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#477 Sep 03 2018 at 7:19 PM Rating: Good
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In all seriousness (and I apologize if this has been brought up and answered) have you been tested for ADD?

My mom (retired) was a reasonably successful reporter/columnist/ writer for many years. She was also fairly disorganized and prone to misplace stuff and would start personal projects and take forever to complete them.

After years...hell, decades of this she was diagnosed with ADD and started on some medication for it. The difference was astounding to say the least.

She described the difference like this: Imagine you are driving down the highway with alot of blowing snow at night. Anyone who's done this knows that it is very disorienting as you sense of speed and perspective gets pretty discombobulated. Taking the meds was like having all that snow go away so you can concentrate and, incidentally, see the road again.

Go get checked, Kuwoobie. Seriously.


ALSO: eels, hovercraft, etc

Edited, Sep 3rd 2018 7:20pm by Bijou
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#478 Sep 04 2018 at 4:32 PM Rating: Good
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Allegory's point about depressive versus positive thinking is pretty darn relevant here. One of the things I've noticed about your writing is the language you use is extremely negative, for things that aren't inherently so.

Kuwoobie wrote:
Telling me that other people are worse off doesn't change anything. Telling me that everything is my fault doesn't change anything.


You can choose to interpret what folks are saying as "everything is my fault", but that's an incredibly negative way of looking at things. The reality is that you are responsible for the decisions you make and actions you take. You can call that "fault", but that's you choosing to view it that way. It just is what it is. There's no blame or fault here, just results from decisions and actions. Some will be good. Some will be bad.

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I think what is happening is perfectly natural. I have been filtered out. I didn't make the cut. I was not meant to survive.


Same thing here. You start out with a reasonable proposition. That it's natural for failure to occur (cause it is, as several people have pointed out). But you then proceed down a path of interpretation that gets increasingly negative. You've been "filtered out", and "didn't make the cut". Again, you can choose to interpret it that way, but we've all failed to "make the cut" at many point in our lives for a range of things, from not getting picked first for kickball, to not making the whatever team in high school, or not getting a call back on that job we applied for. Life if chock full of situations where you aren't the one chosen for something. This is (as you say) "perfectly natural".

But then you go one step further to "I was not meant to survive". Um... What? How do you leap from one to the other? I agree with Allegory that how we choose to perceive things can dramatically affect how we feel about those things, and that this can create a feedback effect. And no, I'm not saying to just put on a happy face, smile, and nod, etc. But just not automatically going to the most negative interpretation of things might make a huge difference.
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#479 Oct 11 2018 at 8:07 AM Rating: Good
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Friar Bijou wrote:
In all seriousness (and I apologize if this has been brought up and answered) have you been tested for ADD?



I don't know. Probably. I do have a really hard time staying focused on one thing at a time. I don't remember mentioning that, though or how it might be related to anything. Like when I clean the apartment. I'll clean dishes for like 35 seconds, then decide I need to tidy up a big mess made by the kids in the living room area-- and at that point it becomes incredibly stressful because there are clothes mixed with food wrappers mixed with toys mixed with forks and pens that all go to different places and it ends up taking an extraordinary amount of time to get anything done.

So maybe. I don't know. I don't know where to even begin getting checked for things like that. I don't have a primary care doctor. I tried to establish one earlier this year after being hospitalized for diverticulitis, but got nothing but a maze of answering machines and robots on the phone and quickly gave up trying.

I am slowly deteriorating. I'm not young anymore. My gut is all messed up. I have hardly anything left of my back teeth due to my gut being messed up, or maybe it's the other way around. --and of course, I'm probably all kinds crazy. It doesn't help that I'm broke and unemployable.

It's nothing compared to what my friend is going through, though. My friend, the wife in the couple that are my pool buddies, the mother of Fujoshi. --I worry for her. Apparently she has some rare genetic disorder that is causing her lungs to slowly stop working. A month ago, she revealed to me that she was going to be needing a transplant, otherwise she will be gone within a year. She is going to be gone for a long time to do some kind of tests to determine what her priority is on a donor list soon. I'm hopeful they'll be able to help her, but I don't know anything about it.

