How young is too young...Follow

Well, it's a really complex system. Not all trans peoples actually fully identify with the opposite sex. Many of then don't ever actually attempt to fully transition from one the other, but are happy to stay somewhere in the middle. There are also gender-***** peoples, who might be markedly uncomfortable with their own gender.

One thing that is important to remember is that gender identities are largely a social construct. We live in a culture that arbitrarily limits the number of identities to two (which is what trans groups are attempting to change). Most Native American societies had 4 gender identities. In Samoa, there are (or at least used to be) at least 3. Etc. Someone who is rejecting a gender identity might not necessarily want the other one--they might be embracing it more because it is what they are left with.

Overall, I agree with the parents. Trying to force the identity on the child isn't going to make anyone happy. If they turn out that they want to stay a boy, then at least the child will remember that they made the choices that led to that. If they do continue to transition, their childhoods were a HELL of a lot better than the rest of the trans peoples I know.

There's no choice that is perfect for every eventuality. Hopefully, psychologists get better at predicting whether or not a child will ultimately want to transition. You don't need to start hormone treatments until they are 10 or so, I'd imagine.

I'm going to guess* that there's a high probability that a child that comes to this clinic will ultimately want to transition, at least partly.

What does worry me, however, is that a sexual transition will be too strongly put forward. We have a culture that really, REALLY cares about what they have in the pants. Honestly, that should be a completely personal choice on part of the child. A ton of transgenders never even seek gender reassignment surgery (though for many of them, it's because it's insanely expensive--requires over 2 years of therapy before hand, plus the surgery, and none of it is covered by insurance, iirc).

In any case, its commendable to actively seek to get your child into a positive atmosphere. Even if the kid mentioned in the OP decides not to transition, I'm guessing he'll be better off in this scenario than he would have been if they insisted on trying to force maleness on him.

I <3 brevity.

I'm not an expert on this *at all*, so take what I'm about to say with a huge grain of salt.

Without getting into specifics, I could have very very easily have been diagnosed* as a female-identifying male as a kid (and still have a few departures from what's considered normal for a guy my age), and I have a damaged pituitary gland from a very young age (2) that caused other hormone deficiencies, so it wouldn't even be unreasonable to consider the option of hormone therapy for someone like me.

That said, I would be super mega ultra pissed at my parents if they had put me in a female hormone therapy treatment program, especially at that young of an age. Despite what an outside observer may think, I am a male-identifying male, I like being male quite a bit, and am of the opinion that--no matter what society says--if I'm doing something, it's "manly" simply because I'm the one who's doing it; whether that's baking cupcakes, watching slice-of-life Anime, or playing online games, or whatever, because I am confident in myself and my identity. Likewise, any stereotypically male activity will be "womanly" (or the associated adjective of any other identities) should a woman decide to enjoy that activity.

Nothing is set in stone physically until the onset of puberty, so there shouldn't be a need to rush things (again, I'm not a doctor, medical professionals will trump my opinions here). Just make sure to love and support your kid, and use your best judgment. If you're really trying to look out for your kid, and not just trying to enforce what you want them to be, I don't think any kid who grew up in such an environment will look back and say their parents did wrong by them.

*I don't know if diagnosed is the right word, but just roll with it, I think it's clear what I mean from context

I'm going to say this because I know that happens. Most TG's start identifying with the other gender early. I
know that I was playing with girls things instead of guys from the start. I thought I was a girl back then. Then I learned I was a boy and of course my parents did all the stuff to try to stop me from my girl like tendencies. It was never effective. I dressed and still liked and identified with girls. Of course I did try all the guy stuff and did sports and even lettered in several but the girl in me never went away. Pretty much TG's are trapped in the wrong body. We are wired as the opposite gender. The change makes your body match your mind.

I've advised and helped many other girls start and make the change. I'll tell you if its done early enough its
much better for the person going through it and it's so much easier to be passable as a younger developing body reacts better with the hormones. The youngest I helped was aged 16 and her parents were very supportive. She's happy and totally passable in person. At the age in the story the child may develop as a complete woman and it may be the best for them.

One other reason for people to change is that many are born and like the story the parents make a choice to have a boy rather than a girl if they have both genders at birth. I know several girls that found out they were born female and changed to male. Just like most TG's they have issues and many change back later. I know several that did this also. It's one complex and volatile issue and many people do not understand it nor want to. Ignorant people are afraid of change and many TG's experience high rates of suicide and discrimination by others. That I'm experienced and know all to well about.

Had to rate up Tailmon for that.

(Mod up: Insightful.)

I totally didn't even know those existed Sweetums. Rate up for teaching me something new. :)

All the more reason to let the kid grow up a bit before subjecting them to therapy. Let them make up their own minds along the way IMO. The percentage of kids below age 5 who associate with the gender opposite their own sex is pretty high. But it's usually a passing phase and has more to do with realizing that the other gender is treated differently, or wears different clothes, or whatnot and thinking that being that other gender will be "better" in some way. I suspect that nearly all children go through something like that at some point, even if it's just an unrealistic jealous "grass is greener" thing.

Transgender changes are significant and come with some pretty serious social obstacles. The harm in waiting until someone is absolutely sure that's the life for them is (IMO) vastly less than that in convincing a young child who might not otherwise have pursued such a path that he/she is transgender. I just think that it's one of those things that you *really* need to be sure of, and I can't see how anyone could make that choice at age 3.

Eventually, sure. Doubtful at three. My daughter hates dresses with a fiery passion. I don't think it's because she identifies with being a boy, but because she recently learned what running is and her dresses get caught on things sending her sprawling.

I kind of feel like a bad father for finding it freakin' hilarious, but that's neither here or there.

I read it as him describing a phase that a lot of kids that age go through, not describing true transgender people.

I played with barbies at 3, my son played with dolls, dollhouses and cupcake kitchen sets. Doesn't mean I should turn him into a woman.

Uhhh, and you wouldn't be. Many transexual people actually criticize these strict gender roles because when THEY don't conform themselves, they have to go through this ******** song and dance to get the medical treatment they need.

You don't have to worry about homones until you're older. All a little boy needs to look like a little girl is basically a dress.

My point was that, if you are considering gender as being something they actively choose for any logical reason, you've already missed the point. No child has a conception of their gender at 3. Doesn't mean they aren't actually already conforming to one or the other (or neither).

Your gender identity is an psychological development, formed by your societal definitions of genders. You never consciously stop and really consider it or choose one.