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What GM's do in thier spare time vol. 1Follow

#1 Jun 07 2004 at 8:51 AM Rating: Excellent
Sage
**
332 posts

Lol. I was browsing the forums and an idea struck my mind. What do GM's do while they're not on call duty? Do they just "hang"?
So i made my own version:

Characters:
GMbob (refered to as bob)
GMjoe (refered to as joe)

*2 GM's in the jail place*
Bob: Hello there fellow adventurer.
Joe: Oh shaddup with the RP **** man. We off duty.
Bob: Oh right.
Joe: /isbored
Bob: Yo, you know another nOOb came up and asked me if I can kill a rabbit just to show'em?
Joe: lol
Bob: I mean seriously, I have better use of my time! Theres tons of people out there that I need to save! People out there that are stuck in the rivers and **** ya know?
*ding-a-ling!*
Joe: Yo its a call.
*<randomplayer1> calls for assistance agaisnt a possible bot>*
Bob: Oh god, not another one..
Joe: I took the last one. Your turn.
Bob: **** no!

*GM FIGHT!!!*

Bob hits Joe for 198 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 201 points of damage.
Bob starts casting Fire XVI on Joe
Joe tosses a piece of **** at Bob.
Bob: WTF!!
Bobs spell is interrupted.
Joe scores a critical hit!
Bob takes 314 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
*ding-a-ling*
<randomplayer2> requests assitance against harrasment.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 666 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 325 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomgalka1> requests to see a GM for matters including a sausage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 673 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 133 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randommithra1> requests assistance against <randomhume1-6> about her "fun hole"
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 666 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 325 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 673 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 133 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomhume1-6> requests assistance against <randommithra1> that refuses to show them her "fun hole"
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer3> requests assitance against possible bot.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer7> requests to see a GM about <randomtarutaru1> trainging gobs to dunes entrance.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer8> requests assistance against a possible bot.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer10> requests assistance against a possible bot.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer90> requests assistance against a possible bot.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer47> request assitance against harrasment.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 666 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 325 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 673 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 133 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 666 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 325 points of damage.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer4> requests assitance in Bastok.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 673 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 133 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer5> requests to see a GM defeat a bunny.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 666 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 325 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 666 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 325 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.

*<randomtarutaru1> enters jail scene>*

Randomtarutaru1: um... excuse me...

Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 673 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 133 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 666 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 325 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.

Randomtarutaru1: Umm I was send here...

Bob: Wat is it!! We're in the middle of a epic battle! ... biznitch!
Joe: Thats right! That ******* only has 128904719564 hp before he dies! whereas I have 20195701340192401!! I will win!
Bob: Wait let me check what randomtarutaru1 has done...
*Bob checks GM handy-dandy notebook of all-knowingness*
Joe scores a critical hit!
Bob takes 1095 points of damage!
Bob: you *****!
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 673 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 133 points of damage.

Randomtarutaru1: DUde!!!
Joe: okok, sorry. I'll leave you alone.
*Bob returns to checking GM handy-dandy notebook of all-knowingness*
Joe steals 72020 gil from Bob.
Bob: WTF!!! STOP IT!!! THAT WAS MY LUNCH MONEY!!!
Joe: lol. Okay sorry, I couldn't resist.
Bob: ugh. Ok randomtarutaru1. I see that you have intentionally trained mobs to the zone to kill people. I'm afraid thats against the POS.
Randomtarutaru1: TOS?
Bob: Right...whatever. Ok now what do I do again?
Joe: You give him a warning.
Bob: oh right. ok. I hereby sentance you to not do it ever again, or I will personally come and PWN you. ok?
Joe: No its supposed to be where you suspend him.
Bob: oh. ok i suspend you for 3 days then.
Randomtarutaru1: ****.... but can i ask one favor?
Bob: What.
Randomtarutaru1: Can you kill a rabbit for me so I can take a quick screen?

Bob hits Randomtarutaru1 for 910294810359713571569183013948 points of damage.
Bob defeats Randomtarutaru1.
/t Randomtarutaru1 >> Can you raise me?
Randomtarutaru1 >> Fug no! Now **** off!

*GM FIGHT CONTINUES!!!*
Joe scores a critical hit!
Bob takes 1490109 points of damage!
Joe: Fu*k man! Stop doing taht!
*ding-a-ling!*
*<notsorandomanymoreplayer1> requests assistance against possible bot.*
Joe begins to summon Knights of the Round
Bob: you fuggin cheater!
Bob tosses a piece of **** at Joe.
Bobs ranged attack misses Joe.
Knights of the roung PWNS Bob for 7777777777777777777 points of damage.
Bob falls to the ground.

Joe starts casting Raise VIXWI on Bob.
Bob: I dont need that ****!
*ding-a-ling!*
*<notsorandomanymoreplayer1> requests assistance against possible bot.*
Bob: Fine fine, off I go.














/t Randomtarutaru1 >> Can you raise me?


Thus ends Vol. 1

Hope you enjoyed it!




Edited, Wed Sep 8 08:59:31 2004 by Alacer

Edited, Wed Sep 8 09:02:05 2004 by Alacer
____________________________
Alacer
Status: Retired
Job: Samurai
Cerberus
Author of the GM Series http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=10866161529918880&num=270
Author of Kai and Stan go to Rehab
http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=1111481954140564784&num=0
#2 Jun 07 2004 at 8:52 AM Rating: Decent
**
995 posts
LOL ae you bored? hehe
____________________________
Silverpolo 50 BST / 25 WHM @ Asura

*** 46 RNG / NIN *** 42 THF / NIN ***

- 90.8 - Cooking (on mule: Shoarma)
- 73.0 - Blacksmithing
- 60.0 - Alchemy
- 48.9 - Goldsmithing
- 39.9 - Woodworking
- 12.4 - Leathercraft

WoW Stormrage EU: Alliance 70 Hunter
#3 Jun 07 2004 at 8:57 AM Rating: Decent
*
109 posts
lol, I didn't want to laugh. But I did.
#4 Jun 07 2004 at 8:58 AM Rating: Decent
21 posts
OMG that was really funny

