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#252 May 02 2017 at 6:25 PM Rating: Good
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Has it occurred to you that the "one person" is you? I think I mentioned this earlier in the thread, but I'll say it again. I think a huge part of your problem is that you're looking for validation outside of yourself. You keep looking to others to make you feel better about yourself. But what you should really be doing is figuring out how to be happy with yourself, for what you are, not what you think others see in you.



Yeah. I think about that, actually. You have said it before. Other people have said it before. I'm 100% certain that if I went and saw some kind of therapist they would say the same thing.

Right now I'm alone. Wife is at work for the next 12 hours. Kids are sleeping. When they're not sleeping they keep to themselves and expect me to do the same. It's times like now that are really what kill me. It's Spring break so there are no classes this week. So I am stuck with myself for another day, just like every other day. It's how I imagine an animal in captivity must feel. It has always been this way-- since as far back as I can remember, only in different settings with different people involved over the years.

The only time it has ever been different was during those months I had someone calling me every day. Someone to interact with. It is reasonable for me to believe that is what I want considering how things were different during that time. It was different in a good way. I felt engaged in life in some way. I had something to look forward to every day. --and now things are just like they were before that person was in my life. --and now it is worse, because I think about those days and how they're gone forever. I think about what I might have been able to do differently to prevent them from ending, or how I might be able to bring them back.

It is reasonable to believe that because there was once such a person that made that sort of difference, it could perhaps happen again. It is difficult to imagine that one person being myself. I have read some things online about cognitive therapy and how I am supposed to challenge negative thoughts and ideas and replace them with self-complimenting ones. I don't really know what to think about that. It's like I'm supposed to become some kind of narcissist for the sake of survival, and I don't understand how that could even work. I don't really understand. All I know is I don't want to want to be here sitting in this room like this. All I know is there is no place I can go that would be any different, and there is no person out in the world somewhere who could replace what I had, or even come close.

Edited, May 3rd 2017 12:29am by Kuwoobie
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Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#253 May 03 2017 at 6:54 AM Rating: Good
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I think you need a hobby or to be doing activities. Take the kids to a park or something.
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#254 May 03 2017 at 10:21 AM Rating: Excellent
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Take up macrame and sell your crafts on Etsy. Surprise your next object of obsession with some knotted jute lingerie.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#255 May 03 2017 at 2:46 PM Rating: Good
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I've actually been busy setting up a new Minecraft RPG server. It's online now if anyone cares to see it. There will be a whitelist in place until it is ready for randoms to join.
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#256 May 07 2017 at 5:30 AM Rating: Good
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Read these 2 books by Dale Carnegie

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

How to Win Friends and Influence People
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#257 May 12 2017 at 1:54 AM Rating: Good
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I'm starting to think that things are changing-- now that I've left my cave and joined the rest of the world so to speak.

I am very rapidly overcoming my learned helplessness. Last year, I thought for sure that my experience with the woman from the comic store was damning evidence that I did not belong amongst the general population-- a confirmation of my fear that I was completely unsuitable for existence. I thought myself to be literal human garbage because up to that point that is the only kind of reaction from people I have ever known.

But things are different now... I think it began with the with the very public acclaim from my World Lit teacher. My classmates began to look to me for answers, which turned into casual conversation. I think it was at this point that I no longer felt saturated in a sea of indifference. Today, everyone seems to know my name. People walk by in the halls and say "hello" and shake my hand. There is a girl who sits at the table next to me in Anatomy and Physiology who can't seem to stop touching me-- and I welcome her advances. It feels good. For the first time, I feel I am becoming confident. Perhaps I am not so hideous and disgusting after all. Perhaps I look professional wearing scrubs every day, even though I am still a student. Maybe things will be different now.
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#258 May 12 2017 at 8:17 AM Rating: Good
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****, now I need to find someone else to talk into taking out Timelord for me. Missed my chance, I suppose.
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Timelordwho wrote:
I'm not quite sure that scheming is an emotion.
#259 May 12 2017 at 11:18 AM Rating: Good
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Glad to hear you're on an upswing, Kuwoobie! Fly high, but don't forget about Icarus and all that. Cheers!
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#260 May 12 2017 at 11:41 AM Rating: Good
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Pft, not only would the Sun not have melted his wings, but Icarus should have flown higher. Fly as high as you can.
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#262 May 12 2017 at 4:22 PM Rating: Excellent
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If Icarus wasn't so weak, he could have flown over the sun and away from its damning heat!
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#263 May 12 2017 at 10:13 PM Rating: Good
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Kavekkk wrote:
****, now I need to find someone else to talk into taking out Timelord for me. Missed my chance, I suppose.


