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#1 Feb 04 2012 at 7:35 PM Rating: Excellent
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You find yourself in a DARK TUNNEL, with nothing but a SWORD, a BOX OF MATCHES and a HAT FULL OF RABBITS in your INVENTORY. You do not know how you came to be here, or why these HATBOUND RABBITS are getting all up in your HARE.

You hear an OMINOUS SOUND behind you.

What do you do?
>...
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#2 Feb 04 2012 at 7:38 PM Rating: Good
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Strike a match.
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#3 Feb 04 2012 at 7:38 PM Rating: Decent
Pass gas.
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#4 Feb 04 2012 at 7:41 PM Rating: Decent
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>GO EAST
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#5 Feb 04 2012 at 7:53 PM Rating: Excellent
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Light rabbits on fire. Throw half towards the noise to divert it's attention, and the other half down the other end of the tunnel to light your path.
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"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
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#6 Feb 04 2012 at 8:28 PM Rating: Good
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You strike a MATCH, wincing at the sudden light. You can see a short distance, but the source of the noise is not apparent; you only see the stony, slimy walls of the tunnel. You pass wind for no reason.

You think about immolating the rabbits, but remember that they are HATBOUND. You don't want to throw away your only item of clothing. You might need it to cover yourself later on.

Instead, you decide to move EAST. You don't have a COMPASS, but you assume EAST is away from whatever's making the noise.

Your match goes out. The noise is gaining on you, even as you're moving.
>

Edited, Feb 5th 2012 2:30am by Kavekk
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#7 Feb 04 2012 at 8:34 PM Rating: Good
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Draw Sword and continue traveling, ready to defend yourself if necessary.
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IDrownFish wrote:
Anyways, you all are horrible, @#%^ed up people

lolgaxe wrote:
Never underestimate the healing power of a massive dong.
#8 Feb 04 2012 at 8:38 PM Rating: Excellent
@#%^
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Fap.
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#9 Feb 04 2012 at 8:49 PM Rating: Good
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You grab a 'SWORD' in each hand and keep moving, using the metal blade to feel out the walls. The sound behind you is gettting closer. It sounds like heavy footsteps.

You are discovering that you are aroused by danger.
>

Edited, Feb 5th 2012 3:13am by Kavekk
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#10 Feb 04 2012 at 9:07 PM Rating: Good
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Start running.
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#11 Feb 04 2012 at 9:07 PM Rating: Good
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> GO WEST
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#12 Feb 04 2012 at 9:22 PM Rating: Good
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Struck by a sudden suicidal urge, you reverse direction. Your SWORD cuts the CAVE AIR as you break into a SPEEDY RUN. You can feel the HATBOUND RABBITS hop about in agitation within the HAT FULL OF RABBITS.

You hear a terrible gurgle, and feel your SWORD cut through SOMETHING FLESHY before you trip and fall. Perhaps it would be a good idea to see what you just stabbed?

On the SLIMY FLOOR, you continue to **********.

Edited, Feb 5th 2012 3:24am by Kavekk
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“Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.”
#13 Feb 04 2012 at 9:28 PM Rating: Excellent
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No I will NOT help you solve TLW's riddles!
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#14 Feb 05 2012 at 12:06 AM Rating: Good
I fire a MAGIC MISSILE...






at the darkness.



Edited, Feb 5th 2012 2:26am by Bijou
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#15 Feb 05 2012 at 12:08 AM Rating: Excellent
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I have a complaint about the term "HATBOUND RABBITS", a term like that would be understood as that the rabbits would automatically return to the hat after being used. Anyway back to the game.

I get tired of the DARK TUNNEL and decide to take fate into my own hands. I open the game file in a text editor program and rewrite the scenario so that I'm now in a well-lit ***** HOUSE, with any room or facilities I may need. I have an INFINITE SUPPLY OF MONEY, FOOD, WATER, and CLEAN (physically/medically/STDically?) HOOKERS, where I will indulge my danger-*****'s desires until I die.

The hookers, in honor of my prowess (and the INFINITE SUPPLY OF MONEY I left behind) will throw an extravagant funeral for me, complete with a tombstone that reads "Here lies a generous man whose money was well spent. All the women came until he went." They would come back every year with my ******* offspring so they can give thanks for the comfortable lives they now live.