Then, as of yesterday, I learned from her daughter that she also has a major problem with her spleen. She told me that it could "rupture at any time and cause her to bleed internally." Aside from that, she said she was not allowed to talk about it and did not want to get in trouble for telling me.

So now I learn the extent of how distressed Fujoshi is feeling, knowing that her mother will likely be gone soon. I am feeling less hopeful that she will survive. I don't know how her husband feels about it. I don't know what their whole family is going to do without her. She is definitely the one who was always in charge of their household.

Strangely, I don't seem to feel anything. I love my friend. I don't want her to die, of course. Yet somehow it doesn't seem right. It doesn't seem real. Life continues to go on like there's nothing wrong. She still calls me to go to lunch with her on days we're both home alone doing nothing otherwise. She wears her sunglasses and tells me about their frequent trips to Disney World and their plans to travel more. My thoughts feel muddled. Just writing all of this now feels stiff and unnatural and robotic.

Fujoshi has been calling me every day on Discord, and we talk for hours. --not about her mother, but about anime, or her friends from school, or share music that she wants me to add to my usb drive to my car for when I'm taking her to school in the mornings. Or she will sing the entire Heathers musical, word for word. I help her with her homework that she wouldn't do at all if I didn't.

As of about two weeks ago, Fujoshi roped into writing fanfiction for her on a site called Wattpad. I have never seen anyone get SO EXCITED about anything, ever. She will call on Discord and help guide the direction of the story over screen share. She has made herself the protagonist of both of our ongoing stories, where she is the love interest of her favorite characters from both My Hero Academia and Attack on Titan.

I don't know what prompted me to write all this now. I don't feel depressed. I don't feel anything. --not right this minute at least. I have been depressed a lot, especially when I am pressured to find a job. My wife has taken the initiative of applying for jobs for me, since I told her it wouldn't do any good, and it hasn't. There have been no phone calls from anyone aside from those looking to collect my new student loan debt. Of course, potential employers can probably see that now as well. They can see my credit score and all of my social media somehow. They can probably even link all of this I'm writing now directly to me if they wanted to. Who knows?

My wife also thought it would be a good idea to make me an account on Tindr... She said she wanted to prove me wrong after I said there could never have been anyone else if I never met her. I think she is just trying to get rid of me. It's funny because I lose, either way. If she can't prove me wrong, then I'm still an unlovable loser with an account full of my photos on a sketchy dating site.

I told her that dating sites are useless, as there are only two possible outcomes when using them: A.) You sign up, and get flooded with harassment and sexual advances from creepy, unwanted men, or B.) You ARE the creepy and unwanted man and you are ignored by literally everyone.

So it's like... "Haha, world! You see? I AM an unemployable, undatable loser and there's nothing at all you can do about it!" So much winning.
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#480 Oct 23 2018 at 6:51 PM Rating: Good
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This song is called "Goodbye, Veil of Darkness" and it is exactly how I feel today. Everything is going to be fine, after all. Smiley: grin

Smiley: grin

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#481 Nov 09 2018 at 3:23 PM Rating: Good
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I just had the most vivid, terrifying dream unlike any I can remember. Usually I dream about zombies, sentient zombies, tornadoes, or planes falling from the sky, but nothing ever like this...

In the dream, I was at my friends' house. My pool buddies, Fujoshi and their two younger kids. They lived in a new house that I didn't recognize. I was there to help them with some kind of project involving Dragon Ball where I needed to spread glue over a canvas, wait for it to try, then draw/paint over it. I remember asking Fujoshi if this was really what we were supposed to be doing because it felt absurd to me that we'd need the glue at all. She assured me it was, because it was her mother's idea-- her mother, being a professional artist in both the real world and in the dream and was always crafting big projects like this.

