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I'm a hypocriteFollow

#1 Nov 01 2007 at 6:06 AM Rating: Good
Okay, seriously. Obviously coming here says I've played online games. Obviously, since I am married to someone I've met online means I use it to socialize. But I think certain people are so ignorant about these sorts of things.

The autism board I go to had a post "Wii anyone?"

Quote:
I'm trying to get my son to be more social (like everyone else here:P)and would like to know if any of your kids' have a Wii with wi-fi connection. Maybe this would be a good way for more interaction, especially on a topic that he really likes...video games.


Obviously this isn't a big gamer mom (based the phrase "Wii with wi-fi connection" as if she thinks some Wii's DONT have a wi-fi connection). Anyways, I had to post and tell her I thought she was making a big mistake after like 5 people saying they thought it was a great idea. I had to bring up gaming addiction. And that social skills online don't translate well to real life situations. All the arguments that most kids will take to their parents as a reason to play basically, except the reverse since we all know online social skills are totally different from real life ones.

And to use that as a substitute for real life, all that's telling an autistic child is that they don't have to physically interact. What a terrible idea, I thought. So yeah. I feel like a hypocrite since I use online for my socializing since I don't get out much any more because of the boys.
#2 Nov 01 2007 at 6:11 AM Rating: Good
Its not a bad idea, if the child has difficulty socializing it can be a nice way for him to warm up to people but I do believe it is not a good substitute for going out and playing.

It should be closely monitored.
#3 Nov 01 2007 at 6:13 AM Rating: Excellent
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Nagah wrote:
So yeah. I feel like a hypocrite since I use online for my socializing since I don't get out much any more because of the boys.
On the other hand, if you're able to conduct yourself appropriately in public social situtations, it doesn't really matter if you go online as well, does it? It's only really a problem when your sole social skills are via keyboard.

I'm guessing you have both skills while this child has neither. "Real life" social skills are much more important than training him on an online crutch. I think that while the child may certainly enjoy the Wii, you're correct to say that hopes that it'll build up strong social skills are probably mistaken.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#4 Nov 01 2007 at 9:41 AM Rating: Good
Internet socialising > no socialising at all and can be used to ease him past whatever phase he's going through.
#5 Nov 01 2007 at 9:45 AM Rating: Good
Galkaman wrote:
Internet socialising > no socialising at all and can be used to ease him past whatever phase he's going through.


I will forgive you for this.

wiki wrote:
Individuals with AS experience difficulties in basic elements of social interaction, which may include a failure to develop friendships or enjoy spontaneous interests or achievements with others, a lack of social or emotional reciprocity, and impaired nonverbal behaviors such as eye contact, facial expression, posture, and gesture.


This isn't a phase. It's how the boy is.. It takes a lot of work to get a lot of people with autism to socialize. I will leave it at that.


You're probably right, Joph. It's totally different since I can function in the real world. But that seems like more of an excuse for some reason. Oh well...
#6 Nov 01 2007 at 9:45 AM Rating: Decent
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Wi-Fi or no, he wouldn't be socializing on the Wii, he'd be playing games. It's not like he'd be playing an MMO where you chat it up in guild/ls chat. He'd be laying the smackdown in Mario wrestling or something, no social interaction whatsoever involved in that.
#7 Nov 01 2007 at 9:54 AM Rating: Decent
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It is better then no socializing at all. All for the boy in that case.
#8 Nov 01 2007 at 9:59 AM Rating: Good
Nagah wrote:
Galkaman wrote:
Internet socialising > no socialising at all and can be used to ease him past whatever phase he's going through.


I will forgive you for this.

wiki wrote:
Individuals with AS experience difficulties in basic elements of social interaction, which may include a failure to develop friendships or enjoy spontaneous interests or achievements with others, a lack of social or emotional reciprocity, and impaired nonverbal behaviors such as eye contact, facial expression, posture, and gesture.


This isn't a phase. It's how the boy is.. It takes a lot of work to get a lot of people with autism to socialize. I will leave it at that.


You're probably right, Joph. It's totally different since I can function in the real world. But that seems like more of an excuse for some reason. Oh well...


Sorry, failed to completely comprehend the OP. Got like 3 hours sleep last night, and it's been a long day. Anyway, the point stands that socialising on the internet is better than not at all. It may be easier for him to find acceptance, which would boost his confidence with other IRL.
#9 Nov 01 2007 at 10:15 AM Rating: Excellent
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Darkenbuddy wrote:
It is better then no socializing at all.
Why does it have to be either or instead of his mother trying to find bona fide physical/social interaction for the boy? Saying "Well, it's better than nothing" is a cop-out.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#10 Nov 01 2007 at 10:16 AM Rating: Excellent
I think you should create an account for him here.

Edited, Nov 1st 2007 11:16am by Barkingturtle
#11 Nov 01 2007 at 10:17 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel has a good point. I think that it's a balance between finding activities that he can do with other kids and accepting him for who he is, but encouraging video game use--which is encouraged by society anyway, doesn't even seem like the role of a parent.
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Turin wrote:
Seriously, what the f*ck nature?
#12 Nov 01 2007 at 10:18 AM Rating: Good
Nagah wrote:
Obviously this isn't a big gamer mom (based the phrase "Wii with wi-fi connection" as if she thinks some Wii's DONT have a wi-fi connection).


