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#1 Jun 03 2013 at 4:04 PM Rating: Good
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A coworker of mine died last week while at home in the morning before work. Massive heart attack. He was getting his daughter ready for the school bus in the morning. She has cerebral palsy, is wheel chair bound and cannot talk. The man's adult son left the house at 7:00am. No one went back to the house until his wife returned at 8pm. She found her husband dead in the kitchen and her daughter in her wheel chair in the living room all ready to go to school.

I've only met one person with cerebral palsy, and his was relatively mild. But he was fully capable of thinking and understanding the world around him, just had motor control issues. I can't imagine what it was like for her to be trapped in the house if she knew something was wrong and be unable to do anything about it.

Work never called to figure out where he was.
Handicapped school bus driver never looked into why the usual handicapped pickup wasn't there.
School never looked into why the student didn't show up.

Not sure why no one tried calling anyone about the few oddities. Seems like a phone call could have saved some potential trauma.

Edited, Jun 3rd 2013 6:07pm by TirithRR
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#2 Jun 03 2013 at 8:46 PM Rating: Good
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You sure have a lot of people dying at your office. Smiley: frown
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#3 Jun 04 2013 at 5:51 AM Rating: Good
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You sure have a lot of people dying at your office. Smiley: frown


I was thinking the same thing. Better stop drinking the water.
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#4 Jun 04 2013 at 7:39 AM Rating: Good
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TirithRR wrote:
Not sure why no one tried calling anyone about the few oddities.
You sure there wasn't a message on the machine? I'm pretty sure the bus driver isn't allowed to leave the bus occupied to see why someone isn't there for pickup at the very least.
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#5 Jun 04 2013 at 7:58 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
TirithRR wrote:
Not sure why no one tried calling anyone about the few oddities.
You sure there wasn't a message on the machine? I'm pretty sure the bus driver isn't allowed to leave the bus occupied to see why someone isn't there for pickup at the very least.


I'm not sure of anything other than the wife not finding out until she got home from work at 8pm.

I understand the driver not being allowed to leave the school bus, but it seems to me that if calls were made they would have gotten around to them all eventually. I broke my finger in junior high and my entire phone list was called until someone answered. Included home, mom's work, dad's work, and grandparent's. And I was just a standard student, not a special needs student with serious potential medical issues.
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#6 Jun 04 2013 at 11:17 AM Rating: Good
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Jeez, that really sucks Smiley: frown. I can't even imagine what that family is going through.
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#7 Jun 04 2013 at 2:22 PM Rating: Decent
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TirithRR wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
TirithRR wrote:
Not sure why no one tried calling anyone about the few oddities.
You sure there wasn't a message on the machine? I'm pretty sure the bus driver isn't allowed to leave the bus occupied to see why someone isn't there for pickup at the very least.


I'm not sure of anything other than the wife not finding out until she got home from work at 8pm.

I understand the driver not being allowed to leave the school bus, but it seems to me that if calls were made they would have gotten around to them all eventually. I broke my finger in junior high and my entire phone list was called until someone answered. Included home, mom's work, dad's work, and grandparent's. And I was just a standard student, not a special needs student with serious potential medical issues.


I understand that it sucks and all, but all anyone would know is that someone didn't show up somewhere. In your case, they knew your finger was broken while in their care, so they had a procedure to follow. In this case though, the bus driver only knows that the daughter wasn't waiting to be picked up. He can't possibly know why, and I suspect it's not that uncommon for kids to just not be there at the bus stop for any of a number of reasons of which the driver himself is unlikely to be privy to. Bus drivers aren't generally informed about absences (planned or not).

Unfortunately, it's kind of the same thing with regard to work. Someone getting hurt at work triggers a response. Someone not showing up for work? Usually not. The most you're likely to get from work is a manager/supervisor calling the person to find out why they aren't there. Lack of a response doesn't typically result in launching into action to send people to the person's home to find out what happened. The usual assumption is that something came up, and the person isn't able to come into work and for some reason hasn't called. There are a host of possible reasons for why that would happen, and ultimately, as cold as this may seem, it's not your employers job to rescue you if something happens to you outside of work.
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#8 Jun 04 2013 at 3:01 PM Rating: Excellent
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When we have people not show up for work we typically call. But if no one answers we don't do much beyond that.
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#9 Jun 04 2013 at 4:36 PM Rating: Good
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Obviously I'm not expecting the bus driver to stop everything he/she is doing and search until this unexpected absence is found... but when I didn't show up to school, the truancy officer from was making a phone call to the parents to find out why. At work, we usually don't call for one "no call, no show" but coworkers and friends will usually try to find out where they are by the first break.

My mother is legal guardian for a relative who is severely disabled. This person goes to a sort of, day work area for people like her. Do simple jobs and such, then go back home, etc. Any time she isn't going, my mom calls ahead to let them know, else they do get a bit worried that she didn't show up. They've also called my mom to throw up red flags about potential signs of abuse.