I finished applying the layer of glue and remember feeling apprehensive about the drawing part, because I was not particularly good or experienced at drawing characters.

Somehow I was kind of laying down and asleep while all this was happening. This was the strangest part. It was like a dream within a dream.

I remember Fujoshi coming into the room and telling me I needed to get up because the police were there. Indeed, they were. They were inside the house and everywhere outside. I greeted the one that was inside but he didn't seem particularly interested in me. I stepped outside and there were at least 6 or 7 other officers. Their uniforms were adorned with swastikas and they were heavily armed. Otherwise they looked like typical American men. At this point my wife was there, and they were herding us together in a long line of other people through a church where everyone was chanting some kind of slogan in German. My wife and I played along and did our best to mimic what they were chanting and didn't quite have it right until around the time we came out through the other side. While we were inside, they had us filling out paperwork, I guess to verify our identity and race. I remember while being in the church I was holding a black Mac 10 sub-machine gun they had given me. They were handing out guns to everyone.

I remember thinking the entire time that if this was happening here, then what was happening throughout the rest of the country? I felt like I needed to get home and check the news. I was worried for my friend, the mother of the family of my friends, because she was hispanic, although looks white because she's albino... and their kids, who are only half white... I didn't see them anywhere after I left their house. I remember being prepared to tell them not to kill her because she was already dying-- except in my dream she had cancer instead of her genetic lung disorder like in the real world. It never came to that though. They weren't killing anyone, at least not in front of us.

I thought about shooting them, but I didn't. It felt like a really bad idea. That was the absolute worst part of the whole experience-- It was like they knew we wouldn't attack them no matter what our feelings were about it all. They knew we would all get in line and do as we were told, and we all did. Me, my wife, and hundreds of strangers. I wish I could remember what they were making us chant.

Once we were out of the church, we were out in a yard of grass where more officers were waiting. They let us pick out another gun to take with us. One of the officers smiled and handed me what appeared to be a plastic toy Super Soaker, but it was actually a prototype portal gun. It had one chamber filled with red liquid, and another full of blue liquid, and two triggers, one for each portal. I immediately tested it on the ground and stuck the barrel of the portal gun through it, but the portal didn't stay open long enough for me to really do anything and I ended up having to pull the portal gun out of the dirt. The portal itself was only about as big around as a soccer ball.

The last thing I remember is getting onto a yellow school bus with my wife.

Reading it all back now, it doesn't sound so scary. I can't really put into words how uneasy I was the entire time and just all the thoughts and mental imagery that was happening in the background the entire time. Worst of all the was the feeling of helplessness-- that we were all completely under their control-- that somehow and SUDDENLY the entire world was now under the control of this strange, totalitarian regime that seemed to know exactly what they were doing.

When I woke up, I immediately texted the details of my dream to my wife, who then asked me "Are you on drugs?"

I still feel uneasy. I feel like there is just a thin sheet of glass between reality and what was happening in my dream, save for the part with the portal gun. I wouldn't be surprised if they used tricks like that to try and distract people from being terrified, though.
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#482 Nov 09 2018 at 6:07 PM Rating: Good
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Daniel Tosh wrote:
Ever have a nightmare then decide to tell somebody about it and about halfway through your explanation you realize you're retarded? Is there ANY way you can describe a nightmare to be scary?

"I had a scary dream last night."

Okay, tell me about it.

"I was running through this pool of marshmallows in my flip-flops, right? Then the manager came running out of nowhere and HE starts going 'Mmrammramrm' and there was only 18 seconds to eject before the bowling alley closed, and, Tom, you were there but you didn't LOOK like Tom and that was freaking me out! I love cheese!"
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#483 Nov 10 2018 at 3:01 AM Rating: Decent
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I was searching through some backups to try and find a kaomoji dictionary and came across some silly Shit from 07 that referenced =28 and reminded me this place exists. Thought I'd drop a lul somewhere but this is the only active thread, so I guess fUck you you're getting a serious post. (albeit one with little effort on filtering my brain and not ranting because this thread is tl;dr.)

