All pets go to heaven. :: World of Warcraft

#1 Sep 08 2009 at 12:06 PM Rating: Excellent

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2,590 posts

All pets are equal--the only difference is that some are prettier than others. You should always choose the best-looking pet you can find, and you get bonus points if it matches your armor/hair/eyeshadow.

Don't use a wolf, though. Only sheeple tame wolves. Stop trying so hard to conform!

Your pet can be as strong or wimpy as you like. To help your pet do better in a fight, set him to Aggressive! Passive is for pussies.

Hunters can't tame their own mounts. This is horribly unfair, and you should make a new post about it daily. Try changing your titles around to get more replies--if "aww I wanna tame a unicorn" doesn't get enough attention, "GG BLIZZ U RUNED MYE GAM FUUUUUUUU" definitely will!

You can't tame a dragon either. But Blizzard might change their mind if you post about it, especially if you post in the Mage class forums. Those guys don't really know what Hunters can and can't tame, so you'll get tons of support. Easy, huh?

You are always a girl, and if anyone disagrees with you (or worse, gives you advice), they are "just bein so meen! *cries*". Remember to /flirt with everyone, otherwise no one will believe you! Talking about your boobs helps too--if you're not sure what size to say, just pick a number and a letter! Remember, smaller numbers and bigger letters are the way to go. 34A is pretty fail, go for 12ZZ instead!

In a group setting you may be asked to use certain abilities. Here is a quick explanation of a few: "Misdirection" is a tool to help lazy tanks. If someone asks you to use it, ignore him. "CC" stands for cottage cheese, it is a random word like bacon and means nothing. "Trap" means they are questioning whether you are really a girl IRL--usually a simple "ofcourse I'm a gurl sillykins *giggles*" should suffice. "Pull" means that instead of killing the closest monsters you should start with those furthest away. Finally, "ninja" is a way of saying someone is really skilled, like Naruto. Pretty cool, huh?

When it comes time to roll on loot, just click Need--it will give the loot to whoever needs it most, so it's totally fair. Anything you can equip is fair game--the loot genie wouldn't give it to you if you didn't really need it. Also, while a lot of people will tell you that Hunters don't melee--they're wrong, though. After all, Hunters can equip almost any kind of melee weapon! (Just use Raptor Strike every couple of minutes and be sure to spam wing clip, and you'll be doing great!) So be sure to roll on all weapons, not just bows--you need that sword as much as anyone else.

Speaking of bows, as a Hunter that's really all you should be using. It's not like Legolas ever used a gun, right? If your race doesn't start out with bows trained, just melee until you can find the right weapons trainer. Remember: Guns are noisy and ugly and unsportsmanlike--a real Hunter should never, ever use one. Reprimand any Hunters you see using guns, especially Dwarves. Tip: Calling them "huntards" is a great way to get them to see things your way!

The cookie-cutter talent trees always put points into at least two trees. Those specs are for noobs who don't want to use their brains, though. A really ninja-awesome hunter puts points into ALL THREE. This will give you a great pet, powerful attacks, and great melee. Bear in mind though, its not where you spend the points that determines skill, its how many points you have left after learning each tree. One point per tree should be sufficient.

Shot rotation means using your keys to turn in a circle every time you use Arcane Shot or Serpent Sting. It's supposed to make your damage go up, but it's not really worth the extra effort. If someone asks you about your rotation, just call him a noob. He will appreciate your brutal honesty. Shot priority means that you always need to be the first one to attack a monster. If someone asks what your shot priority is, he's trying to find out if he can get away with attacking first. Do not let this happen! Immediately shoot the nearest monster or enemy player. If there are no enemies nearby, say "ohno rouge" and feign death until your interrogater loses interest. This simple incantation can get you out of many sticky situations!

DPS numbers are important, but even as a totally awesome hunter some classes (like mages, protection paladins, and priests who turn into blue ladies) will always score higher than you. Don't worry, though, other more experienced Hunters already have all of the answers! Feel free to share one or more of these with your group. 1: LAGGG. Laggg is the ancient force of evil giving power to every boss in Azeroth. He especially hates Hunters because they are attuned to nature and will someday, thanks to your efforts, be able to tame dragons. 2: Pet bugged out. Fleas can adversely affect any Hunter's performance, and it's not like there's a pet spa anywhere. 3: OMG GF aggro! This clever comment will stun the group that already believes you are female, and give you plenty of time to start your shot priority on the next monster. 3b: LOL jk its just my twin sister, sorry guys ;). A useful follow-up to number 3. 4: Say nothing, and stand still for a few minutes. This period of meditation will help you gather your ninja energy, and most groups will forget all about the DPS meters by the time you rejoin them. 5: If you already have everything you need from the instance, hearth out and give someone else a chance at the last boss. This show of courtesy will distract anyone from your poor performance, and you'll have your good deed of the day covered for the next week!

If Hunter is not for you (seriously, you wolf-lovers, just get out of here) don't despair! There are still many other, lesser classes available to you, such as Rogue, Warrior, or Kobold NPC. Keep trying and follow your heart!

All pets go to heaven.Follow