can have this.) 500 gil.
” He shouts this: “Tele 500 gil plz.” Now you tell me noob or newbie?
AF were? NM cool! OMG!!
I was leveling in Boyhada Tree with my party and was hoping to find my
AF Coffer and key. I let them know what I was looking for. They were
all cool with it. Three or four fights into the party and we get a key. They
all pass on it. I get the key, yeah. Well about 30 of 45 mins later, the coffer
spawns by the crawler tree. Close to my camp. Our puller spots it. They
cast sneak on me. BAM!! I’m off to get it. Our PLD says watch out for Aquarius.
I’m too busy trying to open the box to pay any mind to what they’re saying
. I open the box and get my AF armor key item. They all cheer I cheer.
They tell me to pull a crab. I see one. I use my macro and I’m to far away
from it but all they see is my macro. Well at the same time I draw aggro from
another crab. I’m like well cool got one anyway. I don’t look at its name.
I just turn and bring it home. The PLD uses his provoke macro and it’s a
FREAKIN NM Aquarius. He dies real fast.
We escape and try to explain to him what happened. He did not care he was
mega mad. I told him we would get the lost XP back He still didn’t care. He
was getting madder by them min. I offered him everything I had on me to calm
down. Nothing worked (I don’t like not having someone like me) I have never
seen a PLD get so mad because they died. All he kept saying is “ when I get
a raise I’m out of here”. We begged him to stay. He refused and as soon as
we got him a raise 2 he left the party.
The guy still won’t talk to me. He has stated he will never party with me
again. Even when you make a mistake and try to make up for it some people
don’t let stuff go. I’m still sorry I got him killed. But it was a mistake
and everyone dies and everyone messes up.
Stick and move
I just got my PLD job and was waiting on a friend to come party with
me in the canyon. When I saw the funniest thing I have ever witnesses
a newbie MNK dodging back and forth in front of a mandi in East Suda.
I stopped and watch him for 3 or 4 fights. He did it every fight. So I
finally stop laughing and asked him what are you doing? He says
“killing monsters”. I say “no why are you moving around like that while
fighting?” He says “So the monster will miss me”.
I tell him it doesn’t work that way. He says, “yes it does watch”.
And shows me how to dodge a monsters attacks by running in circles
around monsters. I like to have fell out into the floor. I had to stop him
. and make him stand still and try it again. Of course there is no differenc
e in hits and misses so I wave /goodbye and as I top the hill. I see him
circle jerking a monster again. Welcome to Noobsville.
I was playing as my DRG I was level 61 and got a party invite. We get to
Labyrinth of Onzozo to kill kitties. So we kill 1 yes 1 and the party disbands.
Stuff happens so no big deal. I decide I’m not leaving till I level I was 2k to 62.
So I decide to solo the monsters at the entrance of the zone to get my level
. I was getting 12-28 experience points each so needless to say I was there
for about 7 hours. I didn’t have WHM subbed because I wasn’t planning
on soloing. I had a lot of downtime. Well about this time bunch of people
show up trying to camp a NM. Not minding the added people I went about my soloing.
Well I get to 200-xp tnl and I see a gob I jump him and start to break it off in him good.
Another gob pops right beside him and aggro’ s. I kill the first one then the 2nd one poisons me
. I’m neck and neck with him in hp I shout for help 3 people are with 30 feet of me
1 WHM 1 RDM 1 BLM and a PLD was across the room and a BST is running in
and out of the room. None of them helped me they watched me die and walked away
. They didn’t even try to raise me. I sat dead on the ground till my time popped a
nd I automatically home pointed to Jueno.
So I am now 3k tnl.(I spent almost 7 hours trying to get my level by my self
only to lose everything I worked for plus some). I do not know the peoples
names but I know they spoke English because one sent me a tell early in my s
oloing asking me if I was after the NM. And I saw the others speaking to each
other every now and then. Many times in your gaming experience you will come
across people like that. They rather have you dead then in their way.
Taking 1 monster every 5-8 minutes.
Cool a drop, No lot …. ><
Another thing I want to talk about this. If you are asking for help to do
anything if it’s a advanced job or a cap quest. If the help kills a monster
and it has a good drop DON’T lot on it you wouldn’t have gotten the drop
on your own and it’s a bonus to the help for helping you. Many time have
I helped a person and during the process I have kill mons for awesome drops
and the newbie I was helping lots on it. WTF! You ask for help to getting something done be an adult.
They are helping you they stopped what they were doing to help you.
Don’t take something they want just because you might need it 20 levels
from now. Or that you can cash it in for some gil later. Now that was said
if a drop happens in the process send a TELL to the high level and ask
him if you can have it
He may give it to you or sale it to you at a low rate.
I have spent my many hours watching shouts in Jueno as I wait for parties.
