From the Zealot foundation
thank you for purchasing one of our Heals. Be assured that your Heal is being processed and should be despatched to you within the next 3 seconds.
Though we invite feedback to our customer sevices department, simply phoning them and saying heal, HEAL or H E A L will not process your order any faster. Also we would like to know what HEAK means
We regret to inform you that due to high volumes your Heal may be slightly delayed. There are several reasons for this.
1 If you are a resident of the Channel islands, just joined a scenario or are simply more than 100ft away please allow up to 4 extra days for delivery.
2 You may be further down our priority queue. Please note that priority is given to the following.
Nurses,small children,hamsters,DPS classes which have decided not to let you have any agro time and are now also tanking despite having no armor, that shaman next to you who has decided to pull an extra Champion into an already overcrowded melee, people supplying me with Haribou sweets
3 As you may have seen in the news we are experiencing a few union problems. Currently our Disciple of Khaine branch has gone on strike and will only be healing themselves and even then not all of the time.
4 Our despatch department has trouble locating you. Our research shows that this seems to be because of some Tank bladder problems as you constantly seem to be running in houses, behind houses or behind trees. Should symptoms persist for more than 2 days you should seek medical assistance.
5 You may already be getting healed. You may notice from time to time that green bar above your head gets some extra icons next to it and the green bar itself slowly gets bigger between hits. These are known as HOTS or heals over time. Though we appreciate you may have wanted to see this bar drop to 20% then back to 100% we feel that keeping it 75% is adequate.
6 You are not in the same party as us. Despite several requests for an invite we see that you have chosen our "Steal all the loot" option. Although we will be receiving regular Influence our insurance company informs us that we are not liable for any injury sustained while you charge recklessly around Public Quests.
7 We ourselves may be tanking. While we appreciate that Tanking may not be our job we have recently found that simply staring harshly at npcs as you run past them causes them to run over and beat the snot out of us. We would suggest that a better way to maintain agro would be to hit them several times though you may find that "tanking" shaman you are with may perform this duty for you. Also shouting HEAL at them may also make them angry.
8 Sometimes we make mistakes. It happens, rez then go kill some Order :)
Edited, Oct 11th 2008 11:45am by Nightlife