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Top 10 reasons I hate WoWFollow

#1 Nov 13 2004 at 9:13 PM Rating: Excellent
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79 posts
This was orignally posted on the main worldofwarcraft forums by a player named Kruunch. I found it pretty funny. Figured we could use a few laughs.

I've been playing WoW for a few months now and here are my major beefs with the game ....

1) Quests require too much reading. This is the computer age. I should click on an NPC and a glowing arrow should point me to the correct spot and the objectives should blink a lot, or glow, or have a sign above their heads saying "kill me for ph4t l3wtZ".

2) Characters aren't customizable enough. I should be able to choose from a variety of 987 different butt cheek tatoos that other players can see through my greaves/belt/weapon/packs/armor/clothing.

3) I dislike the location of the servers. I live in Guam and connect to the Internet via GilliganNet (two coconuts and some thistle string). If my latency gets above 19, I won't buy this game.

4) Undead walk unnaturely. This is unnatural for an unnatural PC to naturally do. Naturally.

5) The Horde side has 12,342,221 instances of PeaceBloom and the Alliance side has only 12,342,218. Obviously the Horde side will suffer from increased Potion mudflation as everyone plays an Alchemist on the Horde side and this game just winds up being a twink fest of Mr. Magoo's Magical ManGoo potions.

6) I dislike the fact that when I enter the game for the first time I have to walk 10 game feet to the first quest giver. I would suggest a teleporter mechanism be placed in to overcome this senseless tedium.

7) Mages suck because they can only blow things up in a half dozen ways. Please let them blow things up in a dozen or more ways.

8) I feel that the Polymorph Other spell is biased against all creatures other than Sheep and men from Scotland.

9) I dislike the lack of standardization that WoW doesn't appear to want to adhere to. When the servers go down, they come back up in about 2.5 minutes. I regulate some pretty important facets of my life around game servers going down for at least 2 or more hours at a clip. Because of Blizzard's lack of thoughtfulness, I now have a permanent hair condition after trying to make toast and shower at the sametime.

10) Finally I dislike all this talk about more content being pushed BEFORE release. Everyone knows that successful MMOGs start out with as little content as possible and make their fan bases whine until they can release more content at software release prices. That and how will I ever get to take a break to feed the kids their one meal if there is *that* much stuff to do?!

In closing I would like to say that although I've been playing this game for free for the past 4 months, I have spent a lot of time reviewing and testing your obviously inferior product.

As such I'm suing you for $3,540,000,000.32

Please make the check payable to:

John Smedley
#2 Nov 13 2004 at 9:16 PM Rating: Decent
lol, funny.
#3 Nov 13 2004 at 9:18 PM Rating: Decent
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6,678 posts
Well, his post took a slightly different turn with the Smedley comment at the end, (one of the main people for EQ2,) but he nailed a lot of the major peevish comments posters have all the time. Number 5 is wrong though! It's supposed to be the Horde have 3 less, and so clearly Blizzard has an Aliiance bias!
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Only the exceptions can be exceptional.
#5 Nov 13 2004 at 10:46 PM Rating: Default
dont be a ****. i laughed outloud a few times. its light hearted and good for a quick laugh. No reason for u to be a cynical ******* about it
#7 Nov 13 2004 at 10:50 PM Rating: Default
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729 posts
I have to agree with Eric. It wasn't really that funny. Of course after a few bottles of saki, and in 4 more hours when I am dead tired. It might be funny then.
#8 Nov 13 2004 at 10:56 PM Rating: Decent
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266 posts
Quote:
8) I feel that the Polymorph Other spell is biased against all creatures other than Sheep and men from Scotland.


LMAO

I for one thought this was a very funny post.
#9 Nov 13 2004 at 11:00 PM Rating: Default
haha vic proably true.. ive had more then a few beers so who knows? maybe thats the reason for it making me chuckle...
#10 Nov 13 2004 at 11:07 PM Rating: Decent
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729 posts
I have to admit the sheep one was funny. When I was partying with a mage (I believe it was), watching a monster I was killing turn into a sheep was pretty laughable. Or you could say it was really baaaaaddd! Now hows that for the bad pun of the day. ~grin~
#11 Nov 14 2004 at 4:39 AM Rating: Decent
Nah this one beats them all:

Quote:
the Horde side and this game just winds up being a twink fest of Mr. Magoo's Magical ManGoo potions.


That is like classic, how he came up with it I'll never know. I actually laughed out loud when I read that.


-$.02
#12 Nov 14 2004 at 8:16 AM Rating: Good
Wolfsfable wrote:

8) I feel that the Polymorph Other spell is biased against all creatures other than Sheep and men from Scotland.


Hilarious post and made me think about sheep so more yayness for it.
#13 Nov 14 2004 at 1:30 PM Rating: Good
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10,755 posts
1337Eric wrote:
It was plain stupid nothing funny or cool about it....


uB312Eric wrote:
My pwnage char


I think that pretty much sums up your credibility in assessing anything remotely intelligent.

Nice job Wolf
Smiley: clap


Edited, Sun Nov 14 13:31:13 2004 by NephthysWanderer
#14 Nov 14 2004 at 4:34 PM Rating: Decent
I loved it. Was a good bit of humor that I needed while at work!
#15 Nov 14 2004 at 10:36 PM Rating: Decent
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6,678 posts
How was I being a cynical *******? I mean, granted, I normally am, but that doesn't mean it carries over into every post of mine.
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#16 Nov 15 2004 at 12:03 AM Rating: Good
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500 posts
Quote:
How was I being a cynical *******? I mean, granted, I normally am, but that doesn't mean it carries over into every post of mine.


Bah, whoever said it just needs to read more slowly, not to mention more carefully. I didn't think your post was cynical.

So there!

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