You learn a lot about people there and how some people have no idea about
anything. Yes the learning curve in this game sux. But doing a little net research
on what to do there are many web sites out there that can help you
www.killvoid.com and http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/ are my favorites and www.ffxiplayers.com
for a place to post a real life (RL) picture of yourself
AF AF AF AF
AF is like crack from the moment you see it you want it. It has you in a grip
that wont let you go. And it just so happens to be the biggest hardest pain
in the rump known to man. If it ant a retarded NM you got to kill it’s a freaking
key and coffer you have to locate the keys aren’t hard to get in most locations.
It’s the help that kills you for one thing no ones AF is in the same spot or even
in the same order so 99% of the time it’s a shouting game in Jueno. This has its
good points after you have gotten all your AF you can help others get there’s or make a little gil mercing.
But if you haven’t it’s a mind killer and your blood boils when you hear the
stories about how so and so got it in 30 sec. just remember to have all the leg
work done before you shout for help. So as soon as your help arrives it’s a in
and out thing. And never ask for more than one item at once and DON’T get a
group of i.e. RDM together for your AF hat and expect someone to help all of
you get it for everyone. I love to help but don’t try to trick me or anyone else int
o killing the same NM 9 freaking times ><.
And nothing will make you mad like messing up and missing a step in the legwork
and wasting a key. I did it and a friend of mine did as well the difference he had to
bribe for help and it cost him 100k for a key. He didn’t know he needed to talk to
1 person before he opened the coffer and instead of getting his AF and got 1100
gil. Me I did the same thing I miss a guy and got a map instead of my AF
In both instance it makes you mad. There is nothing you can do about it just log
out and try you compose yourself. Start that part over. Relax you will get it in time
I haven’t meet a person yet who hasn’t gotten it all by 61. My entire AF quests
from start to finish I lost 10k experience points and spent 200k. On items, spells
and bribes. It doesn’t matter I have it and no one can take it from me. It’s proof
to others and me. I am DRG. “Once I was the student now I am the Master”.
Know your party
I joined a party last night as a level 26 WHM. To party with a dear friend of
mine. I was invited to that party only to be kicked 8 fights later. Because the
rest of the party was 24. If you have read my level range chart you will know
were to go and when. So their xp was sucking. So I got the boot. Which I can
understand no problem. The party leader knew my level when I joined. If he
had of had a brain cell one. He would have known that was going to happen.
I showed my true high-level self after the boot. Instead of getting mad and
shouting or sending massive tells about how I was going to kill him. The noob.
I instead changed into my DRG job. I decided to bodyguard my friend and her party.
I know how to play this game and love the good with the bad.
When it gets bad I take it out on the mons not the people.
Poor but happy and wise
You never know whom your playing with or what there highest job is. Rank
means nothing. My wife was level 55 and was only rank 2 she has every job
and plays them all very well.
Many times have I been in a party and a person argues with me about something.
With a level 30 WAR being their highest job. When that happens. I just let them
believe what they want unless it’s going to get me or my party killed. 90% of the
stuff I have written about I learned the hard way. I had no high level friend to PL me.
Or a load of gil I bought off the net to buy me the high dollar gear.
And I laugh when I see a person wearing 2 mil in gear.
I have 2 mules full of armor and weapons and all that added together comes no
were close to 1 mil. Gear is a good thing to have. But it won’t stop you from getting a party.
I have partied with naked WHM before. PLD wearing tunics. SMN/RDM. You name it
I have seen it. Newbie pop up all over this game.
Were can I buy AF?
Well I finally got all avatars so I decided to spend the remainder of the
weekend as my DRG to help peeps before taking a week off and level SMN.
I run to Selbina to finish a quest and I decide to stand outside the gates and kill trains
. I hate trains. While I was standing there a mithra walks up to me and start
s scooping me out. AF tends to do that in Noobsville. (I’ve read tells saying
“cool armor” about a million times hehehe. I still say thx to every one of them)
He or she sends me the “cool armor” tell. I respond with the “thx” tell. Then it
happened. “ Cool how much does that armor cost?” My mouth drops to the
floor. Then I remember I was new once so I reply. “It’s free you quest for it.”
Nothing for about 45 sec he is still walking around and around me. “Cool
were do I get the quests for it?” I check him he is a level 12 WHM with no sub
. I ask him “is this your highest job?” He replied “yep. You speak good English
for a Japanese player” I liked to have passed out. “Dude I’m from Alabama and
AF is a long ways off no need to worry about the quests” “O can I have
1k gil I’m broke I need spells”
At that moment I realized why we couldn’t kill people just for kicks.
If we could he would be mounted in my mog.