I guess I've just always assumed that these special needs care groups were much more active in monitoring their students and such.
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#10 Jun 05 2013 at 8:17 PM Rating: Decent
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TirithRR wrote:
My mother is legal guardian for a relative who is severely disabled. This person goes to a sort of, day work area for people like her. Do simple jobs and such, then go back home, etc. Any time she isn't going, my mom calls ahead to let them know, else they do get a bit worried that she didn't show up. They've also called my mom to throw up red flags about potential signs of abuse.


If they got worried and called your mom, and got no answer, would they send someone to the house to check on them? I'd like to assume if this went on for several days, someone might do something more (like call the police and have them look into it), but I can't think of a whole lot of situations where they'll send someone physically to a home on the first day someone doesn't show up for school/work/whatever.

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I guess I've just always assumed that these special needs care groups were much more active in monitoring their students and such.


Yeah. Sadly, in this case, their preparations assume a likely problem occurring with the special needs person and not the person caring for them. Not a whole lot you can do in the situation that happened. Massive heart attack of a caregiver such that he/she can't call for help? If he'd been home alone when it happened, he'd have been just as dead. The tragedy here is that the daughter was there but could do nothing because of her condition. Again though, this really is a case where there just isn't much you can do to prevent it.
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#11 Jun 07 2013 at 8:52 AM Rating: Good
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#12 Jun 07 2013 at 10:02 AM Rating: Good
No thanks. Check back when I'm drowning though.
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#14 Jun 12 2013 at 10:55 AM Rating: Good
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I'd ask the audience for help at that point.
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#15 Jun 13 2013 at 4:57 PM Rating: Decent
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Look, I get that it's very tragic. But, sadly, that's the world we live in. One less cog in the machine, one fewer face on the bus... it just will go unnoticed. It's a massive disconnection we all have. When people drop out of your life, people don't stop and wonder what really happened to them unless they are a close friend or family. I have known a number of co-workers here, and even have them on Facebook, but @#%^ed if I know thing one they are up to today.

I will admit, I am just as self-involved as everyone else, and realistically even the OP who is mentioning that the guy wasn't called... called no one on their own. It's just not something you do. And I am sorry, that makes me horribly sad. When did we stop sincerely caring about the people in our life? Have we all become so disposable that no one truly matters until it is too late?

**** one of the techs that works for our company was brutally murdered just after quitting, and no one gave a @#%^. No notification to anyone here, we were actually told by a client in the area that saw him on the @#%^ing news. And I used to talk to him at least once a week for almost 2 years. Yet, no notice of his passing was even sent around.

Yes, in "ye olden days", the principal would have gotten involved and even possibly gone to the house to look. I know mine did back in elementary school when I was truant one day. Granted, this was in a small down, so that's understandable. But even in larger cities, they could have tried to contact other people. That's the way it used to be. It's such a sad statement how far we've gone to just not take even 5 minutes to look past the surface. I can't say I am blameless either, but I am trying to be better.


And I'll phone a friend.

Edited, Jun 13th 2013 6:59pm by Pawkeshup
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#16 Jun 13 2013 at 5:01 PM Rating: Good
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Pawkeshup, Averter of the Apocalypse wrote:
even the OP who is mentioning that the guy wasn't called... called no one on their own.


I was away on a 10 day vacation from work and didn't know about the incident until after the fact.

Edited, Jun 13th 2013 7:01pm by TirithRR
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#17 Jun 14 2013 at 7:32 AM Rating: Good
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Calling someone who didn't show has been a supervisor's duty in literally every job I've ever held.

And if that's obviously abnormal behavior (meaning, they're not new and you trust them to be responsible), you would call again.

Not calling just seems weird.

It was also standard policy in my school district to call home if a student doesn't show. My parents got calls on days I was late, just because the fact that I showed hadn't been communicated yet.

I can't comment on the bus part, since I have no clue how a handicapped pick-up deviates from a normal pick-up.


But the fact that no one called from the school or the workplace does disturb me.
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#18 Jun 14 2013 at 4:15 PM Rating: Decent
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There's some truth to all of that, but in this case, calling the house wouldn't have made a difference anyway. If either person in the house had been capable of using a phone, they would have called for assistance. I certainly don't blame the work for this at all. It's not like they maintain lists of numbers to call if someone doesn't show up. The school is a different story though. Schools tend to have a list of contacts to go through in the case of an emergency (or if a student doesn't show up). You'd think that this should have resulted in a call going to the mother and her investigating and discovering what had happened much sooner.

But it's possible that the school did try to call, but for some reason couldn't get a hold of the mother. There's too many things we don't know about what happened.
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#19 Jun 17 2013 at 9:04 AM Rating: Good
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I wouldn't have expected the workplace, assuming it's a larger one, to try and contact an emergency number. But calling just seems like it should be standard practice.