Kavekkk, I have dispatched all seven of your previous assailants; their skulls now adorn my front gate. I have run out of space so your madness must end.
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#264 May 21 2017 at 6:32 AM Rating: Good
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Timelordwho wrote:
Kavekkk wrote:
****, now I need to find someone else to talk into taking out Timelord for me. Missed my chance, I suppose.


Kavekkk, I have dispatched all seven of your previous assailants; their skulls now adorn my front gate. I have run out of space so your madness must end.


I find the hats you've put on them quite endearing. Especially the one with the top hat.
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#265 May 21 2017 at 8:07 AM Rating: Good
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Sogoro wrote:
Timelordwho wrote:
Kavekkk wrote:
****, now I need to find someone else to talk into taking out Timelord for me. Missed my chance, I suppose.


Kavekkk, I have dispatched all seven of your previous assailants; their skulls now adorn my front gate. I have run out of space so your madness must end.


I find the hats you've put on them quite endearing. Especially the one with the top hat.


That one was from San Diego. I wanted to ensure that he stayed classy, even in death.
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#266 May 23 2017 at 7:20 AM Rating: Good
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I sent an elephant this time. Hopefully the skull will be too heavy and bring down the gate, stripping you of your first layer of defence.

You are also free to drown in its blood, if you like.
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Timelordwho wrote:
I'm not quite sure that scheming is an emotion.
#267 May 23 2017 at 10:40 PM Rating: Good
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It still hasn't arrived, so it's either lost or more stealthy than I'd have expected
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#268 May 24 2017 at 7:34 AM Rating: Good
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Tactical stealth elephants are impressive close range, but it's their sea to land oxpeckers you've really got to look out for.
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#269 May 25 2017 at 7:57 AM Rating: Good
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Timelordwho wrote:
It still hasn't arrived, so it's either lost or more stealthy than I'd have expected


It's a bull elephant, it's not eligible for next day delivery. It'll be there in 5-7 business days.
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Timelordwho wrote:
I'm not quite sure that scheming is an emotion.
#270 May 31 2017 at 7:42 PM Rating: Good
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So I want to live after all-- just not on the same planet as people who think the cost of a gallon of milk and inflation is decided by how much fast food workers are getting paid. I'm seriously getting bent out shape seeing the same manufactured ****** logic from completely different people everywhere I turn.

I wonder how hard it would be to at least move to another country.

Edited, Jun 1st 2017 1:44am by Kuwoobie
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#271 Jun 04 2017 at 4:24 PM Rating: Good
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So there was a fight that happened at a Polo Tropical near here. They took it out into the parking lot and one guy shot the other in the chest. He died. It's sick. All these people walk around with guns thinking they're the god of life and death. They act like Barney Badass because they know they can just shoot someone if things aren't going their way. I'm starting to realize that people who carry guns around with them everywhere are the world's biggest pussies.
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#272 Jun 05 2017 at 7:35 AM Rating: Good
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Kuwoobie wrote:
I wonder how hard it would be to at least move to another country.
First you think of where you want to move. Then you move there.
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#273 Jun 05 2017 at 8:00 AM Rating: Excellent
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Assuming you mean permanent residency or citizenship, it depends on the country and depends on you. Most first world countries are fairly full up on Walmart shelf-stockers but are more amendable towards people in the medical fields. Stay in school and keep your nose clean.

On the other hand, you might find it easy to emigrate to Burkina Faso if you're not picky about destinations.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#274 Jun 05 2017 at 9:08 PM Rating: Good
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I'm not really sure if any kind of licensing or certification I get in the states will be valid anywhere outside of the country, so I'm probably stuck here anyway. I could be wrong. I dunno. My plan is to become as employable as possible in my field, though. I'm hoping I can land a job as a radiology tech at a hospital or some place within a year or two while furthering my education. I think it'll be about another decade of school before I can be "Dr. Kuwoobie" if I make it that far.
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#275 Jun 05 2017 at 9:29 PM Rating: Excellent
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People come to the US on education visas to study medicine so I'd assume that the degree/licensing is valid provided it comes from a credible school.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#276 Jun 07 2017 at 9:09 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
Kuwoobie wrote:
I wonder how hard it would be to at least move to another country.
First you think of where you want to move. Then you move there.


Nice gun you've got there, you *****.
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Timelordwho wrote:
I'm not quite sure that scheming is an emotion.
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