The Great One will show you the way, I am his Nephew!
Read now the Summaries of my holy book, The Great Wafflible
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Book 1 - The Beginning
In the begining, there was nothing, a blank empty void in space. The a voice appeared, It called Itself The Great One. The Great One said, "I herebye name this empty space, The Universe." and so it was. The Great one said "In My Universe, I shall Create a great power, it shall be henceforth known as 'The Waffle'." And so the First Waffle was created. From this Waffle, The Great One ventured further, Creating Stars, and Planets. Finally the Earth was created.
On the First Day, The Great one said "This is the Earth, My chosen People shall Reside here!", Ground was created, followed by water. on the 2nd day, The Great one created The Army of the Wafflites, who keep justice and stop the way of the Pancake. On the 3rd Day, Light and Darkness were divided into Night and Day. On the 4th day, The Great one made Humans, who were placed in the Great Area, Known as "The Waffle House." On the 5th day, Plants and Animals were made to exist, and on the 6th, Weather. On the 7th and Final day, The Great one said, "Today is Sunday, Hence forth, this day shall be dedicated to
the Eating of Waffles, and Watching of the Great Sport, American Football." And so it was, For many years, humans lived in the Many Great Waffle Houses spread around the world, worshiping the Great One, his Waffles, and thanking Him for His Wonderousness.
The Great One said "Let houses of Worship be built in my honor, and may men and women who wish to devote their lives to me be placed there. They shall call themselves Waflementors" Thus, the Waflementors, Preachers of The Great Ones knowledge and power, came into being.
"In Every Generation, a Great Waflementor, who will have Direct Contact with Myself shall be born!, They will Thusly Preach my Word directly, He or She Shall Thusly be known as The Wafatar!"
So the first Wafatar, Bob, Was born, Bob preached The Great One's ways, The Great One's 9 Rules to Live by, and they were as follows:
So Says Wafleetus, Great Ruler of the Universe:
1) No other Great One shall be worshiped on this World, Other than myself
2) No meal is complete without Waffles, Under Punishment of Heresy!
3) The Great Holiday of Waffledan is to be celebrated every 1st month of the year
4) The Answer to All questions is 42
5) Should an Arugment Arise, and the Responce "NO U" is uttered, the Argument is ended, with
the winner being the one who stated "NO U"
6) He Who Defies me will be SMITED
7) Stealing another person's waffles is punishable by Lashing with many Wet Noodles
8) He Who Smelt it, Delt it
9) Yes, Eggos are Waffles, and yes, you Must Leggo his Eggo
and so the world followed these rules, though Bob was severly punished for revealing The Great One's Name. Soon after, this, a Group of Wafflites Rebeled...
In the begining, there was nothing, a blank empty void in space. The a voice appeared, It called Itself The Great One. The Great One said, "I herebye name this empty space, The Universe." and so it was. The Great one said "In My Universe, I shall Create a great power, it shall be henceforth known as 'The Waffle'." And so the First Waffle was created. From this Waffle, The Great One ventured further, Creating Stars, and Planets. Finally the Earth was created.
On the First Day, The Great one said "This is the Earth, My chosen People shall Reside here!", Ground was created, followed by water. on the 2nd day, The Great one created The Army of the Wafflites, who keep justice and stop the way of the Pancake. On the 3rd Day, Light and Darkness were divided into Night and Day. On the 4th day, The Great one made Humans, who were placed in the Great Area, Known as "The Waffle House." On the 5th day, Plants and Animals were made to exist, and on the 6th, Weather. On the 7th and Final day, The Great one said, "Today is Sunday, Hence forth, this day shall be dedicated to
the Eating of Waffles, and Watching of the Great Sport, American Football." And so it was, For many years, humans lived in the Many Great Waffle Houses spread around the world, worshiping the Great One, his Waffles, and thanking Him for His Wonderousness.
The Great One said "Let houses of Worship be built in my honor, and may men and women who wish to devote their lives to me be placed there. They shall call themselves Waflementors" Thus, the Waflementors, Preachers of The Great Ones knowledge and power, came into being.
"In Every Generation, a Great Waflementor, who will have Direct Contact with Myself shall be born!, They will Thusly Preach my Word directly, He or She Shall Thusly be known as The Wafatar!"