I agree with your stance on gaming as a social tool (it's not that great), but I had to nitpick this statement because I haven't messed with anyone yet today. She could have been asking if anyone had a Wii with an internet connection. Just because the Wii has connectivity options, doesn't mean the owner has an internet connection that is compatible (not everyone has routers, or even broadband), and some people simply choose not to hook them up to the net anyway.
#13 Nov 01 2007 at 10:25 AM Rating: Good
StubsOnAsura the Shady wrote:
Nagah wrote:
Obviously this isn't a big gamer mom (based the phrase "Wii with wi-fi connection" as if she thinks some Wii's DONT have a wi-fi connection).


I agree with your stance on gaming as a social tool (it's not that great), but I had to nitpick this statement because I haven't messed with anyone yet today. She could have been asking if anyone had a Wii with an internet connection. Just because the Wii has connectivity options, doesn't mean the owner has an internet connection that is compatible (not everyone has routers, or even broadband), and some people simply choose not to hook them up to the net anyway.


I'd agree if a couple of posts after that she didn't also ask if she had to buy a separate WiFi connector.


I think the point is that using online as a way to gain social skills isn't exactly a good path to take. This does not promote physical interaction which is where the deficiency typically lies in people with Aspergers and Autism in general. I have met a few online who are AWESOME at written word, but to ask them to communicate in real life is akin to torture.

If this mother really wants her teenage son to gain social skills, there are other methods that are much better for him than plugging him into online game play.
#14 Nov 01 2007 at 10:26 AM Rating: Excellent
Nagah wrote:
there are other methods that are much better for him than plugging him into online game play.


Yeah, but there probably aren't an abundance of alternatives that require less of an effort from her.
#15 Nov 01 2007 at 10:29 AM Rating: Good
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Barkingturtle, some of us put money together in a pool to pay for that vasectomy you so desperately need.



Edited, Nov 1st 2007 2:30pm by Annabella
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Turin wrote:
Seriously, what the f*ck nature?
#16 Nov 01 2007 at 10:30 AM Rating: Good
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Lady Annabella wrote:
Barkingturtle, some of us put money together in a pool to pay for that vasectomy you so desperately need.



Edited, Nov 1st 2007 2:30pm by Annabella
As an added benefit, we won't have to worry about the creation of an unholy sheep-human hybrid.
#17 Nov 01 2007 at 10:33 AM Rating: Good
I don't think this thread is an appropriate place for me to brag on the quality of children my sperm will someday produce.

I'm too thoughtful for that.
#18 Nov 01 2007 at 10:35 AM Rating: Good
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Will they be begging for whiskey in their baby bottle or will they develop their addictions later, like in kindergarten?
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Turin wrote:
Seriously, what the f*ck nature?
#19 Nov 01 2007 at 10:35 AM Rating: Excellent
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sweetumssama wrote:
Lady Annabella wrote:
Barkingturtle, some of us put money together in a pool to pay for that vasectomy you so desperately need.



Edited, Nov 1st 2007 2:30pm by Annabella
As an added benefit, we won't have to worry about the creation of an unholy sheep-human hybrid.

Oh god no! It's too late!

Edited, Nov 1st 2007 2:36pm by fhrugby
#20 Nov 01 2007 at 10:38 AM Rating: Excellent
Lady Annabella wrote:
Will they be begging for whiskey in their baby bottle or will they develop their addictions later, like in kindergarten?


Pssh, my children will never have to beg.
#21 Nov 01 2007 at 10:55 AM Rating: Excellent
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Grandfather Barkingturtle wrote:
Yeah, but there probably aren't an abundance of alternatives that require less of an effort from her.
I can believe that her heart is in the right place. A medium which her son is attracted to and which "hides" his disability is certainly an attractive one. She probably just doesn't know how inadequate online communication can be for learning social skills.

It's better than nothing but so is throwing my kid Snickers bars rather than letting him starve to death. Both handle the immediate problem but neither is ultimately the best thing for the child.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#22 Nov 01 2007 at 11:01 AM Rating: Good
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Grandfather Barkingturtle wrote:
I think you should create an account for him here.
In case you missed it, manwithplanx has been around a while now.
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But in doing so I came across the will to disagree.
And I gave up. Yes, I gave up, and then I gave in.
But I take responsibility for every single sin. ♪ ♫


Thank god I stopped playing MMOs.
#23 Nov 01 2007 at 11:06 AM Rating: Good
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Zackary wrote:
Grandfather Barkingturtle wrote:
I think you should create an account for him here.
In case you missed it, manwithplanx has been around a while now.


Zing. Smiley: laugh
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#24 Nov 01 2007 at 11:12 AM Rating: Excellent
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Quote:
Why does it have to be either or instead of his mother trying to find bona fide physical/social interaction for the boy? Saying "Well, it's better than nothing" is a cop-out.

You're making an awfully big assumption here that this is her first resort rather than her last. If the kid's autistic, there's a good chance he'll never have normal social interactions, and she's probably been slapped in the face with that reality repeatedly since his birth. For someone like that, a bit of activity every day with something resembling other humans isn't such a bad thing to aim for.
#25 Nov 01 2007 at 11:14 AM Rating: Excellent
Jophiel wrote:
She probably just doesn't know how inadequate online communication can be for learning social skills.


That just strikes me as difficult to believe, unless she's just totally uneducated as to what the actual interaction would be like. I mean, the woman has an autistic child, so I assume she gets what that's all about, or has at least tried to educate herself. Even so, I agree that it would have to be an awfully compelling idea to any frustrated parent who just wants stop themself from drowning the kid.
#26 Nov 01 2007 at 11:17 AM Rating: Excellent
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Borkachev wrote:
You're making an awfully big assumption here that this is her first resort rather than her last.
I'm not making any assumptions about what she's tried. I'm saying that "This is better than nothing" is a weak defense for online interaction in lieu of physical interaction.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
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