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#1 Oct 11 2012 at 4:30 AM Rating: Decent
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Hi =)
#2 Oct 11 2012 at 5:40 AM Rating: Good
Needs More Smut
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Try Benedryl.

Or alcohol.
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#3 Oct 11 2012 at 5:47 AM Rating: Good
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Go with alcohol, alcohol is never a bad idea.
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#4 Oct 11 2012 at 5:50 AM Rating: Good
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Why would you be sleeping? It was 7:30 when you posted.
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#5 Oct 11 2012 at 8:09 AM Rating: Good
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Must have been posted from school.
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#6 Oct 11 2012 at 8:19 AM Rating: Good
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Death is an eternal slumber.
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#7 Oct 11 2012 at 8:19 AM Rating: Good
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Not for zombies.
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#8 Oct 11 2012 at 8:21 AM Rating: Good
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Zombies aren't real.
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#9 Oct 11 2012 at 9:05 AM Rating: Excellent
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They're pretty awesome though.
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#10 Oct 11 2012 at 10:07 AM Rating: Good
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So is your mom.
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#11 Oct 11 2012 at 10:19 AM Rating: Excellent
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Your mom is so fat that she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
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#12 Oct 11 2012 at 10:22 AM Rating: Good
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someproteinguy wrote:
Your mom is so fat that she has to iron her pants on the driveway.


Just by sitting down.
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#13 Oct 11 2012 at 11:39 AM Rating: Good
Your mother is so obese that she finds it difficult to climb several flights of stairs.
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#14 Oct 11 2012 at 12:10 PM Rating: Good
Mix benadryl and alcohol. Throw in some tylenol for good measure. Trust me, I'm a doctor.
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#15 Oct 11 2012 at 12:14 PM Rating: Good
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Nyquil is the secret 13th step.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#16 Oct 11 2012 at 1:41 PM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
Nyquil is the secret 13th step.


So sayeth Dennis Leary...But he quit smoking, so he lost all integrity!
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#17 Oct 22 2012 at 10:02 AM Rating: Good
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I would go with alcohol. It might not make you more sleepy, but it's more fun to stay awake.
#18 Oct 23 2012 at 12:10 PM Rating: Good
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Professor stupidmonkey wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
Nyquil is the secret 13th step.
So sayeth Dennis Leary...But he quit smoking, so he lost all integrity!
Lewis Black said it, too, and he's enough angry old Jew to validate the claim for me.
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#19 Oct 24 2012 at 11:19 AM Rating: Good
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When I can't sleep, I visualize myself as a frog wading in the shallow water at the edge of a large pond on a hazy afternoon. The pond is covered from the sun by large fronds of tall pond grass. The cool sheets begin to feel like floating in water, which is extremely relaxing.
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#20 Oct 26 2012 at 5:31 AM Rating: Excellent
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That's a waste of perfectly good drugs if you're going to sleep while you're still tripping out.
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#21 Oct 27 2012 at 8:12 AM Rating: Good
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3 mgs of Xanax puts me out. But don't sleep more often Flixa. I'd like you posting more!
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