So the first Wafatar, Bob, Was born, Bob preached The Great One's ways, The Great One's 9 Rules to Live by, and they were as follows:
So Says Wafleetus, Great Ruler of the Universe:
1) No other Great One shall be worshiped on this World, Other than myself
2) No meal is complete without Waffles, Under Punishment of Heresy!
3) The Great Holiday of Waffledan is to be celebrated every 1st month of the year
4) The Answer to All questions is 42
5) Should an Arugment Arise, and the Responce "NO U" is uttered, the Argument is ended, with
the winner being the one who stated "NO U"
6) He Who Defies me will be SMITED
7) Stealing another person's waffles is punishable by Lashing with many Wet Noodles
8) He Who Smelt it, Delt it
9) Yes, Eggos are Waffles, and yes, you Must Leggo his Eggo
and so the world followed these rules, though Bob was severly punished for revealing The Great One's Name. Soon after, this, a Group of Wafflites Rebeled...
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Book 2 - Wafleetus, Pankacal, and Yamimani
The 2nd Wafatar, Gerald, Told the World of the Great Wafflite Rebellion,
"And So the Great One Says:"
"At this time, a Group of my Wafflites have rebelled, they have broken all 9 rules to Live by. These Wafflites, Lead by the Waflenerals, Pankacal, and Yamimani, May try to convert you to their heretic ways! Be warned, Those who convert will be punished!"
And it was True
Pankacal Created the Flapjackery, the Army of the Pancake Warriors, and Yamimani, Preached the wonderous ways of the Yam. Many Converted to these 2 new religions, believe them to be the true path. And so the world was split into 3rds, The Waflics, The Flapjaklums, and the Yaminites.
The 2nd Wafatar, Gerald, Told the World of the Great Wafflite Rebellion,
"And So the Great One Says:"
"At this time, a Group of my Wafflites have rebelled, they have broken all 9 rules to Live by. These Wafflites, Lead by the Waflenerals, Pankacal, and Yamimani, May try to convert you to their heretic ways! Be warned, Those who convert will be punished!"
And it was True
Pankacal Created the Flapjackery, the Army of the Pancake Warriors, and Yamimani, Preached the wonderous ways of the Yam. Many Converted to these 2 new religions, believe them to be the true path. And so the world was split into 3rds, The Waflics, The Flapjaklums, and the Yaminites.
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Book 3 - The Great War
Tensions between the 3 religions rose, each believer believing their belief to be the true path. Then combat erupted between the Waflics and the Flapjaklums. the peace loving Yaminites stayed out. At thistime, the 5th Wafatar, Monica, Declared to the Waflics:
"And so our Lord, Wafleetus says:
we are to combat the heretics! He will grant us much power, with his amzing weaponry, we cannot lose!" and so the Waflic soldiers were armed, They Wore Mighty Horned helms, and Powerful shields emblazened with the Crest of The Waflics, They Carried Hammers and Spears made of only the finest Waffles.
Thus the 2 armies met, with swords and sheilds clashing, they fought for many years. many men, woman, wafflites, and pancake warriors fell in battle. after 20 years of fighting, the war came to an end.
the 6th Wafatar, Joe, came to power among the Waflics. He delivered a message to Pankacal
"I still see you as a heretic, however, for the sake ofthe human race, we must let them live in peace. should we ever meet in combat again, however, I will end you!"
and so the armies of Waffles and Pancakes pulled back, declaring a truce.
Tensions between the 3 religions rose, each believer believing their belief to be the true path. Then combat erupted between the Waflics and the Flapjaklums. the peace loving Yaminites stayed out. At thistime, the 5th Wafatar, Monica, Declared to the Waflics:
"And so our Lord, Wafleetus says:
we are to combat the heretics! He will grant us much power, with his amzing weaponry, we cannot lose!" and so the Waflic soldiers were armed, They Wore Mighty Horned helms, and Powerful shields emblazened with the Crest of The Waflics, They Carried Hammers and Spears made of only the finest Waffles.