{good Job}
cant wait till next one
#5 Jun 07 2004 at 9:00 AM Rating: Good
Sage
**
332 posts
Lol thanks! Nothing a author likes better then a person who compliments his work!
____________________________
Alacer
Status: Retired
Job: Samurai
Cerberus
Author of the GM Series http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=10866161529918880&num=270
Author of Kai and Stan go to Rehab
http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=1111481954140564784&num=0
#6 Jun 07 2004 at 9:29 AM Rating: Good
*
78 posts
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/logout
____________________________
-------FFXI---------------
70 BLM/WHM Hume *retired*
#7 Jun 07 2004 at 9:44 AM Rating: Good
Scholar
*
132 posts
LOL

"Bob: Oh god, not another one..
Joe: I took the last one. Your turn.
Bob: **** no! "

I have actually heard this conversation while working a call center in a previous life" 8)


____________________________
Jneal (ARFAN)
World- Ragnarock
Home- Sandoria
Job- RDM
Race- Elvaan
#8 Jun 07 2004 at 10:25 AM Rating: Excellent
Sage
**
332 posts
Vol. 2
subtitled: "The misadventures of bob"

Reference:

() is stuff he thinks.

1 hour after Vol. 1....

*Valkurm Dunes*
Bob: <notsorandomanymoreplayer1>, how may I be of assistance? (why do I have to do this RP ****?)
notsorandomanymoreplayer1: I have a name you know.
Bob: What is it? (god get me out of this)
notsorandomanymoreplayer1: Its Tim.
Bob: Ok, tim, whats the problem?
Tim: Arent you supposed to be all formal?
Bob: How may I be of assistance, adventurer Tim? ( God i want to kill him)
Tim: Well you see that guy over there? He's been there for quite a while.
Bob: Are you referring to Kleidemos that is sitting over there lfg?
Tim: No.
Bob: Are you refering to the group of WARs and MNKs in a 5 man Pt waiting for a WHM to show up?
Tim: No.
Bob: THEN WHO THE **** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!

|
|
|
|

Bob ( I wish).
Bob: Then who may I ask are you refering to?
Tim: The big galka over there.
Bob: The big galka that is lfg? Fatsausage?
Tim: No.
Bob: (OH GOD) Then who?
Tim: The one whos name is in green and has a I.M. next to it.
Bob hits Tim for 90805720398590238 points of damage.

Bob starts casting Warp VI
/t Tim >> Can I get a raise?
Bob casts Warp VI on himself.

Joe: So how'd it go?
Bob: You don't want to know.
*ding-a-ling!*
<Tim> requests assistance against a unhelpful GM call.
____________________________
Alacer
Status: Retired
Job: Samurai
Cerberus
Author of the GM Series http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=10866161529918880&num=270
Author of Kai and Stan go to Rehab
http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=1111481954140564784&num=0
#9 Jun 07 2004 at 12:49 PM Rating: Decent
Avatar
****
4,148 posts
^^ Rate up
____________________________
Mishana: DRG | THF | RDM | NIN
#10 Jun 07 2004 at 12:58 PM Rating: Excellent
*
104 posts
Rofl you made me laugh! It somehow reminded me of THIS monty python scene!


King Arthur: Old woman.
Dennis: Man.
King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I'm 37.
King Arthur: What?
Dennis: I'm 37. I'm not old.
King Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man".
Dennis: Well you could say "Dennis".
King Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.
Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?
King Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked...
Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
King Arthur: Well I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
____________________________
Hi!.
#11 Jun 07 2004 at 1:02 PM Rating: Good
Scholar
**
417 posts
Rate Up !!!! LOL OMGROFL
____________________________

Redry

RDM75/BLM44/WHM46/NIN38


#12 Jun 08 2004 at 1:21 AM Rating: Excellent
Sage
**
332 posts
Thank you! I love making people laugh heheh.



Edited, Tue Jun 8 03:11:05 2004 by Alacer
____________________________
Alacer
Status: Retired
Job: Samurai
Cerberus
Author of the GM Series http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=10866161529918880&num=270
Author of Kai and Stan go to Rehab
http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=1111481954140564784&num=0
#13 Jun 08 2004 at 1:41 AM Rating: Decent
Scholar
***
1,649 posts
*ahem*

XD

Great! Must...have....more~::
____________________________
Ellatrix | Vincere
#14 Jun 08 2004 at 1:47 AM Rating: Good
**
558 posts
if my rating didnt suck so much i would rate you as excellent but ...... since it does ill just tell you that was excellent :P
#15 Jun 08 2004 at 1:55 AM Rating: Decent
Scholar
*
100 posts
Rate ups for making me laugh while I'm going through another night of insomnia.
____________________________
WoW: Kegnar, Proudmoore
Level 60 Dwarf Warrior
Meat shield of <Risen>

FFXI: Vanover, Fairy
Monk 32, Warrior 31, Paladin 26
Bastok rank 5
#16 Jun 08 2004 at 2:14 AM Rating: Excellent
Sage
**
332 posts
Vol. 3

2 days after Vol. 2's events...

*Joe lies on the ground all droggy*
Bob: Yo man wake up.
Joe: huh?
Bob: I'm logging man, its your turn to take shift. I've already cleared 54 calls dude.
Joe: k.. *still droggy*
Bob: Ok, i'm going man.
Joe: ok..
Bob: Alrite cya man.
Joe: Cya.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randommithra1> requests to be taken out of the river in Windhrust.
*30 seconds later*
Joe: ....
*1 minute later*
Joe: Wat the? Where bob?
<randomtarutaru1> is still on the ground from suspension.
<randomtarutaru1> Yo is my suspension over yet?
Joe: Wat?
<randomtarutaru1> Yo is my suspension over yet?
Joe: huh? Oh right, ur that idjeet that tried to make Bob kill a rabbit for you.
<randomtarutaru1> uh yeah. So can I get up yet?
Joe: NO
<randomtarutaru1> oh man c'mon.
Joe: Shuttup!
<randomtarutaru1> oh man c'mon. I'm tired of looking at this wall. just raise me.
Joe: Fine.
Joe starts casting raise on <randomtarutaru1>
Joe casts raise on <randomtarutaru1>.
<randomtarutaru1> Thanks.