No idea if any of this will relate to you Kuwoobie, but of the 2 posts I read and the 3 or 4 posts I skimmed most of what you wrote reminds me of my thought processes and motivation struggles over the past half decade.
Disclaimer: It's 3am. Holy fUck did I rant. No idea if any of my intentions got across. Nor if any of it is actually applicable to the/your situation. Or if I remembered accurately. Also my advice may be incorrect or Shit or amazing. I'm not going to proof this or fix it up. The only reason I'm even pressing post is because I spent way too long typing this.
Disclaimer2: What is this high abuse shenanigan? If you're going to force me to copy paste preview every single paragraph by itself to figure out how I'm abusing words then instead of being prim and proper I'm going to assert that words with big letters made smaller aren't abusive anymore because if they were abusive they would be filtered too.
Spoiler for long, quote for readability because the spoiler highlighting thing is weird.

Quote:
After I got my bachelors I spent 2 years essentially procrastinating. I had applied for a handful of jobs, but generally found it insanely difficult to find positions for the actual fields I studied for--like literally having to search through 1k positions to find 18 applicable positions on the company's own career website after filtering down as much as possible, imo in part because IT and Backend Devs have misappropriated the Engineer title. What I did find all wanted multiple years of experience and/or rejected me before I could even get to the Interview stage.

I stopped doing some of the things I found fun because I knew I needed to prioritize the effort to find a job. Wherein I procrastinated instead and that lead to not doing some of the things I found fun half in guilt that I had procrastinated with forums and youtube and games instead of what I knew I needed to do.
I asked a friend to help me with his connections and got a job at RadioShack so that I was actually doing things instead of always procrastinating. There I learned that racism is based in statistics and that the general public is a special combination of ignorant, retarded, and entitled. If anything, you'd probably get along with retail workers who have no interest in promotions. There's a type of 'fUck this, fUck my life, but fUck those idiots more than anything else' camaraderie. After a few months the store I worked at was to be liquidated and then closed. Those ~6 weeks were cathartic: All sales were final, no returns / replacements / protection plans from other stores were accepted, got to tell corporate no u the few times they called after a customer complaint since the store was actually owned by the liquidation agent, etc. I had also turned down working at another store 10~15m further away so that I could collect unemployment. Which I continued to collect while going to grad school.

Nearly fUcked up grad school in the second semester. I guess I should mention I hadn't been taking my adhd meds since I finished undergrad. Figured it was alright to let myself relax for a month or two. Eventually called to make appointment with neurologist, earliest they could give me was about a month away. Okay. Before that comes he apparently leaves the practice and they give me another neurologist who doesn't have any available appointments until another month or more. Okay. He leaves before my appointment too. They didn't give me another one this time, because they didn't have any more. I remember at one point with the original doctor I had asked if I can have his number or leave him a message or anything, so he could know I just needed my script filled, but was basically told no. After waiting another few weeks for an appointment with a PCP so that I can get a referral to see a neurologist (because apparently only a neurologist can give me the script and apparently I need a referral to see a new one) I effectively get a list of 2 who are both at least 45 minutes away. When I knew I was going to be doing grad school I got off my aSs and found the closest neurologist, who was 45 minutes away. Went and saw her and she told me I needed to be retested because I hadn't been on my medication in over a year and gives me the number for the closest place that can do the test, which is an hour+ away. Procrastinate, eventually call. They need to make the claim to insurance first. Insurance eventually returns with a denial letter saying effectively 'we won't pay for this expensive broad test when we already know you have adhd'. Procrastinate, make appointment with neurologist. After another 2 weeks wait see her and she essentially says she can't write me a script without a reevaluation and that she can't do them. And then got a bit uppity when I asked her what I'm supposed to do, and then left me hanging. As you can expect to happen when you give someone with adhd the runaround long enough, I eventually gave up. In hindsight I realized she was a lying bitCh.
Anyway I luckily found an untouched 45d supply when cleaning my room before I started grad school. I rationed that as best I could for my exams and projects. But just about ran out during the second semester, which was also when I was transitioning from the old health insurance to free unemployment tier insurance. If things went just a little bit worse it probably would have spiraled into me either not finishing or something idk. On the plus side I did read the entire Wheel of Time series that semester, really good books. Probably shouldn't have skipped class multiple times to continue reading them. Scraped by the third semester with a lighter load and graduated.