Thus the 2 armies met, with swords and sheilds clashing, they fought for many years. many men, woman, wafflites, and pancake warriors fell in battle. after 20 years of fighting, the war came to an end.
the 6th Wafatar, Joe, came to power among the Waflics. He delivered a message to Pankacal
"I still see you as a heretic, however, for the sake ofthe human race, we must let them live in peace. should we ever meet in combat again, however, I will end you!"
and so the armies of Waffles and Pancakes pulled back, declaring a truce.
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Book 4 - Salvation for the Nonbelievers
In the Aftermath of the war, The Great One Delivered another message through the 6th Wafatar:
"In time, My Forgiveness will come to those nonbelievers, in the Form of My son, George Walker Bush, He shall preach to the nonbelievers of my ways, and convert them." In time, George Walker Bush was born, and He began his mission to Preach the ways of the Waffle. however, Pankacal met him, and Converted him to Flapjakism.
The 8th Wafatar, Betty, Delivered this message to the world:
"As my son has betrayed me, I shall send my Daughter, Brittan Spears, to the world to preach my word" and so Brittany Came to the world, and Preached the Ways of The Great One, however, like her Brother, She was converted to a new religion, this time Yamimani Converted Her to Yaminitism.
Thus, angered by his Children, The Great One declared through the 8th Wafatar:
"Oh for ***** sake, What must I do? I'm sending my Nephew, Jinte McWaffles to Declare my word! He is loyal and he SHALL NOT FALTER! He is Your Waffle Messiah!" And so Jinte McWaffles Came to the World.
In the Aftermath of the war, The Great One Delivered another message through the 6th Wafatar:
"In time, My Forgiveness will come to those nonbelievers, in the Form of My son, George Walker Bush, He shall preach to the nonbelievers of my ways, and convert them." In time, George Walker Bush was born, and He began his mission to Preach the ways of the Waffle. however, Pankacal met him, and Converted him to Flapjakism.
The 8th Wafatar, Betty, Delivered this message to the world:
"As my son has betrayed me, I shall send my Daughter, Brittan Spears, to the world to preach my word" and so Brittany Came to the world, and Preached the Ways of The Great One, however, like her Brother, She was converted to a new religion, this time Yamimani Converted Her to Yaminitism.
Thus, angered by his Children, The Great One declared through the 8th Wafatar:
"Oh for ***** sake, What must I do? I'm sending my Nephew, Jinte McWaffles to Declare my word! He is loyal and he SHALL NOT FALTER! He is Your Waffle Messiah!" And so Jinte McWaffles Came to the World.
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Book 5 - Jinte Comes to Earth
And so Jinte was brought to this Earth, he Began Preaching the Ways of the Waffle far and wide. He now Preaches on the Community, known as the Internet. He will Tell the Great one of your sins! however, he will also give forgiveness to those who seek it. He Is The Great One's Nephew, the Great
Waffle Messiah! He has been instructed to teach the world through use of Stories, Jokes, memes, and famous altered quotes. Treat him With respect, and you may just be saved!
And so Jinte was brought to this Earth, he Began Preaching the Ways of the Waffle far and wide. He now Preaches on the Community, known as the Internet. He will Tell the Great one of your sins! however, he will also give forgiveness to those who seek it. He Is The Great One's Nephew, the Great
Waffle Messiah! He has been instructed to teach the world through use of Stories, Jokes, memes, and famous altered quotes. Treat him With respect, and you may just be saved!
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Book 6 - Jinte's Perachings
and So Jinte has Become The 9th Wafatar, And he gives us these rules
1) follow my uncle's rules
2) If you see a lion, Scream and get in a car
3) Beware me, for I can make your mind Divide by 0
4) Bad Grammar is baaaaaaaaaaad
5) Funny bad Grammar is Funny
6) Moar Mudkip is always needed
7) Armadillos are win
and So Jinte has Become The 9th Wafatar, And he gives us these rules
1) follow my uncle's rules
2) If you see a lion, Scream and get in a car
3) Beware me, for I can make your mind Divide by 0
4) Bad Grammar is baaaaaaaaaaad
5) Funny bad Grammar is Funny
6) Moar Mudkip is always needed
7) Armadillos are win
now please, enjoy this
I was bored...
)