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Trick or Treat [Poll]Follow

#1 Oct 29 2007 at 3:00 AM Rating: Excellent
How much candy do you hand out?
1 Fun Size Bar per kid:6 (10.2%)
2 Fun Size Bars per kid:17 (28.8%)
3 Fun Size Bars per kid:9 (15.3%)
Handful of smaller treats:15 (25.4%)
Popcorn Ball/10¢ roll of pennies (Fuck you):12 (20.3%)
Total:59



This will be the first Halloween in our new house and for once we are actually in a neighborhood and are expecting a tons of trick or treaters. I don't remember what I got as a kid so I ask you, the OoT for help. I don't want to be that house that hands out junk treats and gets egged.

Also ladies, feel free to post your Sexy <________> Costumes.
#2 Oct 29 2007 at 3:08 AM Rating: Default
His Excellency Soracloud wrote:
This will be the first Halloween in our new house and for once we are actually in a neighborhood and are expecting a tons of trick or treaters. I don't remember what I got as a kid so I ask you, the OoT for help. I don't want to be that house that hands out junk treats and gets egged.

Also ladies, feel free to post your Sexy <________> Costumes.


Any of the above + razorblades?

In all seriousness, the best way to avoid being egged, as it is irrelevant what kinda candy you hand out, is to have the wifey handing out candy while you sit in the bushes with a hose.. Or rifle.

Blanks aren't as fun, but prevent calls from law-enforcement.
#3 Oct 29 2007 at 3:09 AM Rating: Excellent
I usually do 2 or 3 funsizes or a handful of smallers.
#4 Oct 29 2007 at 3:12 AM Rating: Excellent
I love how "Fun Size" is just a nice way of saying "Small Size".

What's "fun" about a tiny Mars Bar? Do they call homeless shelters "Fun Size Houses"? Are criminals sent to a Fun Size Cell? Do people feel better for thinking their partner has a Fun Size *****? Does it connect with their Fun Size brain?

Seriously, it's Orwellian.

As for the OP, when we get kids ringing doorbells in the UK, we just call the police.

And tell them to get off the lawn Smiley: motz
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#5 Oct 29 2007 at 3:20 AM Rating: Decent
Monsieur RedPhoenixxx wrote:
I love how "Fun Size" is just a nice way of saying "Small Size".

What's "fun" about a tiny Mars Bar? Do they call homeless shelters "Fun Size Houses"? Are criminals sent to a Fun Size Cell? Do people feel better for thinking their partner has a Fun Size *****? Does it connect with their Fun Size brain?

Seriously, it's Orwellian.

As for the OP, when we get kids ringing doorbells in the UK, we just call the police.

And tell them to get off the lawn Smiley: motz


That's because the UK is full of sissies and cricket.

Kick them off your own damn lawn. They're more scared of civilians with guns than cops. I guarantee you that much. Every year I run like a ***** when BT comes outside (I'm still stalking you :lust:) but Usagi just sits on hold for 911 and weeps until I wander off.
#6 Oct 29 2007 at 3:43 AM Rating: Excellent
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I usually start with 1 or 2, then when I realize that not that many kids are coming by I start stuffing their bags full because I don't want the crap in my house come the next day. I'll eat it all.
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#7 Oct 29 2007 at 3:48 AM Rating: Decent
Monsieur RedPhoenixxx wrote:
I love how "Fun Size" is just a nice way of saying "Small Size".

What's "fun" about a tiny Mars Bar? Do they call homeless shelters "Fun Size Houses"? Are criminals sent to a Fun Size Cell? Do people feel better for thinking their partner has a Fun Size *****? Does it connect with their Fun Size brain?


i've always wondered that. it'd be much more fun to have normal sized candy.
#8 Oct 29 2007 at 3:49 AM Rating: Good
I just answer the door naked trying to give them some candy and they all run off screaming...Smiley: frown
#9 Oct 29 2007 at 3:50 AM Rating: Decent
LordDhaemon wrote:
Monsieur RedPhoenixxx wrote:
I love how "Fun Size" is just a nice way of saying "Small Size".