Which lead into a very similar repeat of last time. This time around I asked my family to help me. I knew that if someone could get everything started for me, I would be able to continue. My mother came out and spent a few days trudging through all the bullShit and telephone calls and helped me get set up with a PCP ~5 minutes away and we made an appointment. I was rather flabbergasted when I found out that he could directly prescribe me my medication. Started back up on that slowly as I helped take care of my grandmother ~2.5 days a week since she was back from rehab into her house alone and couldn't get up to go to the toilet by herself. Gave my resume to a relative who knew some people in the field I was looking for and got me an interview with a small local company. Started working there a year after I finished grad school. Did some safety analysis on a subsystem for a missile which was incredibly interesting. And now I'm contracted with the Army and dealing with Python. (FUck Python.)

I feel like I'm 5 years behind where I should be, and 10 years behind where I could have been, but oh well. Can't go backwards so I might as well try to have fun while time continues to go forward faster than I want it to. I'll definitely pass away with regrets, but that doesn't bother me as much when I think that one of the bigger regrets will be that I wasn't able to become immortal. I've set like ~4 short term goals I can probably achieve, ~6 short term goals I probably won't achieve, ~12 long term goals I might achieve, waaaayy too many long term goals I probably won't achieve because in proper adhd fashion I have way too many things I want to do, way too many hobbies, and nowhere near enough time or life to do them in. And then I have like ~4 or so life time goals that at the very least border on incredibly unrealistic.
I think this is the main thing that was different from what I skimmed. So much of the vibe was similar, but there was a key difference I had trouble putting my finger on. I very rarely compare myself to other people. My mental sights are on the (selfish) things I want to do, and the betterment of myself. I don't give a fUck about the misfortune or fortune of people who will likely never affect my life. The only people that matter to me are the people that matter to me, the people that matter to the people that matter to me, and the people I can see in front of me. Sad things are sad. Accept the sad things and move forward so that you can look back in melancholy. Once you've watched Clannad and Ef and Ga-Rei Zero you know sad. But if you're always looking back or looking sideways your forward path becomes crooked. You need to look forward. Only then can you end up moving forward. And though life is a bitCh and whether you actually do end up moving forward, or end up back where you were, or end up further behind is undetermined, at least there's a chance to move forward. You can't finish watching Clannad if you stop watching at the parts that make you cry. Whether Clannad or Ga-Rei Zero has a happy ending or a heart wrenching bittersweet ending is something you can only find out by finishing watching it.

Find something you enjoy that's either productive or betters yourself and just do it. Whether it's hiking, hunting, figuring out why something doesn't work, figuring out how to make or do something better, creating things, etc. Figure out what those things are and set a bunch of realistic and unrealistic goals for yourself. If you're having trouble finding things fun because you've got a lot of weight on your shoulders, ask those who care about you to help you out for a short time so that you can cut contact with those worries and feel what it's like to have no responsibilities again. If you don't have anything you want to work towards, how can you expect to be motivated to do work?
Find something you enjoy in and of itself that doesn't need a goal. Treat yourself to these every now and then. Whether it's eating delicious food, marathoning an anime/television series, listening to music, reading Shitty translated chinese web novels, etc. People need breaks. Much like our brains need sleep in order to function, we need either fun or indulgence or drive or motivation to function as human beings.
Whether it's the end destination or the journey, you need to take advantage of at least one of them. If you're having trouble doing so, then just be blunt and ask other people who can help to help you.