Best case scenario, your employee is still sleeping for some reason. Or thinks it's Sunday. Worst case scenario, something is wrong, and contact could be important. Either way, it won't hurt the business to call.

And if you're in a smaller work environment, wouldn't you feel like your coworkers should be wondering/worrying where you are? Assuming you've never done this before, at least.

Yeah, in this specific circumstance, a call wouldn't have done anything. What's disturbing is that there was no effort made, though.
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#20 Jun 18 2013 at 1:56 AM Rating: Good
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idiggory, King of Bards wrote:


I can't comment on the bus part, since I have no clue how a handicapped pick-up deviates from a normal pick-up.
.


Having rode the sunshine bus to school in my senior year (yes, I am special) my experience was that the bus driver was quite involved, would help get the kids in wheelchairs into the bus with the parent etc. it wasn't like your typical school bus where the bus just stops and the passenger gets on. I would think a sudden absence woukd be noted... But anecdotal evidence yada yada
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#21 Jun 18 2013 at 12:15 PM Rating: Good
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Olorinus the Ludicrous wrote:
idiggory, King of Bards wrote:


I can't comment on the bus part, since I have no clue how a handicapped pick-up deviates from a normal pick-up.
.


Having rode the sunshine bus to school in my senior year (yes, I am special) my experience was that the bus driver was quite involved, would help get the kids in wheelchairs into the bus with the parent etc. it wasn't like your typical school bus where the bus just stops and the passenger gets on. I would think a sudden absence woukd be noted... But anecdotal evidence yada yada
I'm assuming they didn't put you on the special bus because you're **** or fat.

Do you have scoliosis?

As far as the pick-up or lack of it, there is little I'd dare comment about. For all any of us knows, absences from school (and the sunshine bus) could have been a common occurrence for this individual so may not have raised eyebrows.



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#22 Jun 18 2013 at 7:15 PM Rating: Decent
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Elinda wrote:
As far as the pick-up or lack of it, there is little I'd dare comment about. For all any of us knows, absences from school (and the sunshine bus) could have been a common occurrence for this individual so may not have raised eyebrows.



Yeah. I think I mentioned before that I doubt that the bus driver personally is going to do anything if someone isn't at the stop. The most obvious conclusion (especially for special needs kids) is that something came up and the driver wasn't informed that the child wouldn't be there for pickup. I'd imagine that happens frequently enough not to be alarming to the driver. What is a bit odd is that the school didn't notice the absence and run through their list of contact numbers. That's something you'd expect should happen if a student doesn't show up and there wasn't any notification of said absence. Again though, it's possible that the school did do this, but for some reason couldn't contact the mother. We don't have that information, so it's pure speculation.

I'll point out again that I don't expect a workplace to do much with regard to an absence. Really depends on the nature of the job. An hourly slot type position, they'll tend to call and if they don't get an answer, they find someone to fill the slot and move on. For larger workplaces, that may not happen though.
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#23 Jun 20 2013 at 1:07 AM Rating: Good
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Elinda wrote:
I'm assuming they didn't put you on the special bus because you're **** or fat.

Do you have scoliosis?


No.

It's sort of a long story. Anyway, I thought it was amusing at the time, lol. Still do.
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#24 Jun 20 2013 at 8:21 AM Rating: Good
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What a horrible experience for the daughter. Sucky for everyone else, too. Smiley: frown

I tend to think that neutrally impersonal behavior is more prevalent in communities and organisations that are very large and/or underfunded. Apparently humans tend to have an upper limit on their social network of 150 people. People outside our 150 closest family/friends/acquaintances/colleagues/students/club members, get short shrift. My high school had just over 800 students. I was off sick so often my mother eventually gave up writing notes for school for me whenever I stayed home in bed with a tissue box, dry toast and orange juice. One year I was insulted to bring home a report card that said I had been absent without authority (truant) for 53 days that year. No-one had ever contacted my parents to check where I was, and if I had parental permission to be absent from school, given I had started being absent without doctor's notes.
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#25 Jun 20 2013 at 8:28 AM Rating: Good
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Olorinus the Ludicrous wrote:
Elinda wrote:
I'm assuming they didn't put you on the special bus because you're **** or fat.

Do you have scoliosis?


No.

It's sort of a long story. Anyway, I thought it was amusing at the time, lol. Still do.
Well good to know you're not terribly deformed.

I have an aunt that was once a hunchback. She finally had a series of operations in the late 70's that straightened her out pretty good. Even as a hunchback though, she was easily and indisputably the most beautiful of all the aunties. She's still my fav. We call her Aunt Buggy.
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#26 Jun 20 2013 at 8:31 AM Rating: Good
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Aripyanfar wrote:
I was off sick so often my mother eventually gave up writing notes for school for me whenever I stayed home in bed with a tissue box, dry toast and orange juice.

I had a friend scribe my notes in High School - from day one. Even if my mom wrote me a note, I'd have my gf rewrite it.

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#27 Jun 20 2013 at 8:55 AM Rating: Good
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