What's "fun" about a tiny Mars Bar? Do they call homeless shelters "Fun Size Houses"? Are criminals sent to a Fun Size Cell? Do people feel better for thinking their partner has a Fun Size *****? Does it connect with their Fun Size brain?

Seriously, it's Orwellian.

As for the OP, when we get kids ringing doorbells in the UK, we just call the police.

And tell them to get off the lawn Smiley: motz


That's because the UK is full of sissies and cricket.

Kick them off your own damn lawn. They're more scared of civilians with guns than cops. I guarantee you that much. Every year I run like a ***** when BT comes outside (I'm still stalking you :lust:) but Usagi just sits on hold for 911 and weeps until I wander off.


In the UK? Smiley: dubious There's not a fraction of the gun crime here as there is in America.
#10 Oct 29 2007 at 3:51 AM Rating: Default
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where's the "I don't hand out candy"?

only people that ever come to my door on halloween are high school kids looking for some free candy(they don't even wear costumes!)
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Reiterpallasch wrote:
Glitterhands wrote:
Am I the only one who clicked on this thread expecting actual baby photos [of Jinte]? o.O

Except if it were baby photos, it would be like looking at before and afters of Michael Jackson. Only instead of turning into a white guy, he changes into a chick!
#11 Oct 29 2007 at 3:52 AM Rating: Excellent
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CH.com wrote:
Where to go, and what to expect when you get there:

A. Shady Ponds Senior Community
- Werther’s
- Raisins
- Pennies
- Grapes that hold the distant promise of one day being raisins
- Obsolete candy from the '50s, i.e. Yessuhâ„¢ brand Darkies
- Husband’s ashes

B. Overenthusiastic A-Hole Lane
- Man who hides in bushes, waiting to pounce (rumored Vietnam vet)
- Self-proclaimed defender of the Halloween Spirit who refuses to give candy to kids without costumes, doesn’t count “Pillowcase Face”
- Man who dresses up as something inappropriately horrifying (past costumes include Late Stage Pancreatic Cancer Victim and Neo-****)

C. Desperate To Be A Cool Dad Street
- Unguarded basket filled with King Size Snickers, marked “Take One Only Please”
- Guilt
- Two King Size Snickers bars crudely taped together and marked “Emperor Size” (this is the ultimate house, unless you really like steak)
- Steak. Succulent, freshly-grilled slabs of USDA Grade-A marinated London Broil
- Candy Cigarettes

D. Mom Told Us Not To Go Here Alley
- Real Cigarettes
- Cans of spray paint and keys to his ex-wife’s house
- Just about anything in exchange for a bottle of Jim Beam – living room chairs, light fixtures, credit cards. Note: Make sure you bring a bottle of Jim Beam
- Unguarded basket filled with unsheathed razorblades, marked “Take As Many As You Want”
- An actual axe murderer. Dangerous, but he gives out King Size Zagnuts (your call)

E. The Dentist
- Unprecedented amounts of candy
- His business card

F. The Guy Who Pretends Not To Be Home
- An unspoken agreement that his house will be toilet papered

G. The Inventor of Runts
- Apology


Pick a stereotype. Be it.
#12 Oct 29 2007 at 3:52 AM Rating: Decent
Galkaman wrote:
In the UK? Smiley: dubious There's not a fraction of the gun crime here as there is in America.


Fair enough, but I'm not saying to actually hurt anyone, just spook'em. (I'm Canadian, the gun crimes here are almost as low.) We're just more redneck.
#13 Oct 29 2007 at 3:53 AM Rating: Good
Galkaman wrote:
In the UK? Smiley: dubious There's not a fraction of the gun crime here as there is in America.


And all of the UK gun-crime is done by under-18s anyway.

Under 16s, if you go to Scotland.
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#14 Oct 29 2007 at 3:59 AM Rating: Good
Hahahaha well since under 18s haven't been allowed to buy eggs or flour during the halloween period for the last couple of years, I haven't had any problems telling kids to gtfo my driveway.
#15 Oct 29 2007 at 4:06 AM Rating: Excellent
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Monsieur RedPhoenixxx wrote:
And all of the UK gun-crime is done by under-18s anyway.

Under 16s, if you go to Scotland.