Now read the first word of each paragraph. Gotcha?
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#484 Nov 11 2018 at 1:31 AM Rating: Good
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I'll start by saying I read your entire post. I see a lot of similarities in your story that are similar to mine, but also a lot of difference. I'm not sure what you meant when you brought up racism. Were you facing prejudice based on your race? The similarities; however, are those that are consistent with what I see everywhere.

Like I said earlier, it's not just me. It's never been just me. It is a problem that spans a very broad demographic of people.

We are all led to believe that things aren't as ****** up as we think they are. Constantly. We're told to suck it up and be tough guys about everything and pretend like it's all just fine.

I feel like I frequently bring up things like feminism because, even though both men and women are affected by these problems, it is particularly hard for them to be recognized in men when, like above, we're made to believe we have some magical golden key to life for being male. It is all along the same vein.

It's like any attempt someone tries to make to identify when something is wrong, it gets forcefully and immediately shot down by reassurances that we're all just crazy/stupid/lazy and that everything is actually just fine.

So I wonder-- what is the problem? It's extremely hard to talk about without being constantly undermined with ignorant "why don't you just" comments.

Identity politics are really hot right now. Why? People are struggling with their identities pretty much across the board. It isn't, and never was just about any one x group. People feel disenfranchised and out of place all around. This is emphasized by every violent outburst. This is not ok. There is nothing fine about anything the way things are, and it's only getting worse with every passing day.

You spoke about struggling to get a hold of the medication you needed. I think the bottom line is; you couldn't get the medication because nobody cared but you.

Quote:
The only people that matter to me are the people that matter to me, the people that matter to the people that matter to me, and the people I can see in front of me. Sad things are sad. Accept the sad things and move forward so that you can look back in melancholy.


It's the same for everyone. Nobody cares about anything. If there is no significant monetary gain to be had from helping you, nobody is going to do it.

With that thought, I feel like I have pinpointed the unifying error that vexes all of us-- young and old of all races and genders.

We are all trained from birth to ignore it. It's like part of our culture. "Don't help anyone" "Everyone is out for themselves" "Work harder. They got theirs because they worked so hard. See? I got mine. You just suck." "Just get a job." "That's Socialism. This is Socialism. Everything is Socialism." "Mental illness isn't real. You're just trying to get out of working." "Empathy? What is that?"

It's like a cruel joke. We believe in American exceptionalism in a world where no one is even remotely exceptional. We use this as an excuse for allowing a small handful of people to hoard everything for themselves. We worship those people and call the heroes when in reality they're just ordinary people who were born in the right place at the right time.

Meanwhile we are all such suckers. "Oh jeez, Rick. We better work our asses off at this ****** job for our flat rate of pay or our boss will think we're lazy!" We're all painting the fence because we've been tricked into thinking it's the socially acceptable thing to do.

Reaganomics was the beginning of it all. Every aspect of our lives-- our houses, our food, our entertainment-- everything started becoming extremely cheap to make but remained more or less just as expensive for us to buy. We mass produce everything and treat people like animals in a factory farm. Our lives are all cheap plastic. Disposable. Expendable. But people are all so unhappy because we're just imagining it and need to hurry and get back to work to produce more money for the masters. Don't question it. Better yet, give them even more power. More power. More power. It makes me ******* sick to think about how many people there are out there who would read about the dream I posted and talk like they can't wait for that day to come.

