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When morons look for jobs...Follow

#1 May 07 2004 at 6:42 AM Rating: Decent
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Job Interview


Personnel executives of 100 major corporations were asked for stories of unusual behaviour by job applicants.

"... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."

"She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time."

"A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."

"... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."

"... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve"

"Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."

"Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions."

"When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office."

"At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumb-struck, went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."

"... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."

"Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."

"During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview."

"A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?" I said, "I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further." He promptly responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me more." "I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer."

"Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."

"Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."

#2 May 07 2004 at 7:52 AM Rating: Good
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Sort of related, I once had an email that had someone job application on it, it was one of those ones that bored people who have jobs probably go out and fill out for fast food joints, just to see how badly they can fill one out and still get a job offer or something.

The funniest line (to me) was:

Q: Do you smoke?
A: Only when set on fire.
#3 May 07 2004 at 3:01 PM Rating: Excellent
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Never go to an interview naked either...

Let's just say the people at Boeing don't have that much of a sense of humor...
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#4 May 07 2004 at 4:34 PM Rating: Decent
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Let's just say the people at Boeing don't have that much of a sense of humor...


You work at Boeing? If so, the Everett plant?
#5 May 07 2004 at 5:00 PM Rating: Good
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We had an interviewee who actually tried to pick a fight with the guy who was interviewing him. The guy actually pulled one of those ghettoesque "What!? You making fun of me? You wanna fight?..." kinda ploys. Not sure what he expected to get out of it. The guy giving the interview coincidentally happens to be one of those almost stereotypical Irishmen from Dublin. Raised by the local priest, taught to box in the rectory kind of guys. Probably would have cleaned the guys clock. Ended up just calling security and having the moron escorted out of the building instead.


You just have to wonder how these kind of people get past the screening...
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#6 May 07 2004 at 8:52 PM Rating: Decent
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I have interviewed many many people and some of my favorites that actually happened to me:

One candidate stopped mid interview to scratch his butt while I was staring at him

Another answered every interview question with "I have no answer for that"

Another stated that the customer service test we give, which candidates must past before they are interviewed, was racist

Another didnt like female managers (I am one)

Another one said that she liked the job but was concerned about the salary. She stated she had a lot of bills and could we adjust it to cover her bills.

One candidate butchered her application with poor grammar and spelling errors and then told us her strong point was written communication

One candidate snapped and popped her gum through the entire interview

Another said that she wanted to know if we could push back a start date until her workers comp benefits ran out...

Sometimes you cant believe what people will say.

M.

#7 Jun 05 2004 at 11:25 AM Rating: Decent
Quote:
"A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?" I said, "I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further." He promptly responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me more." "I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer."

I honestly think that the interviewee was retarded... It only work in Star Wars Galaxies:D
#8 Jun 05 2004 at 12:07 PM Rating: Good
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You work at Boeing? If so, the Everett plant?


Rephrase this please. As you know, there isn't a single person at Boeing that "works". Employed and gets a paycheck every other week and working don't always go hand in hand.
#9 Jun 05 2004 at 2:30 PM Rating: Decent
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Advice to applicants:

Don't attach long, chatty, overly personal cover letters to your resume'.

Your prospective new boss does not want to know about your childhood, marital woes, personal hardships, time spent in psych wards, that time you lived in your car for 2 months, how many and what type of pets you have, etc. Religious beliefs (which I've seen amazingly often) are iffy at best to include in your cover letter as well, unless you're applying for a job in a religious institution. Even then I'd save it until asked.

I've seen cover letters that read like "true confessions" articles. That usually makes me believe the person suffers from a disconnect with the norms of social intercourse. Not usually something an employer wants to deal with.

Never had anyone show up naked to an interview though.
#10 Jun 06 2004 at 11:21 AM Rating: Excellent
Quote:
Never had anyone show up naked to an interview though.


Where do you work? Might be able to arrange something. ;)
#11 Jun 06 2004 at 4:00 PM Rating: Decent
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The office I work in could stand a bit of excitement. I'll shoot an e-mail with the address right over.

You'd best show up while it's summer. Those sub freezing winter temperatures could affect your (ahem) prospects in ways that, while amusing, could show you to be an inadequate candidate.

Smiley: lol
#12 Jun 06 2004 at 6:50 PM Rating: Decent
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Quote:
"Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."



For some reason, this brings forth a very clear mental image.


tee~hee...
#13 Jun 06 2004 at 6:59 PM Rating: Decent
Person to notiy in case of emergency: Doctor. (What the hell is my mother going to do?)

Needless to say I wasn't hired.
#14 Jun 08 2004 at 9:48 AM Rating: Good
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EQDom wrote:
Person to notiy in case of emergency: Doctor. (What the hell is my mother going to do?)

Needless to say I wasn't hired.


... I don't see what's so wrong with that, unless you actually included the ()'s! ;)
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