I though i drop in again. It's not that i expect any decent response or anything, just going on peoples nerve.
People just don't randomly become asses to others without a reason.
I think this is a bit the things. If you already had it crappy in one way or another (and people tend to be not that charming or thoughtful in general), eventually you give up .. on them (...) that's where i am basically lost tO se world. (I wish they would give up on me, but the literally torture me with gayish well meaning.. that goes a bit to far, but it is a bit like this, since i don't mind harshety at all. not in the least. It's SOO way better then being endlessly napped (or even napped endlessly).
(My english is not particularly great, please don't mind.)
Mh.. obviously i don't expect any help on a random gaming forum, so it's trollishingly overexaggerativeness what i am trying to do here.
It's actually a rant (which should be ovious). A rant about everything.
People i know for years basically dropped me for finding me too un self inscinating. i became sickish and lost contact to most, or held contact only sporadishly. (Obviously my parents were of less then no help all the time. They are rather childishly tring to get all the help they can muster themself, for themselves, because they are that kind of people. and try to get help for me to, as much as they can, so they have as much of that even for themselves. So, i can't count on my parents (my dad once said at the family dinner, while we were eating: 'If you have any problem, you need to find professional help. - That's how charming my dad is. Obviously i left the table and went home). That's why i relied on my friends instead, which i shouldn't have, but then i would have nobody to rely on, which is the case.)
So, when i recontacted some on somthing, i already was a bit grumpy. What i definitely want to see now, is, if anything happens, considering i'm flaming people since months. (With some valid reason, but that you obviously can't see from where you are, because you hardly know the people involved and my relationship to them.)
What i am curious about is, if people dislike people with schizophrenia (i guess a disgusted feel). So i can't blame anybody for that, can i?
If you have any questions about anything, i'm studying metaphysics (philosophy), am rather keen and got figured out a lot of things. (Obviously you'll rather hate that offer, but meh..) Still that doesn't mean i don't like exactly the same things, everybodey else does, which i'm suffering even more from (don't ask)
a) Who got any questions in the first place?
b) Who would think anybody might have more insight then themselves. (that's a cruel, torturing tendency i suffer from, but i already accepted that my life won't be any great at all. It's a blimey nightmare.)
*sings* 'just a question, not a curse, how could **** be any worse? (easily to envision)
atm it's jappiddidu, because i frankly don't and can't care about anybody whatsoever and consequently don't care about how i am to anybody plus i lost any confidence (actually i lost any confidence years ago, but i lost any confidence in 'my future'. What i am going to do, is study and see where this goes and try to figure out a bearable living. I'm not prone to do any harm to myself (more then doing harm to others still), but without seeing, where anything goes, i won't do anything whatsoever.
I know the pschosocial service, but hardly any psychiatrist is remotely as intelligent as i am. It's hard to be in relation to somebody comperatively dumb about something that sensitive. Psychiatrists know madness only second hand. They aren't surgeons, who can actually (and explicitly) see the damage. (and some already question surgery) Why not try to proof read the symptoms? ********** If they gave me their information, >I< actually might be able to help, but as long, as they see me as afflicted and don't produce the affliction, why would i talk, and/or listen to one? Edited, Mar 12th 2012 7:46pm by TheLizard