That's only because by 18, they realize how much more personal they can make it by using a knife. Fucking wussies are all we got over here in NA.
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#16 Oct 29 2007 at 4:06 AM Rating: Decent
Quote:
well since under 18s haven't been allowed to buy eggs or flour during the halloween period for the last couple of years


Well that's only fair.

Everyone knows flour and eggs are gateway products. You start with a bit of self-raising flour, and next thing you know you're chucking molotov cocktails at the Danish Embassy in Karachi.
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#17 Oct 29 2007 at 4:07 AM Rating: Default
Full Candy Bars, we don't get many kids coming through our neighboorhood.
#18 Oct 29 2007 at 4:12 AM Rating: Decent
Monsieur RedPhoenixxx wrote:
Quote:
well since under 18s haven't been allowed to buy eggs or flour during the halloween period for the last couple of years


Well that's only fair.

Everyone knows flour and eggs are gateway products. You start with a bit of self-raising flour, and next thing you know you're chucking molotov cocktails at the Danish Embassy in Karachi.
Yea and usually if they do show a box of eggs when I say sorry no sweets mate, I can usually snatch it off them and lob it over the road before they know what's goin on.

Which is always hilarious because the chavvy little cnuts start whining and telling me if I don't go get them another box of eggs they are gonna stab me.

At which point I just laugh REALLY REALLY REALLY loudly in their faces, and shut the door.
#19 Oct 29 2007 at 4:34 AM Rating: Decent
This year It's going to be none. Broke and moving.
It will be the first year I haven't handed out any candy.
#20 Oct 29 2007 at 5:21 AM Rating: Good
Smaller kids (<6 yrs) - 1 small candy bar or 4 smaller treats (smarties, dum dums)
Regular kids (6-12 yrs) - 2 small candy bars or 5-6 smaller treats
Teens (>13 yrs) - 1 small candy bar or 5-6 smaller treats

Teens are doing it for the candy, so they'll stop coming by if they realize you're not going to give them ****. Smaller kids will never eat all the candy. And the holiday is really about the actual kids.

And the way to make sure you do this, you can go buy some cheap baggies to put the candy in. Fill it up and keep it in separate containers so you know who you're handing to. That way they also don't know how much you jipped them. They're not going to know who all gave them the baggies when they go home and rip into them.
#21 Oct 29 2007 at 5:32 AM Rating: Decent
Nagah wrote:
Smaller kids (<6 yrs) - 1 small candy bar or 4 smaller treats (smarties, dum dums)
Regular kids (6-12 yrs) - 2 small candy bars or 5-6 smaller treats
Teens (>13 yrs) - 1 small candy bar or 5-6 smaller treats

Teens are doing it for the candy, so they'll stop coming by if they realize you're not going to give them sh*t. Smaller kids will never eat all the candy. And the holiday is really about the actual kids.

And the way to make sure you do this, you can go buy some cheap baggies to put the candy in. Fill it up and keep it in separate containers so you know who you're handing to. That way they also don't know how much you jipped them. They're not going to know who all gave them the baggies when they go home and rip into them.
You are a wonderful human being.
#22 Oct 29 2007 at 5:35 AM Rating: Good
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Nagah wrote:
Smaller kids (<6 yrs) - 1 small candy bar or 4 smaller treats (smarties, dum dums)


I don't think this word means what you think it means
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#23 Oct 29 2007 at 5:37 AM Rating: Good
Smarties were fuCking awesome untill they took out all the E-numbers.

Now they taste weird.

Now there isn't even any blue ones. [:ashamedofnestle:]

Edited, Oct 29th 2007 9:38am by remorajunbao
#24 Oct 29 2007 at 5:39 AM Rating: Good
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
Nagah wrote:
Smaller kids (<6 yrs) - 1 small candy bar or 4 smaller treats (smarties, dum dums)


I don't think this word means what you think it means


lolSmiley: canada
#25 Oct 29 2007 at 5:39 AM Rating: Good
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
Nagah wrote:
Smaller kids (<6 yrs) - 1 small candy bar or 4 smaller treats (smarties, dum dums)


I don't think this word means what you think it means


Nor this one
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#26 Oct 29 2007 at 5:39 AM Rating: Decent
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Just don't give out those black and orange 'peanut butter' candies.
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