PB&J Eozora StyleFollow

Note: This is not meant to be a serious post. But one to kind of illustrate a point. So, without further ado, I present...

Making a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich... Eozora style.

Moving to Culinary Ward...

1. Crystals Foryou's Bazaar...
2. XXXXCRYSTAL XXXXXXXXXXX's bazaar....
3. Buymy Marmotmeat's bazaar...
4. MokoMoko Grassywassy's bazaar...
.
.
.
30. Igots Coolstuff's Bazaar
- PB&J Sandwich x1 9,999,999 gil

Moving to Grocer's Ward...
1. Crystals Foryouz's Bazaar...
2. XXXXCRYSTALZ XXXXXXXXXXX's bazaar....
3. Buymyz Marmotmeat's bazaar...
4. MokoMoko Grassywassyz's bazaar...
.
.
.
30. Imahot Kittygirl's Bazaar
- Peanut Butter x99 9,999,999 gil

Using 3 of 50 anima to teleport to Walmart...

You equip the Bronze Hatchet in your main hand
You switch your class to botanist
You equip the Bronze Scythe in your off hand
You enter Walmart (Grade 3)

Little Girl: Mommy why does that person have an axe and scythe in the store?
Girls Mommy: Don't stare, sweety. Just stay away.
Little Girl: Is that person a bad person mommy?
Girls Mommy: Yes, dear. Just pretend they aren't there, OK?
Little Girl: OK, mommy. Bye-bye strange person with the axe!

Choose your aisle...
You begin to gather...
You don't feel anything...
You sense you are getting closer to the mark...
You sense that you have found something, but you can't quite make the final cut.
You obtain the Moon Pie. You sense a Moon Pie to the left of where you are gathering
You sense you can gather 4 more times from this location
Choose your aisle
You begin to gather...
You don't feel anything...
You sense you are getting closer to the mark...
You sense that you are getting further away from the mark...
You sense that you are getting further away from the mark...
You don't obtain anything...
You sense you can gather 3 more times from this location...
Choose your aisle
You begin to gather...
You don't feel anything...
You sense you are getting closer to the mark...
You sense something of interest...
You sense something of interest...
Your chop damages a bag of Doritos. You sense a bag of Doritos where you are gathering
You sense you can gather 2 more times from this location...
Choose your aisle
You begin to gather...
You don't feel anything...
You sense you are getting closer to the mark...
You sense that you have found something, but you can't quite make the final cut.
You obtain 3 bottles of shampoo. You sense a bottle of shampoo to the right of where you

are gathering.
You sense you can gather 1 last times from this location...
Choose your aisle
You begin to gather...
You don't feel anything...
You sense you are getting closer to the mark...
You sense that you have found something, but you can't quite make the final cut.
You obtain a box of Capt'n Crunch. You sense a box of Capt'n Crunch to the right of

where you are gathering.
You cannot gather anything else from this location...
You stop gathering...
You don't sense anything of interest at this location...

You enter Supermarket (Grade 4)

Little Boy: WOAH COOL! That person has a scythe! Mom, can I have a scythe too?!

Boys Mom: Absolutely not!

Little Boy: Awww, come on! Hey! Can I touch your scythe? Pleeeeease?

Boys Mom: GET AWAY FROM (HIM/HER)! (SHE/HE) is obviously dangerous, now come on!

Little Boy: But Mom!

Choose your aisle...
You begin to gather...
You don't feel anything...
You sense you are getting closer to the mark...
You sense that you have found something, but you can't quite make the final cut.
You obtain 6 cans of RC Cola. You sense a can of RC Cola to the left of where you are

gathering.
You sense you can gather 4 more times from this location
Choose your aisle
You begin to gather...
You don't feel anything...
You sense you are getting closer to the mark...
You sense that you are getting further away from the mark...
You sense that you are getting further away from the mark...
You don't obtain anything...
You sense you can gather 3 more times from this location...
Choose your aisle
You begin to gather...
You don't feel anything...
You sense you are getting closer to the mark...
You sense something of interest...
You sense something of interest...
Your chop doesn't even scathe the twinkie. You sense a twinkie where you are gathering
You sense you can gather 2 more times from this location...
Choose your aisle
You begin to gather...
You don't feel anything...
You sense you are getting closer to the mark...
You sense that you have found something, but you can't quite make the final cut.
You obtain a condom. You sense a condom to the right of where you are gathering.
You sense you can gather 1 last times from this location...
Choose your aisle
You begin to gather...
You don't feel anything...
You sense you are getting closer to the mark...
You sense that you have found something, but you can't quite make the final cut.
You obtain 3 apples. You sense an apple to the left of where you are gathering.
You cannot gather anything else from this location.

Three hours later...

You obtain 3 peanuts...
You obtain 2 grapes...

You equip the Iron Alembic in your main hand
You change your class to Alchemist
You begin the synthesis.
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 9%
Durability decreases by 21
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 10%
Durability decreases by 22
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 19%
Durability decreases by 10
Your cotton T-shirt is damaged!
You use Standard Synthesis.
Progress increases by 11%
Durability decreases by 5
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 9%
Durability decreases by 21
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 9%
Durability decreases by 24
You gain 50 Alchemy Skill Points
You gain 150 Experience Points.

You begin the synthesis.
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 9%
Durability decreases by 23
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 10%
Durability decreases by 20
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 19%
Durability decreases by 10
The harnessed ice element becomes unstable!
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 2%
Durability decreases by 25
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Durability decreases by 20
You gain 10 Alchemy Skill points.
You gain 100 Experience points.

