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Very proud to be British because...Follow

#1 Aug 30 2004 at 8:56 PM Rating: Good
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Very proud to be British because...

Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and put our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain... do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight.

Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

101 British people since 1999 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit a cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

and finally.........

In 2000, eight Brits cracked their skulls whilst throwing up into the toilet
#2 Aug 30 2004 at 9:29 PM Rating: Decent
This sounds awfully like the Only in America one......

I'm watching you...........
#3 Aug 30 2004 at 11:18 PM Rating: Decent
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746 posts
Quote:
Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and put our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain... do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight.

Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.


These all apply to America as well, at least in my ****** little town.
#4 Aug 30 2004 at 11:22 PM Rating: Decent
Quote:
Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.



Ever heard of diabetes?
#5 Aug 31 2004 at 12:06 AM Rating: Decent
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30,086 posts
Only in Britain is it impossible to tell which men are Gay and which ones are pretending to be straight.

Only in Britain is it required at all times that there is a popular transvestite comic.

Only in Britain does 100 people, 200 hounds, and 90 horses chasing a single fox, often unsecessfully qualify as a good time for reich folks.

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#6 Aug 31 2004 at 7:19 AM Rating: Decent
You have just changed Americans to Brits! Were on to you!
#7 Aug 31 2004 at 9:24 AM Rating: Good
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Actually this was e-mailed to me, thought I would put it up here.

Kinda like Katie did with the 'why were at war' thing, except this isn't some patriotic drivel.
#8 Aug 31 2004 at 1:50 PM Rating: Decent
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1,150 posts
Ok..I've lived here over a year now, and I have a few burning questions that maybe you can help me out with:

How in the hell do working class guys manage to sit in pubs every single night paying 2-3 quid a pint? Are they basically working to drink or what? It amazes me.

Why in the hell does the council pay for a trashman to walk around and pile up garbage an hour before the garbage truck picks it up? Maybe this is just in my area, but it seems like a real pointless thing to do. My first week here, I walked outside my house, and saw all this garbage piled up in front of my driveway. I got really pissed, and thought somebody was playing a joke on the new guy. So I picked it up and started throwing it back in all the neighbors yards until one lady ran out and explained it to me. One of the funniest conversations ever.

#9 Aug 31 2004 at 1:52 PM Rating: Good
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ya its the American on but switched america with britain
#10 Aug 31 2004 at 2:42 PM Rating: Good
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
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19,524 posts
Quote:
Are they basically working to drink or what? It amazes me.
Yep!

Don't forget about our ability to fill an evening with discussions about the weather and our inability to cook anything without 2 gallons of boiling water or a pound of Lard. (OK cooking's much better lately but you get the point)

So what brings you to London? And from where?
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#11 Aug 31 2004 at 3:26 PM Rating: Decent
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1,150 posts
I'm originally from Texas, but I'm here working for NATO (that's just a cover for spending three years here drinking fine ale and catching some gigs in Camden). I live in the northwest part of London between Watford and Uxbridge.





#12 Aug 31 2004 at 5:01 PM Rating: Decent
20 posts
d(^.^)b
#13 Aug 31 2004 at 5:14 PM Rating: Decent
ROFL! Well Smasharoo, those are some new ones. Very funny. ^_^
#14 Aug 31 2004 at 5:25 PM Rating: Good
Eriston wrote:
How in the hell do working class guys manage to sit in pubs every single night paying 2-3 quid a pint?

What is a quid, anyway? And how much would that be in U.S. $?

I recall (barely) being in N. Ireland and having my girlfriend's brother take me "out for a pint." I didn't realize it was just a cover phrase meaning "we're going out to drink until they kick us out!"

Cab back to the house cost 15 bob... What's a "bob"? I think it roughly translated to a "dime"
#15 Aug 31 2004 at 5:41 PM Rating: Good
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Mikeinsb wrote:
What is a quid, anyway? And how much would that be in U.S. $?

I recall (barely) being in N. Ireland and having my girlfriend's brother take me "out for a pint." I didn't realize it was just a cover phrase meaning "we're going out to drink until they kick us out!"

Cab back to the house cost 15 bob... What's a "bob"? I think it roughly translated to a "dime"


A quid is a pound - just under 2 bucks (So beer is about 4 bucks a pint here)

In N. Ireland 'a pint' is scientifically determined as 'too much, then a wee bit more'. The Northern Irish have proved to be some of the most competitive drinkers with which I've ever had the pleasure to share unconsciousness.

A 'bob' was 1 shilling - 20 shillngs=1 pound. Replaced in 1971 with the decimal system (No shillings, just 100pence =1 pound) but we oldies still talk about '10 Bob' (50 pence) so 15 Bob=75p=$1:40-ish
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"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
#16 Aug 31 2004 at 5:44 PM Rating: Good
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
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Eriston wrote:
I live in the northwest part of London between Watford and Uxbridge
Well I visit London about 2-3 times a month. Send an email and we can hookup for a wee beverage.

If you ever travel near the Midlands, let me know and I'll show you the bright city lights of NowheresVille and we can remove our higher faculties.
____________________________
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
#17 Sep 01 2004 at 9:42 AM Rating: Decent
Quote:
'why were at war' thing, except this isn't some patriotic drivel.


don't think katies posts are patriotic, i'm patriotic, but i'm not a nationalist idiot, or at least i'm not nationalist, just because katie says she's patriotic dosen't mean everything she post has the best intentions for america at heart and causes nobody else any trouble at all
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