Forum Settings
       
« Previous 1 2
Reply To Thread

Funny ExcusesFollow

#1 May 11 2007 at 10:45 AM Rating: Good
We've all been there. Mid-run (or mid-raid) a group mate will come up with possibly the strangest excuse that you've heard in your life for why they're leaving. Hell, maybe you're the one with the excuse. Who's got some funny stories about people splitting in the middle of a run that left you scratching your head afterwards?

I'll start us off;

Just about nine months ago, our guild was doing a Blackwing Lair run for some free cash and to try out some newer guild members. We'd invited a rather good priest to come along, and he was doing great up until midway through the Broodlord clear.

[Priest]: Aww, crap. Sorry guys, I have to go AFK for about 10 minutes. It's the peak of my wife's fertility cycle.
[Raid Leader]: Er... okay.
[Priest]: Really sorry, be back ASAP.
[Raid Members]: WTF? He has to be joking.

4 Minutes, 32 Seconds Later (Yes, I went back to check the chat logs later)
[Priest]: Okay, I'm back!
[Me]: Uhm... didn't you forget something?
[Priest]: ?
[Me]: ...nevermind.

Two addendums to this story; about two weeks later, his wife got onto his account and deleted all of his characters. (I WONDER WHY!) He did eventually get his characters back, though, after making some deals with his wife (they work different shifts, so he plays when she's at work). The next time he was in a raid and said he had to go AFK to deal with a "wife thing", he was gone for about a half hour. Good man.

Second addendum; she's due in about a week. I went back to check on my DKP site, and it will have been about 9 months and 1 week (standard gestation period) since that Blackwing Lair raid.
#2 May 11 2007 at 10:48 AM Rating: Decent
Quote:
4 Minutes, 32 Seconds


No wonder she deleted his characters
#3 May 11 2007 at 10:52 AM Rating: Decent
Yes, that was the point. =p
#4 May 11 2007 at 11:05 AM Rating: Decent
**
666 posts
Some of the most interesting and worst excuses I've heard. Unbelievable? Come join me on my server sometime.

"My dog just ran into the door, he's having a seizure, I gtg guys"

"This group sucks, later"

"My girlfriend/mom/wife just got home, so I might be disconnected soon"

"My mom says I can't play for more then an hour at a time"

"I have to go to school/work/hell"

"I refuse to group with So&So"

"1 r 73h 1337 & u'z guyz r dr@gg1|\|g m3 d0\/\/|\|" more then one time this has happened sadly...

"I just hit my *random body part* and now I'm bleeding, I gtg" why the hell would you type it out before leaving? I'm sorry but if I just split my head open, I'm not going to care that my group knows about it and I won't be availabe to play for the next week.

"Afk I need to do *some random event that could have been taken care of before they even got to the instance but they procrastinated and are now being ******* at by their parents, girlfriend, sibling, dog, or demonic voice inside their head that will kill them if they don't do it*"

#5 May 11 2007 at 11:26 AM Rating: Decent
***
2,101 posts
"I have to take a s#!t, this could take 5 minutes, it could take 30, sometimes you never can tell with these things until you start going. BRB"
#6 May 11 2007 at 11:42 AM Rating: Decent
-REDACTED-
Scholar
**
820 posts
SynnTastic wrote:
"I have to take a s#!t, this could take 5 minutes, it could take 30, sometimes you never can tell with these things until you start going. BRB"


Salive sailed from my lips, plastering my moniter, keyboard, mouse, pet cat and desk in frothy liquid. Why did you make me laugh, you evil monster?; WHY?!


My top few:

"Sister's fallen down the stairs, gtg to hospital."
"Been on 28 Hours solid, mum's home, she might turn the electricity off in the house and stab me in the face. Replace me now, kthx."
"UR AKLL **** U TUKE MY LOOT AND U* SUCK FFS U NOOB **** **** ***** NUBS" (Not mine)
#7 May 11 2007 at 11:50 AM Rating: Default
Question:

Why do women fake orgasms?

Answer:

Because they THINK we care.
LMAO

Edited, May 11th 2007 3:50pm by JeremyRG
#8 May 11 2007 at 12:10 PM Rating: Decent
****
4,297 posts
"g2g, garbage can on fire"
#9 May 11 2007 at 12:14 PM Rating: Good
***
2,824 posts
I think my next excuse is going to be:

"My pimp is home, gtg"
#10 May 11 2007 at 12:15 PM Rating: Decent
JeremyRG wrote:
Question:

Why do women fake orgasms?