The J/P and The GM
Ok check this out Saturday i fell asleep while playing cause i was just sitting in town. I woke up and a RDM named Arm) she parties with us a lot. She just got beat down by Maat. And need help getting another test. i told her sure ill help.(lets me get more ws off to help get my weapons skill quest done) well a drop spot is at the top of delfts tower. We take off me , her, Sni, and Ele. As a skill up test party. We get to the 10th floor and someone shouts nm on 11th floor unclaimed so we booked to the spot only to see a BST and RDM fighting it . We were on the staircase half way up and the giant was at the top. The BST would run to the bottom and claim a bat then sick it on the giant he would kill the bat run past us to the bottom were BST had another bat for him. The BST started releasing his bats half way up the steps close to our party.
So i started killing them for fun after 2 or 3 I got tired of killing them. Well about this time the BST lost hate the giant did a aoe attack. And it hit Ele and carbuncle auto attacked the giant. Boom we got clam on it. I was like o s**t. I jump it’s a** cause I’m Da S**t lol (had to thro that in for fun). And we start killing it the BST start spamming in jp. Our RDM tells them agro and then the BST charms a bat and releases it behind Sni it starts hitting her and there RDM cast bind on it and I cant hit it. After the bind goes away it hits the closest thing to it and that just happens to be Sni.
Well after about 5 or 6 hits from the bat Sni is almost dead. Then he casts bind but it resists it and goes after the RDM. We kill the giant got 200 gil and a pair of socks. They come running calling us liars, cheats, thief and bad people. We tell them we didn’t come here for the NM we came for the test. They wouldn’t lesions. And then the BST gets a bat Argos a giant. Brings it right to us and the say and I quote " (You can have this) (Death) and they warp out. Well it takes more that a Sissy giant to kill this galka ^^ we kill it and I tell Sni to send him a tell saying this " (thank You) (Experience Points)^^" thinking it was over.
I say lets kill some pots but the BST was sending tells to our RDM and the RDM was sending tells to Sni cussing us and calling us names. Arm tried to calm them down but they wouldn’t have it they get her so mad she called a GM. we offered to give them the socks and the gil we got. Not good enough. And then I learned something I didn’t know. A GM can monitor any chat from says to tells. And he read all that was said by all of us. Scary huh?
He told her we did nothing wrong and if they continued to bother us to let him know. About the same time he cussed her again. GM spotted the tell and said this to her "I will MPK them." she asked the GM what MPK meant. New note about GM powers they can take control of any monster and change its stats and abilities to Monster Player Kill anyone. OMFG dude. Now that scares the #2 out of me now. Can you imagine walking around in east Suda and be lvl 70 and a gob walk up and hit you once and kill you? Note to self. Don’t make GM'S mad
The Return to the Moldivite Earring spot
long ago i want ther not knowing what was in that spot but since then i have learned the wounderful nm that pos there and what he drops. so i descided i wanted one for my RDM which was lvl 50 at the time. so i switch to my lvl 75 DRG and log my wife on (snipps i love you hun) and i put her on auto follow. me going there to just get TOD well when i pop in and make it to the location there is already a nice group of people waiting there .
so i move my wifes char over to the eastern side of the room and i stand close to the way back out of the zone. and just start to watch the others in the room and eat a sandwish. when i notice who all is in the room. in one party there is a WHM 2 a RDM a BLM and a PLD. in the next party is 2 RDM a THF and a RNG. and a random lone BLM standing all by himself not in a part. i start thinking this is going to be a nice claim fest. so i move were im standing on the shell close to the 4 stone that stick out of the ground in the middle of the room.
well it seems that one party got tired of all the gobs and birds in the room so they started whacking them off one at a time. well this caused the other party to get nurous and they started pacing the area. now the THF and RNG in the second party were under the argo range so they were being sneaked and invised by there mages. the lone BLM was standig right in the middle of the 4 stones. it seem the more mobs the first party killed the more scared the second became of them claiming the monster.
well about this time they notice me standing off to myself and i get about 20 checks. and the THF and RNG are being sneaked and invised beside me . and they turn and start walking back twords the middle of the room . i pick up my Subway Steak and cheese sandwish and i take a massive bite out of it . and the danm nm pops less than a sword lengh from me. i drop my sandwish.(witch my dog thanked me so much for dropping)
it was as if time stopped cause my controler was on the coffee table and i reached over grabed it and hit my jump macro. i sub SAM so no voke. Bamn.Bamn i hit it. i have claim. i almost choke on the chunk of sandwish i still havnet chewed cause i was freaking out about it popping in my face. i hit it once with my lance and its almost dead i hit it again and it dies.
it drops eveything it could drop. then the /slap macros hit me super spammed wise. so i do a /sigh then /cry and i get the tells "Did it drop?" i replay no. and they all start warping out .
now for the funniest part of the hole story the party that was killing all the mobs never even saw it pop. never even saw me hit it and never saw it die. morel of the storie is if you coem for a nm at least watch for it cause a DRG wit hno Provoke beat out 2 other parties for a NM i want even going to kill i just wanted to watch the show and get its TOD.