During this time my disembodied spirit would arrive at whatever afterlife it was destined to journey. The gatekeeper for the realm would determine that while my actions during the majority of my life were enough to qualify me for entrance, my decisions during the final stages of my life were just enough to negate it. Being unable to move on, the gatekeeper decides to let me start over with a new life. He restores my physical body, hands me some items he confirms will be needed for my journey back to life, wipes my past life from my memory, and directs me into a cave like structure nearby.

Halfway through the cave I trip, fall, and hit my head. When I wake up, I find myself in a DARK TUNNEL, with nothing but a SWORD, a BOX OF MATCHES and a HAT FULL OF RABBITS in my INVENTORY. I do not know how I came to be here, or why these HATBOUND RABBITS are getting all up in my HARE.

I hear an OMINOUS SOUND behind me.

What do I do?
>...



Edited, Feb 5th 2012 1:09am by Shaowstrike
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Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
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Cooking/Fishing 100


"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
#16 Feb 05 2012 at 8:52 AM Rating: Decent
You decide to walk without lighing the match to light your way. You walk into the arms of a slavering greu.


Edited, Feb 5th 2012 4:19pm by Tailmon
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. “Power even if it is raw uncontrolled potential is just as dangerous as a trained assassin. It is unpredictable and deadly if your are not prepared." ~Gatomon From the story A Fox Among Wolves.
#17 Feb 05 2012 at 3:46 PM Rating: Good
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Kavekk wrote:
Struck by a sudden suicidal urge, you reverse direction. Your SWORD cuts the CAVE AIR as you break into a SPEEDY RUN. You can feel the HATBOUND RABBITS hop about in agitation within the HAT FULL OF RABBITS.

You hear a terrible gurgle, and feel your SWORD cut through SOMETHING FLESHY before you trip and fall. Perhaps it would be a good idea to see what you just stabbed?

On the SLIMY FLOOR, you continue to **********.


Light another match, and continue to stab whatever it is if it's dangerous.
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#18 Feb 05 2012 at 5:01 PM Rating: Good
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>SWITCH HANDS
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#19 Feb 05 2012 at 5:29 PM Rating: Good
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You get up and strike a MATCH; unfortunately, as you've only got one HAND free, you have to juggle the LIT MATCH and the SWORD. Now and then you SWITCH HANDS to keep things interesting.

On the floor is SOMETHING FLESHY which is EXTREMELY DEAD. It looks harmless, epecially now you've murdered it. It's hard to tell past all the blood, but it seems to be an UNUSUALLY SIZEABLE MOLE CREATURE. You're lucky it wasn't a SLAVERING GRUE.

A SHINY OBJECT is visible around its neck.
>

Edited, Feb 5th 2012 11:30pm by Kavekk
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#20 Feb 05 2012 at 7:18 PM Rating: Excellent
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> LOOT ALL THE THINGS
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#21 Feb 05 2012 at 11:17 PM Rating: Good
is Happy on Friday!
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Take the shiny and clean it. Shinies shouldn't be covered in gore.
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Reiterpallasch wrote:
Glitterhands wrote:
Am I the only one who clicked on this thread expecting actual baby photos [of Jinte]? o.O

Except if it were baby photos, it would be like looking at before and afters of Michael Jackson. Only instead of turning into a white guy, he changes into a chick!
#22 Feb 06 2012 at 11:26 AM Rating: Excellent
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>STORE CORPSE IN HAT
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#23 Feb 06 2012 at 3:51 PM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
>STORE CORPSE IN HAT


See if the hat bound rabbits are hungry for flesh in the process.
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Thayos wrote:
I can't understand anyone who skips the cutscenes of a Final Fantasy game. That's like going to Texas and not getting barbecue.

FFXIV: Katarh Mest on Lamia - Member of The Swarm and leader of Grammarian Tea House chat LS
#24 Feb 06 2012 at 4:04 PM Rating: Decent
Loot the shiny object and then examine it.

Edited, Feb 6th 2012 5:04pm by Tailmon
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. “Power even if it is raw uncontrolled potential is just as dangerous as a trained assassin. It is unpredictable and deadly if your are not prepared." ~Gatomon From the story A Fox Among Wolves.
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