Joe hits <notsorandomanymoretarutaru> for 99999 damage.
Joe defeats <notsorandomanymoretarutaru>
<notsorandomanymoretarutaru> falls to the ground.

<notsorandomanymoretarutaru> ***!! WAT WAS THAT FOR!!
Joe: You told me to raise you and I did. Now shuttup. I've got more important things to do.
<notsorandomanymoretarutaru> like wat?
Joe: Wait for GM calls.
*ding-a-ling!*
<galka1> requests assistance against Sea Horror.
Joe: Anytime now....
*ding-a-ling!*
<hume5> requests assistance against a possible bot.
*ding-a-ling!*
Joe: Right about......
*ding-a-ling!*
<sexymithra1> requests to see a GM!
Joe: now!

Joe: Okay cya <notsorandomanymoretarutaru>. Serves you right for... wat was is again?
<notsorandomanymoretarutaru>: NoTHiNG!
*Joe checks GM handy-dandy notebook of all0knowingness*
*ding-a-ling!*
<sexymithra1> requests to see a GM!
Joe: Well you were doing something wrong. Okay i'm off!

*Joe heads to Valkurm Dunes*
Tim: is that a GM
<randomplayer9>: yeah I think so.
Tim: GGMMM!!! Theres a BOT here!!!
Joe: ? (now wheres that mithra)
Tim: This bot right here.
Joe: ?
Tim: This guy. Everytime I talk to him he takes 200 gil from me.
Joe: What this galka?
Tim: Yeah.
Joe starts casting warp II on Tim
Tim: ? wats that
Joe: bye.
Joe casts Warp II on Tim.
Joe: Okay, one down...
/sea all current area.
(There are 923 characters in this area.)
(The above list has been truncated)
Joe: ...922 to go.

<sexymithra1> /sh Help!!
Joe: I'M COMING!@!!
*Joe warps to <sexymithra1>s position*
Joe: Hellooo there...
*Joe examines <sexymithra1>*
<sexymithra1>: heeey....*purr*
Bob steals 720220 gil from Joe
Joe: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY LUNCH MONEY!
Bob: Serves you right! I was hungry that day! I needed that money!
Joe: Well we're even.
Bob: No we're not! But we will be if you give me this mithra.
<sexymithra1>: ?
Joe: Just a sec, hun.
Bob: WaT? shes ur hun now?
Joe: das rite!
*ding-a-ling!*
<fuglygalka1> requests assistance about her "not so fun hole"
Bob: Look! A call! Take it Joe take it!
Joe: Why the **** are you back anyway?
Bob: I got bored of hanging around at home with nothing to do. So I came here to get bored of hanging around at the Jail Cell with you. Then you were gone. So I asked <notsorandomanymoretarutaru> where you were. And he said, "Raise me first." So I did, and he told me you were here. Then I PWNED that stupid little taru and came here.
Joe: Good one!
<sexymithra1>: *purr*
Joe: Okay we'll both stay here then.
Bob: Good call.
*ding-a-ling!*
<fuglygalka2> requests assistance about people not harrasing her.
Joe: So wats the prob there kitty?
<sexymithra1>:Well its just that I needed to see some GM's.

Joe: Just to see us?
Bob: ?
<sexymithra1>: Yeah, to see if GM's were usefull and stuff you know? *wink*
Joe: ( oh god!) course we are....
Bob: ... yyuppp...for a lotta things...
<sexymithra1>: THEN WHY THE **** DONT YOU ANSWER YOUR OTHER GM CALLS YOU LAZY SONS OF A **********
Bob and Joe: !!!!
*<sexymithra1> turns into <GMdev>*
Bob: (oh sh*t)
Joe: (uh oh)
GMdev: You people never answer calls! Blindly following mithra calls! Shame on you!
/t Joe >> yo dude I say we quit this Job.
/t Bob >> yeah man. but before we go lets take him out.
GMdev: blah blah blah! blah blah! blah blah blah blah blah blah!
Joe starts casting Knights of the Round on GMdev
Bob provoked GMdev!
GMdev: I'll kill you Bob!!
GMdev hits Bob for 89347137927601983 points of damage.
Bob: I cant hold him long!
Joe: Almost!
Bob throws a piece of sh*t at GMdev.
Bobs ranged attack scores a critical!
GMdev's face is smeared in sh*t!
Joe: Nice one! I'm done!
Joe casts Knights of the PWNAGE on GMdev.
Knights of the PWNAGE hits GMdev for 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 points of damage.
Knights of the PWNAGE defeats GMdev.
Knights of the PWNAGE dissapers
Bob and Joe: yeah!
GMdev: NOT SO FAST!
Bob and Joe: !!
GMdev: You think I can be defeated by a simple animation?
Bob: yeah.
Joe: yeah.
GMdev: .... then you were wrong!
Joe turns GMdev into King Opo-opo.
Bob sends GMdev turned King Opo-opo to Jail Cell.

Bob: Lets get outta here!
Joe: gogogo!
Bob: sector clear!
Joe: move move move!!
*Bob and Joe exits scene*








King Opo-opo: ?
<notsorandomtarutaru> Can you raise me?
____________________________
Alacer
Status: Retired
Job: Samurai
Cerberus
Author of the GM Series http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=10866161529918880&num=270
Author of Kai and Stan go to Rehab
http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=1111481954140564784&num=0
#17 Jun 08 2004 at 2:21 AM Rating: Decent
Scholar
*
100 posts
And again... I'm either even more tired than I realize or these are genuinely hilarious.
____________________________
WoW: Kegnar, Proudmoore
Level 60 Dwarf Warrior
Meat shield of <Risen>

FFXI: Vanover, Fairy
Monk 32, Warrior 31, Paladin 26
Bastok rank 5
#18 Jun 08 2004 at 2:33 AM Rating: Decent
**
366 posts
LOOOOOOOOOL

rate up dude, that was frikkin hilarious

need more!!!

