Move out of the apartment and into a house with 4+ acres of land, with the house situated smack dab in the middle of it, surrounded by trees.
That's just asking to be abducted and **** probed.
Someone on another forum wrote:
Wow, you've got an awesome writing style.! I really dig the narrator'sback story, humor, sarcasm, and the plethora of pop culture references. Altogether a refreshingly different RotR journal (not that I don't like the more traditional ones, mind you).