Grandmother MojoVIII wrote:
I almost had it on with an incredibly hot girl.
But she got really drunk. I know, you may think "this is no problem".
But I know her quite well. So if I had gone home with her, and her hammered, and me sober as a man in a desert, I look like the creep taking advantage...
In this situation, here's what I'd do:
1) She's hot, that's been established. Hot and a nice person, like relationship material? Then refer to 2. Hot and a bitch? Bang her and don't look back. Her fault for getting drunk and for being a bitch, so she deserves it.
2) Make love to her. No, don't fuck
her. Make teh sweets love. If she's really really
drunk, feel free to grab the Gaxe off your wall and put on some purple gloves while you do it. Make sure to scream WAR-related moves while you do this. I usually prefer:
She on top? "RETALIATION!" "Raging Rush!"
before thrusting REALLY HARD three times. "King's Justice!"
Kinda like Raging Rush but preferably uttered if you can get your hands on a crown when you do it (If no crown is available, do the thing where you take your pointer and thumb and place them together to from a circle, then flip your hands upside-down and put them on your face, like a mask
). Hell, she doesn't know if you've broken your Sturdy Axe yet. BRAG! Chicks dig confident guys who've got their Nyzul WSs unlocked. "Berserk!"
Grab random objects from around the room and smash her in the head with them. She won't remember it in the morning. If she asks about cuts and bruises, blame it on aliens. "Aggressor!"
Acc+. Hit all of her right spots. Keep in mind, this is currently impossible for the mortal man. The only man known to come close is *CENSORED*
- also known as lolgaxe on these forums. Send him a PM if you want the secrets. But be prepared... the secret may KILL YOU DEAD
Also, don't forget to give props to the BRD, which is in most cases Marvin Gaye playing on your stereo system. You can't get 45k/hr (45sexes/hr
) without him.
3) In the morning, make her breakfast in bed, preferably pancakes. Maybe blueberry if you have them, because chicks love blueberries. If you don't have any atm, don't go to the store because that's just inconvenient. If you don't have pancake mix, give her whatever cereal you have. It's the thought that counts after all. If you don't have cereal, give her any kinda alcohol you may have in the house with some... anything you can find to float around in it. Cereal is cereal.
When you give her the breakfast: "No no, sweetie, lay back down. I'll get that OJ for you! Milk too? Ok! (yea, you loved the milk last night too...)"
Kiss her on the forehead and tell her what a wonderful time you had the night before. If she calls you a noob and asks why you haven't merited Warrior's Charge and used that on her, she's a keeper!