Edited, Tue Jun 8 03:38:02 2004 by Fragmentation
____________________________
My Character
-==============( WoW )==============-
Character info to come in the future
-=====================================-
Signature and Character Profile will be updated in the future
#19 Jun 08 2004 at 2:35 AM Rating: Decent
29 posts
LOL, i bursted out laughing when they kept ignoreing the fun hole gm call, ROFLMAO
#20 Jun 08 2004 at 2:48 AM Rating: Decent
***
1,059 posts
MAN. I wanna see knights of the PWNAGE. I think that would be Alright.
#21 Jun 08 2004 at 7:12 AM Rating: Excellent
Sage
**
332 posts
Vol. 4 on the way!
____________________________
Alacer
Status: Retired
Job: Samurai
Cerberus
Author of the GM Series http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=10866161529918880&num=270
Author of Kai and Stan go to Rehab
http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=1111481954140564784&num=0
#22 Jun 08 2004 at 5:00 PM Rating: Decent
Scholar
**
417 posts
OMG I LOVE THIS STUFF!!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!
____________________________

Redry

RDM75/BLM44/WHM46/NIN38


#23 Jun 08 2004 at 5:23 PM Rating: Decent
Scholar
**
491 posts
^_^ OMG i havent laughed so hard in a long time..

KEEP IT UP
____________________________
----WoW----Darkspear
Undead~Rougelv60 ~ Smokt
Tauren~Hunterlv60 ~ Hokage
NElf~Hunterlv28 ~ MindVision
----FFXI----Unicorn
64BST - Retired ~
#24 Jun 08 2004 at 5:46 PM Rating: Decent
29 posts
Excellent i say...
____________________________
Ozurr
27WHM/17BLM/7THF/8WAR/2MNK
Asura
---
Fahk
27MNK/15WAR/15WHM/7BLM/5THF
Asura
DELETED =(
#25 Jun 08 2004 at 6:05 PM Rating: Decent
*
169 posts
Those are classic. Great job, couldn't stop laughing while reading this at work lol
____________________________
N: Knightblaze
R: 66 PLD/33 WAR
S: Ramuh
L: {In need of a good Linkshell}
R: Elvaan
B: http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/profile.xml?24100
#26 Jun 09 2004 at 5:16 AM Rating: Decent
**
307 posts
hilarious!
____________________________
Raviel - Rank 10 San d'Oria
#27 Jun 09 2004 at 5:27 AM Rating: Excellent
Sage
**
332 posts
Vol. 4
Subtitled "Taru Card Game GM style"

*Bob is on the chair, leg up on table*
*<notsorandomtarutaru> still on the ground. 3 days have passed*
*Joe enters*
Joe: Just finished suspending yet another harraser.
*Bob ignores him*
Joe: ....?
Bob: yo man look at what I found.
Joe: ?
*Bob shows him a Tarut Card: The King*
Joe: Oh its that thing.
Bob: you know what it is?
Joe: Of course.
Bob: Lol for the love of god, tell me I have no idea. None of the other guys know either.
Joe: Well the official term is "Some random object that is always sold for 9,999,999 gil at people's bazaar".
Bob: ah. why the *** do they do that anyway?
Joe: **** do I know.
Bob: Yo lets go and buy some.
Joe: And abandon post?
<notsorandomtarutaru> OH C"MON!!!! RAISE ME ALREADY!!!
Joe: Sure.
<notsorandomtarutaru> Dont you dare do what you did last time!
Joe: Okay.
Joe steps on <notsorandomtarutaru>'s body.
Joe: okay lets go.
Bob: move move move!
Joe: Sector clear!
Bob: Enemy down!
Joe: Team go!
*Bob and Joe exit scene*

*Our hero's enter Kazhm*
<randomplayer1049> pst pst! its two GMs!
<randomplayer1049'sfriend> wonder what they do here!
<noob124> i dunno! but lets start talking in l337 speak!
<noob124'sfriend> 7ea8 dwag! ( attempt at l337 speak)
Joe starts casting noob-aga.
Joe casts noob-aga.
Bob: Thank god.
Bob: okay lets move on. To the jungle!
*Bob and Joe enter Yuhtunga Jungle*
<noob156> /sh GOB TO ZONE!!
<noob532> /sh GOB TO ZONE!!
<noob1123> /sh GOB TO ZONE!!
<noob11> /sh GOB TO ZONE!!
<noob1> /sh GOB TO ZONE!!
<noob11234> /sh GOB TO ZONE!!
<noob999> /sh GOB TO ZONE!!
<noob169> /sh GOB TO ZONE!!
*8 noobs simultaneously hit the zone line*
*Gob hits zone*
*Gob hits zone*
*Gob hits zone*
*Gob hits zone*
*Gob hits zone*
*Gob hits zone*
*Gob hits zone*
*Gob hits zone*
Bob: lag!
Joe casts Bahamut.
Bahamut: WTF? I was sleeping!
Joe: Oh c'mon man, take out this Gobs.
Bahamut: *** no! I'm going back to sleep!
Bahamut unsummons himself
Gob hits Joe for 0 damage.
Gob hits Joe for 0 damage.
Gob hits Joe for 0 damage.
Gob hits Joe for 0 damage.
Gob hits Joe for 0 damage.
Gob hits Joe for 0 damage.
Gob hits Joe for 0 damage.
Gob hits Joe for 0 damage.
Joe: Oh man. I hate that guy, so lazy.
Bob readies Spinning Blade
Gob takes 9,999 points of damage.
Gob takes 9,999 points of damage.
Gob takes 9,999 points of damage.
Gob takes 9,999 points of damage.
Gob takes 9,999 points of damage.
Gob takes 9,999 points of damage.
Gob takes 9,999 points of damage.
Gob takes 9,999 points of damage.
Gob takes 9,999 points of damage.