Answer:

Because they THINK we care.
LMAO

Edited, May 11th 2007 3:50pm by JeremyRG

I hope you never get laid again (assuming you've ever gotten laid).
#11 May 11 2007 at 12:15 PM Rating: Decent
***
2,580 posts
I was in a pug once and using the leaders vent server and got, "My mom wants me to take the garbage out brb"

The druid screamed over vent "***** get back in the kitchen and bake me a pie!!!"

He was promptly kicked.

Not really a funny excuse but funny none the less.
#12 May 11 2007 at 12:18 PM Rating: Good
Terrorfiend
*****
12,905 posts
i've used "I have really bad diarhea and g2g" to escape a few pugs.

Have heard a few odd ones but really cant remember them right now >_<
#13 May 11 2007 at 12:22 PM Rating: Decent
Scholar
***
1,156 posts
PuG Mechanar just rode up the elevator and the Mage says "AFK.. I have to go to the store and get food".

Was gone ~10 minutes.. while we just stood there, I guess in shock.

Still my favorite.
#14 May 11 2007 at 12:40 PM Rating: Default
Quote:
Was gone ~10 minutes.. while we just stood there, I guess in shock.


I'm suprised that you actually waited for someone to "go to the store"
#15 May 11 2007 at 12:58 PM Rating: Decent
In my guild this one hunter promised to help a lowbie in the guild through westfall. I was in the lowbies group talking whent he hunter joined.

Lowibe: Hey! I'm outside moonbrook, I really appreciate you helping me.

Hunter: np

-Bout 5 min of no talking-

Hunter: Oh crap sorry dude.

Lowbie: huh?

Hunter: My son wants me to help him on a Gameboy Game, I have to log

Me and Lowbie: wtf
#16 May 11 2007 at 1:00 PM Rating: Decent
*****
19,369 posts
I've heard a lot of the generic ones but there's one I still can't believe to this day.


We had a group and we were doing an instance. This was in EQ but it's basically the same thing. We were all doing just fine and then out of nowhere one of the dps members had to afk;

ranger: AFK a coule minutes My grandma fell down the stairs!
me: !
healer: Wow that sucks.
me: You better go help her.
ranger: She's hurt really bad and lying there. She can't get up.
healer: Umm you should probably go and help her.
ranger: I'll be back in a couple minutes ok guys?
me: Do what you got to do. You can leave if you want we'll understand. Your grandma needs help.
ranger: I don't want to lose this group. I need this instance.
healer: You really should be more worried about your grandma. You better log off and take care of her.
ranger: but will you guys wait for me?
me: Dude, your grandma's hurt and on the floor. Get off the stupid computer and go help her. What are you still doing typing?



This went on for a good 5-10 minutes. I think he was 16 or 17 and ended up having to drive his grandma to the hospital. Dear lord people it's a damn game. I'd hate to see someone's grandma die because they couldn't leave a group to go help them.

That was the best excuse I've ever heard to leave a group and yet this kid wouldn't leave. Hell if it was me I probably wouldn't have even told the group anything and just left.




#17 May 11 2007 at 1:27 PM Rating: Good
Avatar
***
3,350 posts
...I had to tell my b/f's raid group that he passed out drunk and wouldn't be coming back.

...the really sad part is I had to tell them that he had gotten hot so he went outside to cool off and his drunk **** passed out underneath our Monte Carlo.

Edited, May 11th 2007 5:27pm by Subarcana
____________________________
Sub

...my kids call me Mary Poppins.

Cry me a river, build a bridge over it... jump in and drown. Smiley: grin

http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h175/SupremeTrollKing/subarcana.jpg
#18 May 11 2007 at 1:36 PM Rating: Decent
Quote:
ranger: AFK a coule minutes My grandma fell down the stairs!
me: !
healer: Wow that sucks.
me: You better go help her.
ranger: She's hurt really bad and lying there. She can't get up.
healer: Umm you should probably go and help her.
ranger: I'll be back in a couple minutes ok guys?
me: Do what you got to do. You can leave if you want we'll understand. Your grandma needs help.
ranger: I don't want to lose this group. I need this instance.
healer: You really should be more worried about your grandma. You better log off and take care of her.
ranger: but will you guys wait for me?
me: Dude, your grandma's hurt and on the floor. Get off the stupid computer and go help her. What are you still doing typing?


Smiley: cookie I'll never forget how you made the choclate chips perfectly spaced out and heated them to perfection gram gram!!!!!
#19 May 11 2007 at 1:40 PM Rating: Decent
Ghost in the Machine
Avatar
******
36,443 posts
Halfway through Cathedral (Scarlet Monastery).

Warrior: "afk 5 min, house is on fire"
Me: "the what is on what?"
Priest: "holy ****"
Rogue: "the hell?"
Warrior: "gtg, the smoke is getting too thick"
Priest: "o-okay.. uh, cya?"
Warrior: "oh **** it's an electrical fire!"

