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I love my crazy family. Follow

#1 Sep 20 2012 at 3:40 AM Rating: Good
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So, my mother's sister has told my mother never to contact her family again in any way, and that if she does, she (my Aunt) will take out an intervention order against her (my mother).

Since the real story behind this is actually incredibly long, boring, and sad, feel free to make up reasons why one 60 year old lady would take out an intervention order against her slightly older sister. I'll start: My mother got ****** at a party, and revealed that her sister uses "18 Again" to the whole family.
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#2 Sep 20 2012 at 6:39 AM Rating: Excellent
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HAHA that is funny!
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#3 Sep 20 2012 at 9:22 AM Rating: Good
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Do you know what's even funnier? The active ingredient, and I kid you not, is "real gold dust".

For that sparkling glow, I assume!
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#4 Sep 20 2012 at 9:31 AM Rating: Good
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I admit I was waiting for George Burns to show up in that video.
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#5 Sep 20 2012 at 11:12 AM Rating: Good
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Aripyanfar wrote:
Do you know what's even funnier? The active ingredient, and I kid you not, is "real gold dust".

For that sparkling glow, I assume!
IIRC, there's a product you can buy which is basically gold flakes in a pill capsule whose sole purpose is to make your **** have flakes of gold in it.
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#6 Sep 20 2012 at 1:13 PM Rating: Excellent
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So the real question here is, does it actually work?
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#7 Sep 20 2012 at 1:30 PM Rating: Good
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Mistress Darqflame wrote:
So the real question here is, does it actually work?


Need to know 'cause my @#%^ is loose as ****.

Edited, Sep 20th 2012 3:20pm by Darqflame
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#8 Sep 20 2012 at 1:32 PM Rating: Good
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I don't think it will actually make your @#%^ sparkly if that's what you're asking.

Apparently, **** is censored. (yes it is and for good reason)

Edited, Sep 20th 2012 9:33pm by Aethien

Edited, Sep 20th 2012 3:19pm by Darqflame
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#9 Sep 20 2012 at 2:05 PM Rating: Good
ieatmice wrote:
Mistress Darqflame wrote:
So the real question here is, does it actually work?


Need to know 'cause my @#%^ is loose as ****.


My bad.


Edited, Sep 20th 2012 3:20pm by Darqflame
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#10 Sep 20 2012 at 2:15 PM Rating: Excellent
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On a related @#%^ed-up-family note, after moving my mom up here to prevent her from being homeless 3 years ago, she left last december to go help my other sister raise her newborn 3rd child (first two are now wards of the state), despite my advice that she was transient and whomever she was living with would kick both of them out within a month. I also delivered the warning at that time that if she left, there would be no return.

Fast foward to August 15th and she was living in a fleabag motel on just her social security income trying to take care of both my other sister and her child and she was completely and utterly flat broke 75% of the month. Between the 3 of them, they ate maybe 1 small meal every couple of days.

Against my own advice, and at the behest of my youngest sister (the one I adopted), I gave in and offered my mother a second chance at staying with us, on the condition that the same rent and rules applied and that I wanted nothing to do with my other sister. I feel she's a lost cause and will not be dragged down to rock bottom to support her bad decisions and unwillingness to quit being a complete @#%^up.

Mother agreed. She got paid on the 1st, arrived on the 8th FLAT BROKE. Get that? She managed to spend $698 in 6 days in spite of the fact that she knew she owed me $200 rent when she arrived. Not only that, she's being a psychological drain and a useless waste of space ever since she arrived. Additionally, my other sister (who btw is 5 months pregant after delivering her 3rd child in December) has been calling her 15+ times a day, and though she'll never admit it, has been trying to convince my mother to move back down to said fleabag motel AGAIN to help her with the newborn baby (despite te fact that she can't even raise the one she has!)

While I was scolding my sister yesterday evening for failing a class purely on the basis of laziness, I used our mother and other sister as an example of what laziness and stupidity can result in. My mother took this as the perfect opportunity to express her (unconscionable) desire to move away AGAIN. I told her that was it, it was done, no further discussion. When her next check comes in on the first, she's getting her worthless *** on a bus and never speaking to us again. I'll give her my cell phone number for emergency/death scenarios, but will be changing our home phone number and my sister's cell number. When she leaves, it will be the last time she ever speaks to either one of us again.

Am I being an *** about this? Yes. But a few of you who have heard my stories in the past might be able to understand what a completely ridiculous @#%^ed up situationa and person I'm dealing with. I feel like that guy that had to cut off his own arm to save his life.


/rant off
/hijack off

TL;DR - I hate my crazy family.