Bob: okay now to find some bazaars with cards.
Joe: Oh look heres one!
Joe examines <randomplayer56>
Joe starts browing <randomplayer56>'s bazaar.
<randomplayer56> hOlY! 'tiS a gM c8ting mah bazAAr!
<noob56formallyknownasrandomplaer56> buY mah cARdS!
Joe: Give it to me, or I will kill you.
<noob56>: ...
Bob readies Spinning Blade
<noob56>: Okay okay! I h8 you gM's!
<noob56> wishes to trade with Bob.
<noob56> trades Bob Tarut Card: Death
<noob56> trades Bob Tarut Card: The Fool
<noob56> trades Bob Tarut Card: The Hermit
<noob56> trades Bob Tarut Card: THe King
Bob trades <noob56> a Goblin Bomb
<noob56> WtF!
Bob: okay lets go
Joe: move move move!
<noob56> ...
Bob: gogogo!
BOOM!
Joe: Enemy down!
Bob: Sector Clear.
*Terrorists Win!*
<randomplayerinyuhtungajungle1> ?
*Bob and Joe exit scene*

*Back in Jail Cell*

Joe: Okay, ready?
Bob: yeah!
Joe: Okay first we need 4 players.
Bob: But we only got 2 here, and the other guys are sleeping
<notsorandomanymoretarutaru> I"M RIGHT HERE!!!
Bob: Oh right. Well ur 3 days suspension is over.
<notsorandomanymoretarutaru> ITS BEEN 8 DAYS!
Bob: Oh shuttup.
Joe starts casting Raise XVWI on <notsorandomanymoretarutaru>
<notsorandomanymoretarutaru> you know i have a name.
Bob: what is it?
<notsorandomanymoretarutaru> Kmartaru
Bob: ..ok.
Joe: Still need one more.
Kmartaru: What we going taru do?
Bob starts casting Shiva
Shiva: Sup guys.
/t Joe Nice choice...
*Bob stares at Shiva*
*Joe stares at Shiva*
*Kmartaru stares at the wall*
Shiva: Stop staring!
Shiva: What did you summon me for?
Bob: To find out what these cards do.
Shiva: They do nothing.
Joe: No, its for a card game called "Top-secret Tarut Card Game that only Tarus know how to play"
Bob: You know how to play it Kmartaru?
Kmartaru: No.
Joe: ...ok, then its just "op-Secret Card Game That Only I Know How To Play".
Shiva: Say it already.
Joe: Okay, listen up. I'm about to tell you the most top-secret car-
Kmartaru starts undercutting prices to defeat local shops.
Joe: wtf?
Karmtaru: Sorry i just couldn't resist.
Joe: okay anyway, the rules are simple. Everyone gets randomly dealt a Tarut Card, and also 5 other normal playing cards.
The point of the game is to put down all 5 of your normal cards before the other people do. We take turns, one by one, to put down cards.
Bob: Thats it?
Shiva: Then whoever goes first wins.
Joe: The trick is the Tarut Card, that you have. Each tarut card has a different "special ability".
Joe: But its kinda random, so you never know who wins.

*Tarut Card Game that no one knows how to play BEGINS!*

Joe is dealt Tarut Card: Death
Bob is dealt Tarut Card: The Hermit
Shiva is dealt Tarut Card: The King
Kmartaru is dealt Taru Card: The Fool

*Let the games begin!*

Joe puts down 1st card.
Bob puts down 1st card.
Shiva puts down 1st card.
Kmartaru puts down 3rd card.
Joe: Wat the ****? You put down your first card.
Kmartaru: oh.
Kmrataru puts down 1st card.

Joe puts down 2nd card.
Bob puts down 2nd card.
Shiva puts down 2nd card.
Kmartaru scrathes his head.
Joe: Your supposed to put down a card.
Kmartaru: ?
Kmartaru scratches his head in confusion.


Joe puts down 3rd card.
Bob puts down 3rd card.
Shiva puts down 3rd card.
Kmartaru scrathes his head.
Shiva: This game is boring.

Shiva activates Tarut Card: The King
Shiva is allowed turned into King Opo-opo.
Shiva: ?
Shiva is given a bannana
Shiva: OOH!
Shiva eats the bannana!
Shiva obtains POWER-UP! She is allowed to put down 2 or more cards.
Shiva: WooT! I win!
*Shiva scrathes his head with bannana in her mouth*

Joe: Not so fast!
Joe activates Tarut Card: Death
Joe is allowed to eliminate one opponent.
Joe eliminates Shiva.
Shiva: not fair!

Bob activates Tarut Card: The Hermit
Bob: What the hel is a hermit anyway?
Kmartaru: Methinks itaru is a crab.
Bob is turned into a hermit crab!
Bob is now allowed to snip at the air uselessly!
*Bob snips at the air uselessly*
Bob: ....

Joe: Down to the last round! First to put down another card wins!

Kmartaru activates Tarut Card: The Fool
Joe begins to scratch his balls.
Kmartaru is allowed to say a joke of his choice. Time paused.
Kmartaru: Hmm...
Joe: Go already! I'm stuck in this position!
*Joe looks around in embarrasment*
Kmartaru: I GOT ONE!
Kmartaru: SO funny!
Kmartaru: What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?
Joe: umm...
Bob: *snip* *snip*
Kmartaru: Plymouth Rock!
*Joe is stunned from the lameness for 5 turns*
*Bob is stunned from the lameness for 5 turns*
Kmartaru: wOOt!
Kmartaru: now what do I do?
* 1 Turn passes *
Kmartaru puts down 2nd card.
Kmartaru puts down 3rd card.
Kmartaru puts down 4th card.
Kmartaru puts down 5th card.

Joe: .....
Bob: .....
King Opo-opo: .....









KMARTARU WINS!!!!

Joe: ******.
Bob: That was ***.
*King Opo-Opo turns back into Shiva*
Shiva: ....

Kmartaru: yeah!

Joe: bob..pstpst..whisper...
Bob: uhhuh...yea...pstpst...whisper..
Kmartaru: uhhuh...yeah..pstpst...whisper...
Joe: Stop pretending ur in the conversation!
Kmartaru: Oh sorry. So what do I get for winning?

Bob and Joe uppercuts Kmartaru into the sky!
*Kmartaru's body glimmers like a star as it fades away*
(those of you that have watched anime know wat i mean)

Shiva: lol

Thus ends Vol. 4







____________________________
Alacer
Status: Retired
Job: Samurai
Cerberus
Author of the GM Series http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=10866161529918880&num=270
Author of Kai and Stan go to Rehab
http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=1111481954140564784&num=0
#28 Jun 09 2004 at 5:47 AM Rating: Default
**
362 posts
lame, still it did give me a chuckle or two.
____________________________
"I'm a ninja short and stout, I grab all the loot and hearthstone out.
All the people on Ventrillo scream and shout, I'm the Hunter in full Devout!"

