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Little HandsFollow

#1 Aug 30 2012 at 5:56 AM Rating: Excellent
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little hands beating on the door
little hands beating inside your skin
little hands beating to be seen
little mouth in silent scream
little mouth full of hay
little lungs full of cold
little clothes full of mould
little stomach full of air
little spiders in your hair
little body growing still
little life running out
little mind in full despair
little hands curled around
little heart that's gone out
little mind cracks and breaks
three days locked in a barn
that's all it takes
to break forever
a large man with vicious hands,
polymath mind
and sweet occluded heart.

Edited, Aug 30th 2012 7:58am by Aripyanfar
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#2 Aug 30 2012 at 7:07 AM Rating: Excellent
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That's a little bit much.
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#3 Aug 30 2012 at 8:23 AM Rating: Excellent
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#4 Aug 30 2012 at 2:18 PM Rating: Excellent
I thought this was a thread about BD.
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#5 Aug 31 2012 at 2:51 PM Rating: Good
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I thought this thread was about a little German boy who was afraid of horses because they have huge *****.
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#6 Aug 31 2012 at 3:01 PM Rating: Excellent
This is clearly Ari expressing some long passed trauma.

Let her have her day.

Dumbass.
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Allegory wrote:
Bijou your art is exceptionally creepy. It seems like their should be something menacing about it, yet no such tone is present.
#7 Aug 31 2012 at 8:38 PM Rating: Good
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See above.
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#8 Sep 01 2012 at 1:03 AM Rating: Excellent
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Five stars for insightfulness, you two. However I know exactly what this community is like in all it's variegated glory. If I wasn't prepared to have it ridiculed, trolled, joked about, or, worst of all... totally ignored, I wouldn't have put it up. Actually, I really liked the joke replies. Smiley: grin

But thank you for defending me, Bijou and Timelord. Smiley: inlove

I put up strong personal boundaries, and also made myself safe by putting up the poem I wrote about someone else, a guy who got locked in a barn for three days when he was a little boy, by his uncle. When his mother came back and found him, she had to take him to hospital because he was dying of hypothermia and dehydration. Amazingly, everyone who knows what I am going through just right now, has told me the poem is obviously about myself.

For the enlightenment of everyone else, I shall put up the far inferior poem I wrote about me:
It's amazing how much a really good conversation with your little sister can cheer you up
after you find out
you were raped when you were three.

Well, “raped” is an exaggeration.
But “sexually molested in some fashion for a period of up to three years” just isn't succinct.
And after all that's when the Dissociation started.
To take away him from me.

[If I want some really good jokes about gbaji, we'd better MOVE THREAD]
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#9 Sep 01 2012 at 3:21 AM Rating: Good
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Practice rape?

To clarify, it's not legitimate rape.

Edited, Sep 1st 2012 5:23am by Timelordwho
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#10 Sep 01 2012 at 3:43 AM Rating: Excellent
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I never realized that totally ignoring this was the worst, so I'm posting to say Hi Ari.
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#11 Sep 01 2012 at 5:02 AM Rating: Excellent
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Hi Sassy~! It's ok, you're allowed to say I write awful poetry. Smiley: grin

Timelordwho wrote:
Practice rape?

To clarify, it's not legitimate rape.

Of course it was legitimate rape, I had ways of rejecting conception!

Edited, Sep 1st 2012 7:09am by Aripyanfar
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#12 Sep 02 2012 at 11:57 AM Rating: Good
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I wanted to make a smart/witty comment but I clearly dont have it in me, so I'll just say hi.
#13 Sep 02 2012 at 6:15 PM Rating: Good
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Polymath... did not know that word existed until now. Thanks! Smiley: schooled

As for the poetry, I have no clue what good and bad poetry looks like. I'm more of a limerick kind of guy. Definitely need rhymes. Oh, and this:

He sits upon the coral strand,
so full of ale he cannot stand.
He's emptied the wreck
of its dark oak kegs,
carried them ashore on nerveless legs,
But he waves not at ships however near,
This old sailor won't share his beer.
- Robert Louis Hornblower
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#14 Sep 02 2012 at 6:23 PM Rating: Good
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I like it. Reminds me of "Bugs" by Pearl Jam.

