Welp, I'm a horrible father. My girl is at the "afraid of monsters" stage, so she had me check under her bed. Problem is, apparently the dog was there and I had no idea, and he had no idea I was coming down to inspect his sleep space. So, he's shocked into waking up and starts growling, and all I see is a big dark beast with glowing eyes suddenly growling at me under her bed and a paw taking a swing at me. **** yeah, I shrieked and lunged away from it, but unfortunately my "lunge away" was more like "jerk erratically" and slammed the back of my head into her bed, which both just about knocks the panicking three year old out of the bed and into more hysterics, but also somehow forced my face into the floor which scared Kitty (still trolling the **** out of me by the way with that name) to yelp and launch himself into the bed almost knocking my daughter out of it again. So there I am, pinned under her bed trying to make her feel safe by proving bed monsters don't exist, screaming like a little girl, squirming and generally and making things worse battling the dog who is just as scared as the rest of us.
Now she refuses to sleep in her bed, and I refuse to look under them.
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.