There is something about being constantly bashed over the head with racism as an issue that makes me extremely uncomfortable around my black neighbors and classmates. Granted, I am extremely uncomfortable around everyone, but it is kind of annoying how everywhere I go I must be constantly reminded that because I am white and male, I am the latent enemy of virtually everyone who isn't.
There is no way for me to prove that I don't harbor prejudices against a particular group of people, and any attempt to explain myself only makes it apparent to everyone that I have some kind of problem, and therefore must be a racist. This is a bit of a dilemma.
It's the same way with women, who I can't talk to without them assuming I have some secret intent to rape and dismember them. I can't talk to a person of color without them knowing I might actually be out to get them, especially now that actual racists are out and proud these days. It's like no matter what I do, I am made to be some kind of predator that can't be trusted. So the best sort of behavior I can hope to perform is to keep my head down, and not speak to or look at anyone, and mind my own business. I really wish that I could just be a person, without having all kinds of labels attached.
I am guilty of the same kind of judgment, though. I assume that white people I see in public are ignorant honkies, and most of them probably are. When I worked for all those years at Wal-Mart as a cashier, it was older white people who made me more uncomfortable than anyone else, as they are the ones I perceive to be the most judgmental. So I don't really know what I'm trying to say here. It doesn't matter if a person is black or white, male or female, young or old. There will always be some reason I am feared and hated by them. There will never be a way to prove I'm not latently dangerous or hostile. I am a creep, and a weirdo. I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.