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#15 Sep 02 2012 at 7:55 PM Rating: Good
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The blushin' bride, she looks divine
The bridegroom he is doin' fine
I'd rather have his job than mine
When I'm cleanin' windows

The chambermaids' sweet names I call
It's a wonder I don't fall
My mind's not on my work at all
When I'm cleanin' windows

I know a fella, such a swell
He has a thirst, that's plain to tell
I've seen him drink his bath as well
When I'm cleanin' windows
#16 Sep 02 2012 at 7:57 PM Rating: Excellent
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I could tell a poem about an iguana,
but right now I don't wanna.
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#17 Sep 02 2012 at 9:18 PM Rating: Good
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les
No Moore
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Allegory wrote:
Bijou your art is exceptionally creepy. It seems like their should be something menacing about it, yet no such tone is present.
#18 Sep 02 2012 at 9:26 PM Rating: Good
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Friar Bijou wrote:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les
No Moore


ITT: Bijou confesses to killing a "Mr. Lester Moore" through poetry (and maybe interpretive dance, but we can't see it).



(Bijou probably can't see it either Smiley: tongue)

Edited, Sep 2nd 2012 11:29pm by Shaowstrike
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#19 Sep 06 2012 at 10:08 AM Rating: Excellent
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I thought it was really good. I used to write a lot of poetry back in high school. I guess I'll share my personal favorite now.

cold rain, pouring down
turning the world around me
into a gray nothingness
that absorbs me without bounds
limitless deaths, endless pain
all for everything
or for nothing at all
we shall never know
dark clouds gathering
but not in the sky
they are inside of me
clouding my vision
and fogging my mind
to the point where
i can no longer think
or care enough to try
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#20 Sep 06 2012 at 2:32 PM Rating: Decent
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Bigdaddyjug wrote:
I thought it was really good. I used to write a lot of poetry back in high school. I guess I'll share my personal favorite now.

cold rain, pouring down
turning the world around me
into a gray nothingness
that absorbs me without bounds
limitless deaths, endless pain
all for everything
or for nothing at all
we shall never know
dark clouds gathering
but not in the sky
they are inside of me
clouding my vision
and fogging my mind
to the point where
i can no longer think
or care enough to try


Poetry is the one thing I could never grok. That **** just looks like one long run-on sentence broken into arbitrary lines to me.
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#21 Sep 06 2012 at 4:16 PM Rating: Good
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BrownDuck wrote:
Bigdaddyjug wrote:
I thought it was really good. I used to write a lot of poetry back in high school. I guess I'll share my personal favorite now.

cold rain, pouring down
turning the world around me
into a gray nothingness
that absorbs me without bounds
limitless deaths, endless pain
all for everything
or for nothing at all
we shall never know
dark clouds gathering
but not in the sky
they are inside of me
clouding my vision
and fogging my mind
to the point where
i can no longer think
or care enough to try


Poetry is the one thing I could never grok. That sh*t just looks like one long run-on sentence broken into arbitrary lines to me.


To an extent it is. However, if I was going to say that with prose it would take about half the time and use a lot less imagery.

Not to get all lecturey, but there are 2 main types of poetry, free verse and structured verse. That's not the official name, but I don't even know if it has one. Structured verse includes things like limericks, sonnets, or any type of poem that has a discernible meter and rhyming pattern. Free verse is the exact opposite. There is no discernible meter, it rarely rhymes, and it looks a lot like sombody "arbitrarily broke up a run on sentence".

When I was writing a lot of poetry, I wrote mostly free verse, but I do have some structured stuff. TBH, a lot of my structured stuff is terrible because of the constraints of structured verse.
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#22 Sep 06 2012 at 4:51 PM Rating: Good
All of my posts are in the style of free verse poetry.
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#23 Sep 06 2012 at 5:04 PM Rating: Excellent
PunkFloyd, King of Bards wrote:
All of my 
posts  
are in the style of  
free verse  
poetry

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Allegory wrote:
Bijou your art is exceptionally creepy. It seems like their should be something menacing about it, yet no such tone is present.
#24 Sep 06 2012 at 7:29 PM Rating: Good
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PunkFloyd, King of Bards wrote:
                       All of my 
     posts  
are in the style of  
                free verse  
poetry


If you're going to use the code tags, might as well make it stylish! Smiley: waycool
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#25 Sep 06 2012 at 7:31 PM Rating: Excellent
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this thread was 'jacked to post bad poems
o'er the likelyhood of nanognomes
Their existance denied, the theory then died
So the gnomes had to go find new homes!
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#26 Sep 06 2012 at 8:55 PM Rating: Excellent
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We'll begin with box; the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox is oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, and two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose is never called meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a house full of mice;
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
The plural of man is always men,
But the plural of pan is never pen.

If I speak of a foot, and you show me two feet,
And I give you a book, would a pair be a beek?
If one is a tooth, and a whole set is teeth,
Why shouldn't two booths be called beeth?

If the singular's this and the plural is these,
Should the plural of kiss be ever called keese?

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him;
But imagine the feminine ... she, shis, and shim!
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#27 Sep 08 2012 at 11:49 PM Rating: Decent
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