He d/c'd shortly thereafter. Smiley: dubious


After a 5 minute biobreak in Uldaman.

Druid: "oh crap, i gtg guys"
Me: "what happened?"
Hunter: "what? why?"
Druid: "didn't make it to the bathroom!!"
Druid: ****************
Me: "i bet"
Warrior: "no kidding"

The party channel was one big mix of "lol" and "haha".
____________________________
Please "talk up" if your comprehension white-shifts. I will use simple-happy language-words to help you understand.
#20 May 11 2007 at 8:00 PM Rating: Decent
***
1,188 posts
One story that I've heard is that one guy left a group because he had to "clean up a chocolate ***** that was drawn on his lawn."

I was doing a health project where I had to babysit a plastic baby that was pretty damn near the real thing for a weekend. So in the middle of a Scholo run, I said "Oh damn, the plastic baby is crying got to go feed it."

Another one was when I drank too much soda and was going to the bathroom every minute in the middle of an RFC run, and I was the tank.
#21 May 11 2007 at 8:10 PM Rating: Decent
Quote:
One story that I've heard is that one guy left a group because he had to "clean up a chocolate ***** that was drawn on his lawn."


That was my former guildie, I had posted that here before.
#22 May 11 2007 at 8:40 PM Rating: Decent
Scholar
Avatar
****
4,445 posts
One time when playing eq1 we had some guy debating on rather or not to take his GF to the hospital. We was forming a Monster Mission (which is basically a instance but they only take about 30 minutes depending on the knowledge of the group members). Anyways we was ready to go and he said his GF was in bad shape and he might have to take her to the ER. So we waited about 5 minutes and he came back and said he was ready to go. Then about 1 minute later he said hold on he wasn't sure. This went on for another 10 minutes or so and he comes back saying he thinks she will be ok long enough to do the mission. I tore his *** and told him to get her to the hospital and to quit worrying about a game. He immediately went Linkdead (which is a sign he just did a /quit) and I never seen him again.

Seriously though thats bad when your willing to let somebody suffer so you can complete a mission on a game. The thing was this mission wasn't hard to get a group for, it was a Dain Monster Mission which any time of the day you can just about get a group for.
____________________________
Hi
#23 May 11 2007 at 9:50 PM Rating: Decent
*
233 posts
I was in the middle of Kara with the guild and it was about 9-10 pm on Friday. I had made plans with the roommates to go out and have a few drinks/party with them earlier that week and was just trying to finish up our raid really quick. Well a couple of my roommates who were already pretty sauced started knocking on my door constantly trying to get me to come out. I told them that I'd be there in about 20 min and they said ok.

Thought I was in the clear for another 30-40 min right? They were drunk and we were starting the Opera event (last boss event I was attending in the raid that night). Well, I was wrong....I had about 1 min....because they charged my bedroom door and broke it off of the hinges. Drunk b@stards.

Me: Guys after this event I'm gonna have to head out, drinky drunky time.
Guild: Ok, yeah we should call it for tonight after this.
(The 1 min time period before the intrusion)
Me: Umm, guys I gotta go like now.....so sorry!
Guild: What happened?
Me: Roommates just broke down my door and one of them is bleeding.
Guild: WTF, broke down your door?
Me: D@mn drunks.....

They both charged the door and one of my two roommates pushed the other one in front of him right into the door and busted his nose, I did get a kick out of it though, lol.

That's the first time I've actually had an excuse to leave a party. Usually I tell ppl that I'm tired of playing and leave and usually always find a replacement for myself.

sorry for the language

Edited, May 12th 2007 12:52am by Darister
#24 May 11 2007 at 11:16 PM Rating: Decent
***
1,113 posts
#25 May 11 2007 at 11:51 PM Rating: Decent
*
206 posts
A tank told us he needed a quick afk. He comes back like 5 minutes later and was like "sorry, I sliced my finger open, and needed to clean up the keyboard." Turns out he broke a glass in the room, and didn't notice a shard in his keyboard. Funny thing? He completed the boss before he took the afk.

Heroic Mechanar - shadow priest was like "I need to take out the trash." 40 minutes later, we disbanded. Not even the first time he's done it. Apparently once in MC it was an hour and a half long afk for garbage.

#26 May 12 2007 at 2:35 AM Rating: Good
"Sorry, my microwave exploded. See ya later"

"i h8 u all. im gunn go slit mi rists" <--- true story.

"Omg the cops are on to me. I gotta go, be back in 30 mins." <--- what?
« Previous 1 2
Reply To Thread

Colors Smileys Quote OriginalQuote Checked Help

 

Recent Visitors: 145 All times are in CST
Anonymous Guests (145)