As of this post, Nebraska is getting destroyed by Kansas by a score of 69-31. It's the third quarter.
The collapse of the sports team I have followed since I was born makes me want to extinguish cigarettes on my *****. I want to snip my nipples off with fingernail clippers. I want to yank my teeth out. I want to use a blow torch to cauterize my eyes shut so I don't have to watch. I want to hammer railroad spikes into my ears so I can't hear it.
Wint. Hold me.
So, is there anything similarly arbitrary that the rest of you get absolutely enraged about? I mean, I get physically ill over college football. It's not healthy. I want to punch a newborn.