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#1 Feb 25 2013 at 9:08 AM Rating: Good
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Me, my wife and my step daughter were at some kind of restaurant. My wife (Shany) said it was Erica's(stepdaughter) birthday and started clapping and singing the "happy birthday" song, which quickly prompted the restaurant staff to come out and do the same, presenting Erica with some ice cream and cake. They came out seeming unsure exactly who's birthday it actually was, but they figured it out.

On the way home, Shany and I stopped at some strange doctors office. I asked Shany why and she said it was for some "routine checkup" so they could check me for any problems. At the desk, they told me to write my name and "next of kin" on a sheet of paper they gave me. I could see several others had done the same thing, so I wrote my name and Shany's name below mine.

I was then led back into a hall where I was to lie down and wait. Later, a doctor or nurse or someone came and started firing up a chainsaw. No one said anything about chainsaws, or surgery for that matter... I asked the doctor what in the world she was doing, and she simply told me to sit perfectly still with my arms to the side. ********** THAT" I thought, but I asked her again what she was doing and why a ******* chainsaw was necessary. At this point she was just starting to ignore me. Finally, with the chainsaw roaring, she plunged the blade down towards me, where I rolled to my side to evade it. She then ******* at me making her ruin the office's couch, and I yelled at her saying if she'd just bloody tell me what she was trying to do I might be more willing to cooperate. Then she stormed away in a hurry, and all I could think about was how much trouble I must have been in, looking at the hole in the couch.

After sitting there for a minute or two thinking about what just happened, I put my clothes back on and walked out of the office without a word to anyone. Outside it was hot and humid. It appeared the office was stuck on an island in the middle of a small Florida lake. At the waters edge was a small wooden boat with 4 other people I'd never met before sitting there waiting for me, including a sleeping old man. Once I got in, the boat immediately started moving. None of us were paddling or using any kind of powered equipment. The boat seemed to be moving forward by my will alone. After realizing this, my dream seemed to have shifted in attempt to make more sense, so suddenly the bottom of the boat had fallen out, and was now moving forward because my legs were kicking it forward from the lake floor... At some point the sleeping old man must have fallen out of the boat, because some of the others commented on where he had gone.

Eventually we arrived at the shore where, still walking with the boat around our waist, had to walk across a busy highway where we were almost struck by several large trucks. At the other side of the highway was a VERY large and awkwardly parked sickly green/grey colored bus where a large number of elderly folks were unloading onto the side of the road.

At some point I eventually made my way home, where my wife was there to tell me how much legal trouble I could be in for leaving the doctor's office without checking out, and for telling everyone what happened there. "You can't Squawk and Walk" she said. Apparently in my dream, the things that happen within the walls of a doctors office must be kept confidential and telling anyone about it was against the law. She then told me that the purpose of the operation was to correct a problem with my jaw that caused me to snore loudly and talk in my sleep at night.

In other news, I'm kind of afraid I might have prostate cancer in real life Smiley: frown
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#2 Feb 25 2013 at 9:09 AM Rating: Good
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Kuwoobie wrote:
In other news, I'm kind of afraid I might have prostate cancer in real life Smiley: frown


Well you can either self-test, get your wife to check, or pay a stranger a lot of money to do it.
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#3 Feb 25 2013 at 9:11 AM Rating: Excellent
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I'd be a bit concerned about having a prostate exam done with a chainsaw, too.
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#4 Feb 25 2013 at 9:36 AM Rating: Decent
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Seems like you have been watching to many Horror movies.
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#5 Feb 25 2013 at 9:38 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
I'd be a bit concerned about having a prostate exam done with a chainsaw, too.


I think the chainsaw was to remove his jaw to stop the snoring. Either way, concern should still be had.
#6 Feb 25 2013 at 10:08 AM Rating: Good
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tl;dr.
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#7 Feb 25 2013 at 10:37 AM Rating: Good
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Kuwoobie wrote:

In other news, I'm kind of afraid I might have prostate cancer in real life Smiley: frown

Dang. Seriously? That would certainly explain the funky dreams.

Get it checked out. Prostrate cancer is pretty curable.
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#8 Feb 25 2013 at 10:46 AM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
Kuwoobie wrote:

In other news, I'm kind of afraid I might have prostate cancer in real life Smiley: frown

Dang. Seriously? That would certainly explain the funky dreams.

Get it checked out. Prostrate cancer is pretty curable.

Seriously go for it, we could use more funding here anyway.
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#9 Feb 25 2013 at 10:49 AM Rating: Good
Shaowstrike the Shady wrote:
Kuwoobie wrote:
In other news, I'm kind of afraid I might have prostate cancer in real life Smiley: frown
Well you can either self-test, get your wife to check, or pay a stranger a lot of money to do it.

NixNot would do it for free.













/rimshot
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#10 Feb 25 2013 at 10:52 AM Rating: Excellent
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Friar Bijou wrote:
Shaowstrike the Shady wrote:
Kuwoobie wrote:
In other news, I'm kind of afraid I might have prostate cancer in real life Smiley: frown
Well you can either self-test, get your wife to check, or pay a stranger a lot of money to do it.

NixNot would do it for free.













/rimjob
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#11 Feb 25 2013 at 11:05 AM Rating: Excellent
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I'd be scared if I thought I had cancer too. But the faster you get it checked out, the better everything will turn out.

Also your dream said that underneath you're freaking that a prostate exam for cancer, and any extensive treatment, will be scary, unendurably invasive and excessive. The Doctors will be uninformative and uncaring. But you trust they will NEVER tell anyone else what is going on with you.

You also seem to feel very vulnerable about sleeping, and think that others think that you should change how you feel about it, while you are all "@#%^ you, it's my vulnerability, I'm allowed to obsess over it."?

Edit: now I feel I need a disclaimer signature, like Smash's but different.

Edited, Feb 25th 2013 1:40pm by Aripyanfar
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#12 Feb 25 2013 at 12:44 PM Rating: Excellent
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My mother-in-law is a nurse and has said before that the only people who die of prostate cancer are the ones who don't get it checked out. It's a very treatable condition.

While not a hard and fast rule, you get the idea.
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#13 Feb 25 2013 at 12:46 PM Rating: Excellent
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I don't think the phrase "hard and fast" should be used in conjunction with a prostate exam.
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#14 Feb 25 2013 at 12:51 PM Rating: Good
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You're missing out.
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#15 Feb 25 2013 at 1:03 PM Rating: Excellent
lolgaxe wrote:
I don't think the phrase "hard and fast" should be used in conjunction with a prostate exam.



You're right, "slow and tender" sounds so much better.
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