World of Warcraft - Aggramar
Sefirato
#29 Jun 09 2004 at 5:52 AM Rating: Decent
**
303 posts
heh...that was great...my favorite line, for no particual reason...was


<notsorandomtarutaru> Can you raise me?


Oh, that and Tarandor's signature

(Who's cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?)

That...cracks me up everytime I see it...

Edit: ****, that "Can you raise me" doesn't look funny without the you

So, at the end of part three, when the Taru looks at the opo-opo GM and says

"Can you raise me?"

Edited, Wed Jun 9 09:08:36 2004 by Kipsy
____________________________
Warning! Subject displays Excessive Stabbing Disorder, Pyromania, an Obsession with Rare Items, and an Unnatural Attraction to Mandagora! Proceed with Caution, and a Shield! XD

I'm just a really really tall Taru, I swear...

Rank 6 Windurstian Elvaan
Yomi, http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/profile.xml?1260
Server: Quetzalcoatl
#30 Jun 09 2004 at 6:47 AM Rating: Good
Scholar
***
2,094 posts
Dude these are so funny! Keep up the good work. I look forward to seeing more of these in the future. Rate ^ if i could. :(
____________________________
[sm]Retired-75 Whm/37 Blm/37 Smn
~ Midgardsormr Server ~[/sm
#31 Jun 09 2004 at 7:51 AM Rating: Decent
Scholar
**
324 posts
Kmartaru starts undercutting prices to defeat local shops.
Joe: wtf?
Karmtaru: Sorry i just couldn't resist.


lol people came from the other room at work cuz i started laughing. nice creativity lol.
____________________________
http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/profile.xml?15301
Server: Bismarck WM9-2 ZM-complete PM-complete
LS: IRON
Jobs: 75 BLM, 64 DRG, 37 WHM, 37 THF, 37 WAR
Dynamis- all
#32 Jun 09 2004 at 9:41 AM Rating: Good
**
485 posts
Dude, it's obvious what they do when theyre not fighting. They go hang with the pokemon that r in pokemon balls. Pikachu and Ramuh are tight...
____________________________
Character Name: Vangaurd
Server: Titan
Race: Male Hume
Main Job: 55 THF/NIN
http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/profile.xml?36509

AF weapon [o]--AF hands [o]--AF hat [o]--AF legs [o]--AF vest [x]--AF feet [x]
#33 Jun 09 2004 at 12:05 PM Rating: Good
Scholar
**
417 posts
Quote:
Bob: okay now to find some bazaars with cards.
Joe: Oh look heres one!
Joe examines <randomplayer56>
Joe starts browing <randomplayer56>'s bazaar.
<randomplayer56> hOlY! 'tiS a gM c8ting mah bazAAr!
<noob56formallyknownasrandomplaer56> buY mah cARdS!
Joe: Give it to me, or I will kill you.
<noob56>: ...
Bob readies Spinning Blade
<noob56>: Okay okay! I h8 you gM's!
<noob56> wishes to trade with Bob.
<noob56> trades Bob Tarut Card: Death
<noob56> trades Bob Tarut Card: The Fool
<noob56> trades Bob Tarut Card: The Hermit
<noob56> trades Bob Tarut Card: THe King
Bob trades <noob56> a Goblin Bomb
<noob56> WtF!
Bob: okay lets go
Joe: move move move!
<noob56> ...
Bob: gogogo!
BOOM!
Joe: Enemy down!
Bob: Sector Clear.
*Terrorists Win!*
<randomplayerinyuhtungajungle1> ?
*Bob and Joe exit scene*


LOL Classic!!!
____________________________

Redry

RDM75/BLM44/WHM46/NIN38


#34 Jun 09 2004 at 12:13 PM Rating: Good
***
2,804 posts
LOL, the fourth chapter is hilarious, /clap /cheer
____________________________
Taban
#35 Jun 09 2004 at 12:51 PM Rating: Decent
*
184 posts
Wow that is funny
#36 Jun 09 2004 at 5:28 PM Rating: Decent
*
120 posts
More!!!!!!!!!!
#37 Jun 10 2004 at 6:34 AM Rating: Good
Sage
**
332 posts
Lol thanks for the encouragement. Volume 5 coming!
____________________________
Alacer
Status: Retired
Job: Samurai
Cerberus
Author of the GM Series http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=10866161529918880&num=270
Author of Kai and Stan go to Rehab
http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=1111481954140564784&num=0
#38 Jun 10 2004 at 11:37 PM Rating: Decent
Scholar
**
643 posts
ROFL! Rate up. ^^

/bump
____________________________
Mithra
74 RNG/37 NIN/63 THF/69 WHM/34 BLM
LS: OmegaTrinity
"Live by the sword and you'll die by the arrow."
Ranger Equipment

Stabbycat wrote:
peso joke isnt racist its countryist.. mexicans arent made out of pesos its a currency..
#39 Jun 10 2004 at 11:56 PM Rating: Good
***
2,137 posts
Quote:
*Terrorists Win!*


LOL!
____________________________
Skeiron Playtime: 354 days
Mission: WM finished
Expansion: RoZ Complete, PM4-3
BLM:75 WHM:71 BRD:64 NIN 63 THF41 SMN:37
Alexander Server
Linkshell: www.reflectls.com
http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/profile.xml?25657
#40 Jun 11 2004 at 12:23 AM Rating: Decent
**
544 posts
must...stay up...until next VOL. is out...
#41 Jun 11 2004 at 1:16 AM Rating: Decent
*
122 posts
awsome!
favorite lline
Kmartaru starts undercutting prices to defeat local shops.
Joe: wtf?
Karmtaru: Sorry i just couldn't resist.
____________________________
||http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/profile.xml?17782 ||
||WW 69 ||the dark of ||
||Why can't we be friends? ||
#42 Jun 11 2004 at 1:27 PM Rating: Decent
Scholar
**
417 posts
Where is Volume 5?? I need my daily fix!!!
____________________________