Edited, Sep 20th 2012 3:16pm by BrownDuck
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#11 Sep 20 2012 at 2:19 PM Rating: Good
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There's only so much you can do for someone who isn't willing to change. Also, I have no idea how the **** I'd ever deal with a situation even remotely like that.
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#12 Sep 20 2012 at 2:39 PM Rating: Good
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BrownDuck wrote:
TL;DR - I hate my crazy family.
Your youngest sister is very lucky to have you. How is she handling the situation with your mother? I'm sure she at least understands somewhat, but it's still got to be difficult.
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#13 Sep 20 2012 at 2:42 PM Rating: Decent
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Spoonless wrote:
BrownDuck wrote:
TL;DR - I hate my crazy family.
Your youngest sister is very lucky to have you. How is she handling the situation with your mother? I'm sure she at least understands somewhat, but it's still got to be difficult.

She's distraught. Keeps begging me to reconsider but doesn't understand the dynamics of the situation. Incidentally she just started collecting full social security supplemental income last month due to her epilepsy / cognitive disability. Her job prospects are nil at this point, and I'm just focusing on her school stuff so she can get a real bonified diploma.
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#14 Sep 20 2012 at 3:22 PM Rating: Good
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From my experience, while becoming an adult puts a mother's craziness in a new light, sometimes, ******* just be crazy. Your youngest sister may not ever understand, since to her you ARE the caretaker of the family, but it is definitely not your place to hold their hands while they ride the wild train of self-destruction. You can't always be a hero, unless you want to become an hero.
#15 Sep 20 2012 at 3:51 PM Rating: Good
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Unfortunately, the right thing here sounds like putting yourself between her and your mother. She might resent you for it, and she probably won't understand for a long time (if ever), but there's a reason people say parenting is about self-sacrifice. It's definitely the right thing to do, and it's the difference between giving her a future and letting her get sucked down with the rest. Because if your mother has no qualms about leaching off you, you can bet she won't have any trouble asking your sister for money from her disability check.
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#16 Sep 20 2012 at 4:37 PM Rating: Good
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PunkFloyd, King of Bards wrote:
ieatmice wrote:
Mistress Darqflame wrote:
So the real question here is, does it actually work?


Need to know 'cause my @#%^ is loose as @#%^.


My bad.


Edited, Sep 20th 2012 3:20pm by Darqflame


It's all right - it was good money.
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Thread title: People who suck.
Redyoshi wrote:
***ieatmice for eating mice.(lolz)
Annabella wrote:
I love Micey. She was full of so much win. Win and *****. Smiley: inlove
Barkingturtle wrote:
Ieatmice is a f*cking harbinger.
#17 Sep 20 2012 at 4:54 PM Rating: Good
PunkFloyd, King of Bards wrote:
Edited, Sep 20th 2012 3:20pm by Darqflame

Smiley: inlove
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#18 Sep 20 2012 at 7:57 PM Rating: Excellent
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Mistress Darqflame wrote:
So the real question here is, does it actually work?

I've got a cheaper solution for her. Just stuff a ham in it and yank out the bone!
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#19 Sep 20 2012 at 8:16 PM Rating: Excellent
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Mistress Darqflame wrote:
So the real question here is, does it actually work?

I've got a cheaper solution for her. Just stuff a ham in it and yank out the bone!
Screenshot


Screenshot
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#20 Sep 20 2012 at 9:11 PM Rating: Excellent
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Theres a reason I bring a sword to certain family reunions...
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#21 Oct 09 2012 at 4:39 PM Rating: Good
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It certainly puts your own family issues in perspective when you read about this stuff. I thought my mom was bad enough for constantly nagging me about finding a job and an apartment, but it sort of pales in comparison to you guys' stories.

Edited, Oct 10th 2012 12:42am by Mazra
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#22 Oct 09 2012 at 5:24 PM Rating: Good
the 1st comment to the youtube link. Game over. Sounds like you Mother has some envy issues.
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#23 Oct 11 2012 at 12:17 PM Rating: Good
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Uppercut.
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#24 Oct 12 2012 at 11:21 AM Rating: Good
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I'm not sure what's funnier, the Baliwood style commercial, or the fact that the voice-over chick pronounces it vuh-jeye-nul instead of va-jin-ull.
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#25 Oct 12 2012 at 5:24 PM Rating: Good
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OK SHUT UP I HAVE A QUESTION.

So, when you say "************ do you mean the American standard meaning of "angry," or are you using the strange foreign term meaning "drunk?" Because that **** makes all the difference sometimes.
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#26 Oct 12 2012 at 5:54 PM Rating: Good
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NixNot wrote:
OK SHUT UP I HAVE A QUESTION.

So, when you say "************ do you mean the American standard meaning of "angry," or are you using the strange foreign term meaning "drunk?" Because that sh*t makes all the difference sometimes.


You forgot to ask if it meant her mom was into watersports.
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#28 Oct 26 2012 at 4:35 AM Rating: Good
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I meant "************ as in drunk. Confusingly, since we speak the English language, "************ also means "angry" here. But really, for the purposes of my fake story, either meaning will do.
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