You begin the synthesis.
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 19%
Durability decreases by 10
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 20%
Durability decreases by 3
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 15%
Durability decreases by 2
Your a pair of denim jeans are damaged!
You use Standard Synthesis.
Progress increases by 11%
Quality increases by 3
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 15%
Durability decreases by 5
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 20%
Durability decreases by 8
You obtain 12 jars of peanut butter.
You obtain 210 alchemy skill points.
You obtain 400 experience points.


You begin the synthesis.
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 9%
Durability decreases by 23
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 10%
Durability decreases by 20
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 19%
Durability decreases by 10
The harnessed ice element becomes unstable!
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 2%
Durability decreases by 25
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Durability decreases by 20
You gain 10 Alchemy Skill points.
You gain 100 Experience points.

You begin the synthesis.
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 9%
Durability decreases by 23
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 10%
Durability decreases by 20
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 19%
Durability decreases by 10
The harnessed fire element becomes unstable!
Your a pair of tennis shoes are damaged!
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 2%
Durability decreases by 25
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Durability decreases by 20
You gain 10 Alchemy Skill points.
You gain 100 Experience points.

You equip the Iron Dagger in your main hand
You change your class to Gladiator.
.
.
.
You have defeated the Innocent Shopper
You obtain 120 Gladiator skill points
You obtain 850 experience points
Your loot list now contains a jar of jelly
Your loot list now contains a piece of bread

You equip the Iron Skillet in your main hand.
You change your class to Culinaran.

This synthesis requires large scale facilities to complete.
Using 3 of 29 anima to teleport to Camp Home.

Camp Dude: What the 'ell do YOU want? Can't ya see I'm busy pickin' my nose for

lockpickin' skill? [kudos if you get the reference.]
Camp Dude: Use the facilities? A rotten low-life piece of dodo dung who claims to be
a bleedin' crafter wants to use MAH facilities? What the 'ell do I care if you use the
blasted things? It's not like I give a rat's arse and ta 'ELL if I can actually sound a

bit more pleasant! Oh, but I do care about gil, so give me the gil and I'll let you use

the stupid maggot infested facilities, OK?

You gain access to a kitchen.

You begin the synthesis.
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 19%
Durability decreases by 10
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 20%
Durability decreases by 3
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 15%
Durability decreases by 2
You use Standard Synthesis.
Progress increases by 11%
Quality increases by 3
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 15%
Durability decreases by 5

13001 The lobby server connection has encountered an error. Error code 3102. Status 0.

Have a nice day!
Welcome to Eozora!
Welcome to YourServer!


Camp Dude: What the 'ell do YOU want? Can't ya see I'm busy pickin' my nose for

lockpickin' skill?
Camp Dude: Use the facilities? A rotten low-life piece of dodo dung who claims to be
a bleedin' crafter wants to use MAH facilities? What the 'ell do I care if you use the
blasted things? It's not like I give a rat's arse and ta 'ELL if I can actually sound a

bit more pleasant! Oh, but I do care about gil, so give me the gil and I'll let you use

the stupid maggot infested facilities, OK?

You gain access to a kitchen.
You begin the synthesis.
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 9%
Durability decreases by 23
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 10%
Durability decreases by 20
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 19%
Durability decreases by 10
The harnessed wind element becomes unstable!
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 2%
Durability decreases by 25
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Durability decreases by 20
You gain 10 Culinary Skill points.
You gain 100 Experience points.

You begin the synthesis.
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 9%
Durability decreases by 23
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 10%
Durability decreases by 20
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 19%
Durability decreases by 10
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 20%
Quality increases by 5
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 15%
Quality increases by 3
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 15%
Durability decreases by 5
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt fails!
Progress increases by 4%
Durability decreases by 17
You use Standard Synthesis. The attempt succeeds!
Progress increases by 20%
Durability decreases by 8
You obtain a PB&J sandwich.
You obtain 210 culinary skill points.
You obtain 900 experience points.

You forgot the part where you have to harvest Sugarcane to make the Cane Sugar to go in the jelly, Squid Tentacles to make the jell for the jelly - which requires Fishing, of course; Wheat Stalks which you use to make Wheat Berries which you use to make Wheat Flour (although there isn't anything else besides Wheat Flour you can make with Wheat Berries); Bread Yeast - which you get by using Mining on rocks which are 50-100 yalms from the shore - any closer and you get moss instead, any further and you can only get Silex (and the one Mining spot in the game that is actually 50-100 yalms from the shore is also the spawn point for a pack of level 32 wolves); and Cooking Water, which you get by refining Water, which comes from Murky Water, which is derived from Cloudy Water - unless you're in Gridania, where you can just go get a cup of Water out of any stream, but you have to equip a Copper Cup in your off-hand. A Copper Cup requires a rank 27 Armorer to make, even though every other Copper item in the game only requires rank 7 and a PB&J is optimum for rank 10. Oh, and a PB&J isn't actually food, it's a Culiniarian off-hand item that lets you evade Stoneskin. Never mind that there aren't any Stoneskin in the game yet.

They really need to create a rating of "Freakin Amazing" for posts like this where "Excellent" just doesn't do it justice.

You, sir, are brilliant.

Pure Genius.

I am so glad I took the time to read that..

it gave me a much needed lol..