Redry

RDM75/BLM44/WHM46/NIN38


#43 Jun 11 2004 at 1:53 PM Rating: Decent
**
793 posts
ROTFLMFAO!!
____________________________
I'm bored.
Are you bored?
Let's be bored together!
*dances with you happily*
^^
#44 Jun 11 2004 at 2:15 PM Rating: Decent
Scholar
*
165 posts
"Bob is turned into a hermit crab!
Bob is now allowed to snip at the air uselessly!
*Bob snips at the air uselessly*
Bob: .... "

lol, that made me choke on a Skittle.
____________________________

#45 Jun 12 2004 at 1:37 AM Rating: Excellent
Sage
**
332 posts
Here comes the much awaited Volume 5. I actually had a couple people ask me to hurry up with it on my server. hehe

Volume 5

*Bob and Joe are in the GM lounge (aka Jail Room)*
Bob: ugh
Joe: wassup?
Bob: Oh nothing, just woke up and have to go on duty
Joe: Same here man.
Kmartaru: Same here man.
Bob: Stop following us!
Joe: Ur still here? How did you get back?
Kmartaru: I dunno. I hit the ceiling and bounced back.
Bob: ...
*GMdev enters*
GMdev: HEY! I thought you quitted?
Bob: Well, we got bored of our real lives, so we came back.
Joe: Yeah. There's really nothing to do in real life, then to come here and do nothing, and get paid.
GMdev: Well, watever it is, I have a job for you.
Kmartaru: For me?
GMdev: Who the **** are you?
Kmartaru: I am Kmartaru
GMdev starts casting Silence on Kmartaru
Kmartaru resists the spell!
GMdev: WtF!
GMdev: Anyway, I have a job for you two.
Kmartaru: Me and who?
GMdev: There is a problem in the dunes and I need you to fix it.
Kmartaru: What problem?
Joe: Whats the prob?
GMdev: The goblins in Valkurm Dunes. Their AI is messed up. So I need you to go there and "become" one.
Kmartaru: You want me to become one?
Bob: You mean you want us to be a Gob and check out the AI on it?
Joe: Then report back?
GMdev: Precisly, joe.
Kmartaru: No problemtaru!
GMdev: Ok, who the **** is this midget.
Bob: Doesnt matter, Joe lets go.
Kmartaru: Okay bob! Lets go!
Joe: StFu!
Kmartaru: Yeah bob!
Joe hits Kmartaru for 934891283 points of damage.
Kmartaru falls to the ground.
Bob: Okay lets go.

*Bob and Joe enter Valkurm Dunes*
Bob: Okay now to find some gobs.
Tim: /sh HELP THERS A FISHING BOT HERE!!!!
Joe: Oh god...
/t GMdev >> Hey! I heard that! You better go help him!
Bob: Oh god...
/t GMdev >> I heard that too!

Bob: Ok, so whats the problem...
Tim: tHiS dUdE hAs BeEn HeRe AlL dAy!!!!!!!!!!!
Joe: ... He's just fishing.
Tim: I wAs HeRE 1 hOuR aGo, AnD hE wAs FiShInG. nOw, He Is StIlL hErE, hE mUsT bE a BoT! ( you have no idea how long that line took me)
Tim: Look, hes right here: Fatsausage.
Joe: This galka?
Tim: YESS!!!
Bob: Hello there, Fatsausage.
Fatsausage: Sup.
*Fatsausage waves*
Tim: HES A BOTT!!! LOOK AT HOW ROBOTIC HIS MOVMENT IS!
Fatsausage: ...
*Tim does the Robo dance to show them what he means*
Joe sends Tim to GM lounge.
Bob: ok.. now to find a gob.
Fatsausage: not that hard, just go to the selbina zoneline.

*Joe and Bob enters the Selbina Gate*
<noob24> Gob to ZONE!
<noob78> Fly to ZONE!
<noob09> HUGE *** TRAIN TO ZONE!
*9 Goblin hits zoneline*
*3 Damselflies hits zoneline*
Joe: ****, I'm too lazy
Joe starts summoning Bahamut
<randomplayer109> WHOA!!! BAHAMUT!!
Bahamut: again?
Joe: I'll pay you this time. Just dont leave.
Bahamut: In what amount?
Joe uses steal
Joe steals all the gil from <randomplayer019>
<randomplayer109> !!!
Joe: Here
Bahamut recieves 782 gil.
Bahamut: ...
Joe: ...
Bob: **** you're poor.
<randomplayer019> Well you would be too if you spent ur last penny on a Amethyst Ring. I mean c'mon. +1 DEX, I'd never miss. How could I resist?
Joe: Those are what? 1k?
<randomplayer109> 2, THOUSAND gil! I mean c'mon. I farmed a long time for that.
Bahamut: ...
Bahamut uses Mega Flare on <randomplayer109>
*You dont want to know what happened to him after that*
Joe: *shudder*
Bob: ... ****.. Thank god you're on my side.
Bahamut: Who said that?
*Bahamut turns to Bob*
Bob: AH!
Joe steals 9283957 gil from Bob
Joe: HERE!
Bob: HEY! STOP THAT!! YOU'VE DONT THAT 3 TIMES IN A WEEK ALREADY!
Joe trades Bahamut 9283957 gil.
Bahamut: Very well.
Bahamut unsummons himself.
Joe: Phew.
*Gobs in the background raping <randomplayers1-9>*

Bob: Ok now to choose a Goblin.
Joe: I CHOOSE YOU, GOBLIN TINKERER!!
Joe: Gob-i-lin, gotta catch'em aaaalll!! I wanna be the very bes-
Bob punches Joe.
Joe: oww... wat was that for?
Bob enters Goblin Leechers body.
Joe enters Goblin Tinkerers body.

*Bob and Joe now are gobs*

Bob: Whoa!
Joe: Whoa!
Kmartaru: Whoa!
Bob: WtF?
Joe: WtF?
Bob: How the hel-
Kmartaru: Sorry I was really bored, so I used the wierd device in the lounge and I gto transported here.
Joe: How long have you been here?
Kmartaru: ooh not that long. Just after you sent Tim to jail.
I was quite startled when he popped in front of me.
Bob throws a Goblin Bomb at Kmartaru.
Kmartaru: nOOOO!!!!
*Kmartaru starts to deactiviate the bomb with his Counter Terrorist Defusal Kit ( for only $9.99!!)*

Bob: Ok, just leave him, I think that ones a dud. He'll be there forever.
Joe: K, lets move.

