The simple thingsFollow

Ever have one of those moments where something incredibly simple makes you laugh and for a split second, forget about the pile of crap that is the rest of the day? I've had two recently.

1. Yesterday, while driving to Best Buy, I pulled up to a stop light behind a truck, apparently for a company that makes porcelain thrones. Their slogan was staring me in the face from the tailgate of his truck: "We're #1 in the #2 business.". I laughed the rest of the way to Best Buy.

2. Today, I was searching for an email from my boss, Randy. The email had something to do with a promotion we worked on for a St. Louis Rams thingamajig. So I searched for "randy rams". Only later when I took a look at the search history did I read it as looking for "horny male sheep". Slight chuckle, but still.

Today, I found myself very happy that someones' house is on fire, because it means that the Fire Department can't come to my work to show us how to use fire extinguishers(everyone knows you pull the pin, throw it into the fire, and shoot it ), which means I don't have to go to a meeting today.

Because pulling the pin releases the Nitroglycerin. Christ, Stubs.. read a science book every now and then.

Opening up the newsgroup and finding this



Zebu is a 5yr old African boy, with 1 arm and 1 leg.

Every day he has to cycle 25 miles to school and back
on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes.

For a small donation of just £2, we will send you the video.......

Its hilarious!

We got a huge shipment in of OE (Olde English 40oz Malt Liquor) Calendars recently. These were a nationwide release and I noticed something funny printed on the front and back this morning;




cal·en·der (kăl'ən-dər)
n.

A machine in which paper or cloth is made smooth and glossy by being pressed through rollers.



cal·en·dar (kăl'ən-dər)
n.

Any of various systems of reckoning time in which the beginning, length, and divisions of a year are defined.



No one else has noticed it yet.

I thought I was stupid for a minute, so I looked it up. and this here article says nothing about the pin doing anything other than being a safety pin to lock the release lever.

So, was your post sarcasm, or am I missing something? Cuz I hate being clueless.

I had a hillbilly farmer come in and try to explain to my boss and me (jewelers of 30 and 5 years respectively) where platinum comes from.


According to him it's only found as an impurity in gold, which is not only why it's so rare but also why gold is so heavy. We got onto that subject because "he works in the electricity business and uses a lot of 24 & 28 karat gold."
(fyi, there is no such thing as 28 karat gold. The karat system is based on % of pure gold in a gold alloy - 12k = 50%, 18k = 75%, 24k = 100%... 28k = wtf?!?)


He then went on to ramble about a couple other stories - one which included killing a rattle snake in 4 seconds by spitting chewing tobacco into its mouth and another that included his navy buddy who got so sea sick, that he could tell when the ship was casting off while inside a sound proof room.


We joked about 28k gold and how much platinum impurities one could extract from it for the rest of the day - of course in a stuttering southern accent like Boomhower on king of the hill.

Ignorant people aren't that funny on their own, after all, nobody knows everything.
It's when they try to impress someone by acting smart, when they're clearly clueless, that I can't stop laughing.

Took a picture

I said the same thing.

Because they can't spell for shit

I laugh at safety warning icons on the machines we have at work.



I can't find a "Do Not Tilt!" Warning quick enough though. The one where the little stick man is falling over with a large rectangle toppling over onto him.

It's because fires are like lasers...they get reflected by shiny surfaces.

Its all fun and games until someone puts an eye out.