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Windows Updates, Kao looking at you here...Follow

#1 Nov 28 2011 at 1:52 PM Rating: Good
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I have my old man's laptop and it doesn't want to do updates for some reason. My normal course of action on a problem like this is to back up and rebuild but that isn't an option for this laptop.

Any ideas on what might be causing the backups to be stopped?
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#2 Nov 28 2011 at 3:04 PM Rating: Excellent
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I'm not Kao, but the first thing I'd check is that is has a legit copy of Windows. Some years ago MS made it so anything that fails the "genuine advantage" smell test will only get critical security updates on Patch Tuesday. There's a couple ways around it (mostly involving hacks) but the easiest way to fix it (if that's the problem) is just to change the license key over to whatever it was supposed to be originally, assuming you have it. There's a Windows XP Key changer tool available from Microsoft for just that purpose, which does not involve any sort of reinstalling of the OS or anything. Very handy.
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#3 Nov 28 2011 at 4:54 PM Rating: Good
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It's a legit copy, the copies of windows that fail the genuine copy test are given a black screen for a background. Plus its a refurbed laptop from Dell so I'd sure as sh*t hope they put genuine copies on it.
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#4 Nov 28 2011 at 9:36 PM Rating: Excellent
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Windows update issues are amongst the most annoying things to try and figure out in all of computer creation. Usually, a computer that can't get to windows update had a virus at some point that blocked access, virus gets cleared, but windows update remains unupdateable.

The fixes for windows updates are going to vary depending on version of windows. It also varies depending on what error you are actually seeing (or lack therof) does it just not load ever? load a blank page with nothing on it?

For windows XP, the proceedure outlined here: http://support.microsoft.com/kb/555989
will "usually" work. If it doesn't, you have bigger problems than just windows update not working. The automatic "fixit" variant of that article is here: http://support.microsoft.com/kb/943144 and that one might work with windows 7.

Try those, if that doesn't work, let me know what OS version, which service pack, and what specific error you are seeing.

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#5 Nov 29 2011 at 11:09 AM Rating: Excellent
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Well I was able to fix the problem and got windows to update. And the reason why it wouldn't update is heavily pointed towards user error.

My dad had the following installed: Avira AntiVirus and Firewall, Online Armor (another firewall), and Spybot search and Destroy. Since Online Armor tends to question EVERY @#%^ING THING you do on your computer at some point in time the windows update wu*****.exe, I can't remember the full name off hand, popped up and apparently he had to have blocked it.

So once I uninstalled all the sh*t he had installed windows updates came flying through like it was no one's business. One more fun story about my dad and his extreme paranoia. My mom is a nurse and to access some of her training modules she needs to be on the hospital's intranet. What's the easiest way to do this? VPN! They use citrix for their vpn client and apparently my old man wouldn't let her do it because it popped up a warning or something on his 3 different firewalls.

Oh fun times.
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#6 Nov 30 2011 at 1:10 AM Rating: Excellent
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Ah, Dueling firewalls will do it every time!
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