Forum Settings
Reply To Thread

Phyree's Phinal Phantasy Phables: Naeo and LaterFollow

#1 Nov 16 2005 at 9:17 AM Rating: Good
251 posts
Oh boy, I got excited to write this one. Mostly it was because I knew that Aburame doesn't like fanfics (which I think you'll observe I poke at him in the story for his attitude) but also Naeo is a good friend in game and writing about him allowed me to really highlight his humor. Humor as I see it anyway.

Ok let's face it, I just flat out make fun of them both. Please enjoy this story as your laughs come at their expense. =)


Requested by: Naeo
Subject(s): Naeo & Aburame
Genre: Comedy
Setting: Windurst Waters

* * * * *

For any of you that own a pet, you will have undoubtedly noticed the universal truth that if you do not like it, it will be attracted to you. Without fail. It is then safe to extrapolate this type of logic to the hume world, for we all have animalistic tendencies that work behind the scenes. Perhaps it is an aura or a pheramone? Or maybe, just maybe, there is the strange attraction that grumpiness gives off that often binds when one wants to separate.

That said, there is none grumpier than Aburame. You see, this hume by Altana's Grace was born with a scowl. Of course then it was only natural that he pick up the sword and board to become a paladin. A meat shield. Eternally punished, he figures, and the **** of some kind of cosmic joke. To top it off, he had a really bad day...

He had just stepped off of the airship in Port Windurst after a huge delay in Jeuno. Apparently someone had climbed onto the railing and fell overboard. But, it was too late to pass on to his goal of Giddeus and he'd have to wait for dawn to continue.

It was nearly dinner time and the white armor clad paladin trudged grumbling to Timbre's Timbers to get some food in him.

Enter Naeo, a very...flamboyant person. Needless to say his cheery disposition led his life down the path of a bard. Where others found embarassment in prancing about like a ninny, he found soul-lifting joy. As Altana would have it, he was not only aquainted to the misenthropic paladin but also in the vicinity of Waters.

Before the guild shop closed for the night, Naeo hoped to work a bit on his citrus-squeezing. While giddy, he wasn't the brightest of fellows and found endless fascination with simple things like juicing saruta oranges. At the last moment he could, Naeo purchased an entire crate of them from the guild and waddled, encumbered, to the restaurant to sit down and start squeezing.

Aburame walked in, his face dark. He hoped that nobody would talk to him and he could just eat in peace before going to his Rent-A-Room and continuing on in the morning. He placed his order and turned around. In the corner he saw Naeo (the bard's eye-bleedingly gaudy clothes were a dead giveaway). Quickly the paladin turned, hoping the scrawny singer wouldn't have noticed him.

"Of all the nations and all the places..."

"A~BU~RA~ME~," The paladin shuddered, hearing his name melodicly float above a pyramid of oranges, "Hey buddy! Over here! Ooo ooo ooo ooo!"

At this point the bard's flailing and cooing for attention was attracting an equal amount on the paladin. Hoping to end it quickly, Aburame stomped over to end force he hoped.

"What? What do you want from me?! I just came here to eat in peace an-"

"Oh my dear Abu," Naeo pursed his lips, "aren't you glad to see me?" Eyelashes fluttered.

"If I said no, would you leave me alone?" His cheeks were flushed red. From anger? Embarassment? Homicidal contemplations?

"You can't get rid of me that easily, sweetie. Say, I thought you were supposed to be on your way to Giddeus?"

"Yeah well I thought that beans were the only musical fruit. Guess we are both wrong, huh?" He was only met with a vacant giggle.

"Guess what I'm doing! Go on, guess guess!"

"Making orange juice?"

Naeo twittered and clapped. Aburame scoot his chair back an inch. To him, at any point either his psyche was going to snap followed by the bard's neck, or the bard would lose it for good and do something like set the large central starfruit tree in the middle of Windurst on fire and dance around it singing songs of victory like what the tarutaru used to do in their ancient barbaric tribal times.

A white-gloved hand reached for another orange and started to cut a hole in the bottom of the skin. Two white-metal ones folded under opposite arms. There was silence as the bard carefully juiced the citrus into a bottle. At that moment a young mithra presented Aburame with his order: a plate of Tavnazian tacos, his favorite.

"Well, I'll just be on my way now."

"Where ya going?"

"Over there. Away from you. In fact, I may just get this to go and eat in my room."

"Can I come with you?"

Aburame's left eye twitched incredulously. Almost as if it was done on purpose, that same eye was filled with stinging citric acid by a squirt of juice from the orange in Naeo's hand. All the young blond bard could do is stare with mouth agape as his friend's face turned purple.

A truly barbaric yell filled the place. White gauntlets hurled tacos and insults at Naeo. Perhaps not understanding the implications of the act, the playful chap tossed handfulls of orange peels at the paladin with a "Weee!"

One of the peels landed on a tarutaru's head. Being a mischevious race, it too joined in. It wasn't long before the entire restaurant exploded in a flurry of flung food! For the next half hour, Timbre's Timbers turned into a slophouse of dining and fighting. Apple pies and fists flew equally until a corp of Cardians sent by the Star Sibyl herself broke everyone up and sent them all on their way.

"That was fun, Abu!" While having a black eye and bloody lip (along with all manner of solids and liquids covering his body), Naeo chirped happily. He was walking beside the paladin on one of the bridges leading to the residential district of Waters.

"Yeah, was it?"


Through a hidden smile, the dour hume agreed to himself. Then he pushed his companion into the water and burst out laughing. Naeo splashed and twittered too. Now actually enjoying himself, Aburame was freed of his fate-decreed bindings to his former annoyance.

"Hey wait for me," Naeo whined sloshing in the water, "I want to come with youuuuu~*"

Behind a locked and barricaded door, Aburame slept soundly.

Curled in front of that same door, Naeo did the same.

Each smiled that the day ended in such a fun and interesting manner.
Hume, Rank 10 San d'Oria
75 WHM (LFM) / 60 BLM (LFG)
20 SAM / 19 MNK, DRK / 18 THF / 13 WAR, RDM, DRG / 12 PLD / 8 NIN, RNG, BLU
Cooking: 93+3, RFH

Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars...
#2 Sep 28 2006 at 6:17 AM Rating: Decent
384 posts
Hahaha...I still laugh everytime I read this.
Naeo & Loury
PUP73 & BRD78
both retired.
Bismarck Server - 8 years in the making.

Upset about XIV? Stop complaining, and join the solution
ffxiah thread
ZAM thread
BG, Gamespot, and other sites are being utilized as well.
Reply To Thread

Colors Smileys Quote OriginalQuote Checked Help


Recent Visitors: 0 All times are in CDT