*Bob and Joe exit Selbina Gate*
Bob: ... Ok...soo...
Joe: What do we do now?
Bob: The dev just said to "become a gob" and fix the prob.
Joe: Hmm...
<randomplayer89>'s ranged attack misses Goblin Mugger.
<goblinmugger> yo! Lets keeeelll!!
Bob: GOGOGGO!
Joe: Bob what are you doing?
Bob: huh? I dunno. I just have this wierd feeling that makes me want to go attack <randomplayer89>
Joe: ?
Joe: ****, I have it too now.
<goblinmugger> KEEEEELLL!!!
Bob: KEEEELLL!!!
Joe: KEEEELLL!!!
Bob hits <randomplayer89> for 24 points of damage.
Joe hits <randomplayer89> for 32 points of damage.
<goblinmugger> hits <randomplayer89> for 29 points of damage.

<randomplayer92> Run dude run!
<randomplayer92> uses Provoke on Bob.
Bob: WHOA!!! I"LL KILL YOU <RANDOMPLAYER92>!!!!!!!!!!
Joe: Stay on the original target man!
Bob: THAT DUDE JUST CALLED MY MOM A FAT-***! I'LL KILL HIM!!
Bob hits <randomplayer92> for 34 points of damage.
Joe: He didnt call you nothin' man!
<randomplayer35> uses Provoke on Joe.
Joe: YOU ******!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!
Bob: See what I mean?
Joe hits <randomplayer35> for 27 points of damage.
<randomplayer35> ZONE ZONE!!
<randomhighlvlwhitemage1> casts Cure III on <randomplayer35>
Joe: JESUS!! DID YOU SEE THAT LIGHT!!! LETS KILL IT!!!
BOB: WHOA!!! LIGHT!!! KEEELLL!!!

*Bob and Joe switches aggro to <randomhighlvlwhitemage1>*
<randomhighlvlwhitemage1> zone idiots! Zone!!
Bob hits <randomplayer92> for 56 points of damage.
Bob: I"LL KILL YA!!!
*<randomplayer1-6> hits zoneline*
Bob: OOH! Look! Its a wild onion!
*Bob starts munching on a wild onion peacefully.*
Joe: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! KILL THEM!!! THEY"RE RIGHT THERE!!
Joe hits <randomhighlvlwhitemage1> for 6 points of damage.
*<randomhighlvlwhitemage1> hits zoneline*
Joe: OOH! Whatcha got there, Bob?
Bob: A wild onion! *munch* *munch*
<goblinmugger> WHAT ARE YOU DOING! KILL THEM ALL!!!
Bob: I dont hate'em anymore.
Joe: I like this onion a lot more! *munch* *munch*
<goblinmugger> FOOLS!!
*<randomplayer74> hits zoneline*
<goblinmugger> Wait a sec.. A onion you say?
Bob: yeah.
<goblinmugger> NICE!! Gimme some! *munch* *munch*

*The Three munch on the onions for 30 minutes, slowly moving away from zoneline since they so full*

*<randomplayer90> gets too close to Joe.*
Joe: KEEELLL!!!!
Bob: ?
Bob: oh, KEEELLL!!!!
<goblinmugger> KEEELLL!!!!
<randomnon-noob3> Oh god... stop bringing them back to the zone! FOOLS!

.
.
.
.
.
.


A dark sidieous creature watches them from the bushes...
<darksidieouscreatureinthebushes> muahhahah......
Kmartaru: Hello there!
<darksidieouscreatureinthebushes> wtF?
Kmartaru: Would you like to buy this Counter-Terrorsit Defusal Kit? For only $9.99 you can save your life, or someone you like!
See this label here? Its the label of absolute quality! Issued only to the highes-quality produc-
<darksidieouscreatureinthebushes> stfu.
Kmartaru: Let me finish!
<darksidieouscreatureinthebushes> hits Kmartaru for 1 point of damage.
<darksidieouscreatureinthebushes> defeats Kmartaru.
Kmartaru falls to the ground.

<darksidieouscreatureinthebushes>: now where was I?
<darksidieouscreatureinthebushes>: Ah yes.
<darksidieouscreatureinthebushes>: muahhahahaha......

To be Continued in Volume 6...
____________________________
Alacer
Status: Retired
Job: Samurai
Cerberus
Author of the GM Series http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=10866161529918880&num=270
Author of Kai and Stan go to Rehab
http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=1111481954140564784&num=0
#46 Jun 12 2004 at 2:04 AM Rating: Good
**
544 posts
Quote:
<randomplayer92> uses Provoke on Bob.
Bob: WHOA!!! I"LL KILL YOU <RANDOMPLAYER92>!!!!!!!!!!


No wonder that leecher cast silence on me...
#47 Jun 12 2004 at 2:13 AM Rating: Good
Scholar
*
100 posts
Ok, I'm now certain that these are funny... I can't stop laughing after the last one. ^^
____________________________
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Meat shield of <Risen>

FFXI: Vanover, Fairy
Monk 32, Warrior 31, Paladin 26
Bastok rank 5
#48 Jun 12 2004 at 2:18 AM Rating: Good
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Thank you. You have brightened a terrible FFXI day.
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75brd 53rng 41rdm 38whm 38mnk 37nin
#49 Jun 12 2004 at 4:22 AM Rating: Good
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737 posts
Awh man, some of the stupidist things in there, lol, but a lot of it makes me crack up...lol love the provoke thing.
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BLM Wardrobe...
Elemental/HNM Outfit: Complete
Enfeeble Outfit: Complete
MAB Outfit: Incomplete
HQ Staves: Complete
Resting Gear: Incomplete
Dark Magic Outfit: Incomplete


#50 Jun 12 2004 at 4:39 AM Rating: Good
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89 posts
Quote:
Tim: HES A BOTT!!! LOOK AT HOW ROBOTIC HIS MOVMENT IS!


It's funny, because I can see someone actually believing this.
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Soo much FFXI, so little time
#51 Jun 12 2004 at 5:12 AM Rating: Good
12 posts
First time that I have seen this and I love it ^__^
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--Ugg the Galka dude
--Unicorn
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