Some fights actually do require well geared players for example Botulus Rex and Bismarck. You aren't going to win without some emps/relics (or relevant magian weapons).
Then those fights are obviously overtuned in difficulty. I realize Emps aren't necessarily hard to make as even I am very close to a level 90 one, but they and their relic and mythic brethren should always be luxuries and not requirements.
It has nothing to do with being a jerk or ignorant. Obviously every fight doesn't require this, but some actually do require well geared players for sucess and you have to be somewhat exclusive otherwise there won't be many wins if any at all. As already stated even if someone is shouting for emp/relics, just tell them you have one of the good weapons for sam/drk/drg and if they are reasonable they will invite you anyway.
And if not, then they are a jerk or ignorant and you're better off avoiding them anyway.