We've established a society where empathy doesn't exist, and everything amounts to dollars, and then we've made it completely immovable. Meanwhile the ones who designed it all continue to wrap their tendrils around the world like a cancer.
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Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#485 Nov 11 2018 at 1:33 AM Rating: Good
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I just realized my English was not a very good that last post because it's 2:30am and I'm listening to very loud jarring music. Ok.
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#486 Nov 14 2018 at 9:56 PM Rating: Good
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World is primarily Shit, yep. That's nothing new though, it's always been different shades of Shit. But it does come with some good. Stuff that brings us joy, stuff that challenges us. Find those things and chase after them. If you only focus on the Shit then you're only bogging yourself down.
I feel like you need a little bit of this in your life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27Sl5rrIr-g
Actually, this one is probably more relevant to you. It wouldn't be a bad idea to listen to this every morning. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_Vg4uyYwEk (I probably watch this video every few months: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbWDEIpGWJE )

Quote:
It's the same for everyone. Nobody cares about anything. If there is no significant monetary gain to be had from helping you, nobody is going to do it.

You've taken what I said too far. I don't care about people I don't care about. But I care about the people I care about. I'll go and help some of my friends or coworkers out even if it would cost me. Some I'd lend a thousand or a few with no expectation of ever seeing it again. Even if I thought I'd probably never see them again. I know for sure that at least one of them would do the same for me.

For me, it's not that there's no empathy. But rather it's that I made a conscious choice a long time ago that I would redirect and focus my empathy.
Life isn't forgiving enough to be able to care about everyone. Life isn't long enough to be able to care about everything.

I try to stay away from social media, news, and politics most of the time because I noticed how it was turning into nothing but yellow journalism, fearmongering, libel, and slander. For now I ignore it because I don't believe that I can address or change it.
But that's only because the status quo is what it is. In the future when I retire, I plan to either get into politics to try and make the changes I think should be made, or to head/fund research and development on Virtual Reality and Electronics Integration with the human body (particularly the brain stem / spinal column).

Don't lose your way. Try to find what motivates you; you had it in the past. If you think it's gone because something changed, think real slow and real hard about whether the change really matters. If in the end you decide you've really lost your way and/or it's not worth it anymore, make a new way--if for no other reason than to be a stubborn spiteful asShole to someone or something that tried to hold you back or that you don't like.
Or you can spend some time researching space, physics, the universe, relativity, and black holes. That'll take your current pessimistic tunnel vision and elevate it to a level you didn't even think was possible. After all how can disappointment in interpersonal relationships, in fUcked up politics, and in the state of the world even try to compare with the realization that the earth will become inhabitable, the sun will die, that even our galaxy is virtually a meaningless nothing to the grandeur of the universe, that even if we discover methods of faster than light travel the human body won't be able to withstand it, etc.
Double points if you play Elite Dangerous to enhance the feeling. Triple points for playing Elite Dangerous with a VR headset.
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#487 Nov 17 2018 at 11:55 PM Rating: Good
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Deadgye wrote:
Don't lose your way. Try to find what motivates you; you had it in the past.
THIS.

I could make more money at almost any other job in my hometown and I'm still (11+ years now) working at a homeless shelter because it's what I'm supposed to be doing. Do something right, even if it isn't "profitable".


Deadgye wrote:
Double points if you play Elite Dangerous to enhance the feeling. Triple points for playing Elite Dangerous with a VR headset.
I quit playing that game since I am incapable of securing a port/area landing. %*^& that game. Smiley: mad


I think I mean "system approach" stop or some such. I forget. Too much of a pain in the a$$.


Edited, Nov 17th 2018 10:57pm by Bijou
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Smash wrote:
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#488 Nov 19 2018 at 11:16 AM Rating: Good
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50,688 posts
Deadgye wrote:
I plan to either get into politics to try and make the changes I think should be made
"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."

I've got one deployment and two years before I hit my military retirement time, and am pretty much set to join the NYPD fast-tracking into the detective course. That sets me for another twenty year career and then (assuming I survive the next twenty-two years) I can pretty much retire comfortably and yell at kids to get off my lawn.

I guess in that time I'm going to have to get a lawn.
____________________________
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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