Words of Malice - Search for EmpathyFollow

MMORPG gaming. It is something many of us enjoy and pour a great many hours into. We make friends, embark on grand adventures, obtain unique achievements be it gear or recognition and perhaps learn a little bit about ourselves along the way behind the avatars we create.

As we journey and grow stronger within the parameters of the game do we find ourselves becoming less tolerant? Do we somehow separate ourselves from reality to the point that we disregard that in front of the monitor/television is a human being whose heart for gaming beats just like yours? For all of those good times we experience there are bad ones as well. Particularly those involving words of malice, negativity that is used to belittle or make someone feel less of a person because either an in-game event has gone unsatisfactory or mistakes were made.

For anyone who has been on the receiving end of malice laced words you know well how it can make you feel. Especially if you honestly gave it your all and it wasn't enough. Perhaps you didn't watch all the latest videos or you mistook a critical step in pure hindsight. Regardless the feelings of defeat and low determination are real and the cloud of doubt in your own abilities has sapped your desire to continue playing because of a select few.

Duty Finder (DF) is perhaps a good example where this type of behavior has the greatest chance of coming forward. Often times numerous players will gang up on the player or players they feel were the weakest in the group . The blame has to lie with someone after all. Ironically in situations like this rarely will players try to coach or teach the mechanics they feel should be learned let alone bring forward any mistakes they've made themselves. Unlike a pre-made group it seems people are quick to forget that the convenience of DF comes at the cost of being matched with players that might not be aligned perfectly with your method of playing the game.

In a time where patience and empathy are skills practiced less and less and everyone seeks immediate gratification we could stand to be reminded that the highest item level piece of gear we just acquired is not the strongest thing. It's the words we use and the actions we take. Somewhere along the line for a couple of minutes when things don't go our way we forget why we enjoy online gaming and that the avatars we meet are not NPC's, or AI, but real people. For those who have experienced this first hand I implore you to not give in to the negativity. Do not let anyone deter you from the game you enjoy. Instead let it empower you to keep moving forward.

Best of luck on your adventures!

I think people being unprepared is what leads to a lot of the behavior that we all wish wasn't there. It doesn't warrant personal attacks, but MMOs do tend to be a forum where people can and do vent at other players because they're anonymous. People don't care what some random person from another server thinks of them, so they act accordingly.

From another thread on the subject...



It's also the fastest way to let your group know that there is a real person behind your avatar. If you make yourself personable, I've found that there are far less willing to go in on you despite their anonymity. A bad joke like mine, a short story about that crazy guy on the bus or even a random interesting fact about frogs.

People will understand that you make mistakes just as they do. People will consider that you have feelings that could be hurt if they rage at you. It may seem strange to have to establish that you're human, but it really does work.

My general take on the "harsh criticism" you tend to see lobbed around can basically be addressed with a simple philosophy of mine: If you aren't willing to teach, you have no right to *****.

Not everyone goes to fan sites, reads guides, or has some knowledgeable buddy whose brain they can pick over rotations or tactics within a given event. Really, it's just an extension of the reality that we're all newbies at one point, no matter much some may kick and scream about being pro. Some learn quicker than others, yes. In some cases it is truly a gear problem, which means SE's take on ilvl requirements needs some work. And occasionally you do get those who play like *** just to troll the group. That's when the kick function comes in handy.

Patience is a nice thing to have, but it's also something the internet seems to glorify when lacking. Drama/Glory threads ahoy, there, and some sadly feed off it. In the end, I know the only person I can control is myself, which has forever left me leery of large-scale content within MMOs. It only takes one person to cause a ripple effect. No amount of dangling carrots to encourage "playing nice" has ever really seemed to work, instead only amplifying things when people start feeling robbed of progress. Which is one of those reasons why I'm so gung ho about solo progression options being, well, an option. Anyone who wants to rage against that is really someone I don't want to help gear up. It pretty much displays the utter lack of empathy for one someone would desire that scenario to begin with.

This was more obvious in XI where you practically needed to look up a guide for everything, for example, but I'm ultimately of the mind that if you can't solely play the game and accomplish your goals, something about the game itself was lacking in teaching you what you need to know. And since this does happen, we need to step in to cover the gaps for that is a benefit of social interaction, no?

When I see people raging about explaining a dungeon or boss, there's a part of me that sits here wondering if I'm encouraging some kind of War and Peace narrative on what goes down. For first-timers you certainly don't want to describe every boss at the start, as things will get forgotten or mixed up. Yet when I consider explanations I've given to people over time, they've rarely been longer than the length of this paragraph so far. Just be concise and cover the basics. If they have a question or want clarification, go from there. Heaven forbid the dungeon lasts a couple minutes more.

Whatever degree of "seriousness" you subscribe to is ultimately a matter of that patience I alluded to in my last post. If you want perfection, stay the **** out of PUGs and set up a static or at least build groups from within your FC/LS. But to impose your own personal standards on others when neither side really had a say in the grouping just makes you come off as a colossal ****. And if you truly believe success to be an impossibility, then politely bow out instead of berating or haughtily professing your disappointment. This is a game, not homework, which ultimately carries back to my opening sentiment.

As for those who take the time to make guides, awesome. Just don't assume that because they're out there, they're being observed. Should you personally find a good one, then refer it to your friends and FC/LS-mates. Pay it forward, as it were, and over time the number of n00bz will naturally diminish, thus improving the chance at a quality PUG.

I had the best Titan story mode yesterday. It was me, two newbie DDs, and a veteran tank. I think the tank and I ended up in there from DR.

The tank said, "Ok newbies. We're gonna lose this first attempt, but I want you to pay attention to what kills you." We lost, but they did. "You see that stripe just before you went down? Yeah, that one hurts." One DPS down. "Get the healer out of jail....Okay when he jumps up, run near me but don't run into the red - ahhh yeah this circle is inverse." Two DPS down. "Okay, let's reset." So he and I jumped off the edge and died on purpose.

We won on the second attempt. SECOND ATTEMPT with two newbies on Titan. It took my group nine tries the first time!

By using the first run as a dry run and teaching tool, the tank ensured that we only wasted one attempt. Spending those extra few minutes to teach meant he saved himself twenty minutes of futile attempts later on.

Dude. Nailed it. I dig the passion and truth. I did my second Garuda EX event tonight with my FC and after a couple hours no win. And during that time, not a single person was negatively critical. If someone had to leave due to RL it was not a problem at all. And even when we needed to utilize PF, while explaining it was a learning group, there was still no feuding or anger. Our group leader(s) were super rad.

Obviously, we all wanted the win, but, to me it was a great learning experience and I know we will get this fight down immediately.

Shout-out to TKC and others who were involved tonight. And to OP, rad post holmes. Happy Hunting. :)