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What GM's do in thier spare time vol. 1Follow

#1 Jun 07 2004 at 8:51 AM Rating: Excellent
**
332 posts

Lol. I was browsing the forums and an idea struck my mind. What do GM's do while they're not on call duty? Do they just "hang"?
So i made my own version:

Characters:
GMbob (refered to as bob)
GMjoe (refered to as joe)

*2 GM's in the jail place*
Bob: Hello there fellow adventurer.
Joe: Oh shaddup with the RP **** man. We off duty.
Bob: Oh right.
Joe: /isbored
Bob: Yo, you know another nOOb came up and asked me if I can kill a rabbit just to show'em?
Joe: lol
Bob: I mean seriously, I have better use of my time! Theres tons of people out there that I need to save! People out there that are stuck in the rivers and **** ya know?
*ding-a-ling!*
Joe: Yo its a call.
*<randomplayer1> calls for assistance agaisnt a possible bot>*
Bob: Oh god, not another one..
Joe: I took the last one. Your turn.
Bob: Hell no!

*GM FIGHT!!!*

Bob hits Joe for 198 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 201 points of damage.
Bob starts casting Fire XVI on Joe
Joe tosses a piece of **** at Bob.
Bob: WTF!!
Bobs spell is interrupted.
Joe scores a critical hit!
Bob takes 314 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
*ding-a-ling*
<randomplayer2> requests assitance against harrasment.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 666 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 325 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomgalka1> requests to see a GM for matters including a sausage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 673 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 133 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randommithra1> requests assistance against <randomhume1-6> about her "fun hole"
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 666 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 325 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 673 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 133 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomhume1-6> requests assistance against <randommithra1> that refuses to show them her "fun hole"
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer3> requests assitance against possible bot.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer7> requests to see a GM about <randomtarutaru1> trainging gobs to dunes entrance.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer8> requests assistance against a possible bot.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer10> requests assistance against a possible bot.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer90> requests assistance against a possible bot.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer47> request assitance against harrasment.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 666 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 325 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 673 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 133 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 666 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 325 points of damage.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer4> requests assitance in Bastok.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 673 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 133 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randomplayer5> requests to see a GM defeat a bunny.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 666 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 325 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 666 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 325 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.

*<randomtarutaru1> enters jail scene>*

Randomtarutaru1: um... excuse me...

Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 673 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 133 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 666 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 325 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.

Randomtarutaru1: Umm I was send here...

Bob: Wat is it!! We're in the middle of a epic battle! ... biznitch!
Joe: Thats right! That ******* only has 128904719564 hp before he dies! whereas I have 20195701340192401!! I will win!
Bob: Wait let me check what randomtarutaru1 has done...
*Bob checks GM handy-dandy notebook of all-knowingness*
Joe scores a critical hit!
Bob takes 1095 points of damage!
Bob: you *****!
Bob hits Joe for 124 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 352 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 653 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 361 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 415 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 279 points of damage.
Bob hits Joe for 673 points of damage.
Joe hits Bob for 133 points of damage.

Randomtarutaru1: DUde!!!
Joe: okok, sorry. I'll leave you alone.
*Bob returns to checking GM handy-dandy notebook of all-knowingness*
Joe steals 72020 gil from Bob.
Bob: WTF!!! STOP IT!!! THAT WAS MY LUNCH MONEY!!!
Joe: lol. Okay sorry, I couldn't resist.
Bob: ugh. Ok randomtarutaru1. I see that you have intentionally trained mobs to the zone to kill people. I'm afraid thats against the POS.
Randomtarutaru1: TOS?
Bob: Right...whatever. Ok now what do I do again?
Joe: You give him a warning.
Bob: oh right. ok. I hereby sentance you to not do it ever again, or I will personally come and PWN you. ok?
Joe: No its supposed to be where you suspend him.
Bob: oh. ok i suspend you for 3 days then.
Randomtarutaru1: damn.... but can i ask one favor?
Bob: What.
Randomtarutaru1: Can you kill a rabbit for me so I can take a quick screen?

Bob hits Randomtarutaru1 for 910294810359713571569183013948 points of damage.
Bob defeats Randomtarutaru1.
/t Randomtarutaru1 >> Can you raise me?
Randomtarutaru1 >> Fug no! Now **** off!

*GM FIGHT CONTINUES!!!*
Joe scores a critical hit!
Bob takes 1490109 points of damage!
Joe: Fu*k man! Stop doing taht!
*ding-a-ling!*
*<notsorandomanymoreplayer1> requests assistance against possible bot.*
Joe begins to summon Knights of the Round
Bob: you fuggin cheater!
Bob tosses a piece of **** at Joe.
Bobs ranged attack misses Joe.
Knights of the roung PWNS Bob for 7777777777777777777 points of damage.
Bob falls to the ground.

Joe starts casting Raise VIXWI on Bob.
Bob: I dont need that shiz!
*ding-a-ling!*
*<notsorandomanymoreplayer1> requests assistance against possible bot.*
Bob: Fine fine, off I go.














/t Randomtarutaru1 >> Can you raise me?


Thus ends Vol. 1

Hope you enjoyed it!




Edited, Wed Sep 8 08:59:31 2004 by Alacer

Edited, Wed Sep 8 09:02:05 2004 by Alacer
#2 Jun 07 2004 at 8:52 AM Rating: Decent
LOL ae you bored? hehe
#3 Jun 07 2004 at 8:57 AM Rating: Decent
lol, I didn't want to laugh. But I did.
#4 Jun 07 2004 at 8:58 AM Rating: Decent
21 posts
OMG that was really funny

{good Job}
cant wait till next one
#5 Jun 07 2004 at 9:00 AM Rating: Good
**
332 posts
Lol thanks! Nothing a author likes better then a person who compliments his work!
#6 Jun 07 2004 at 9:29 AM Rating: Good
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/sh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! /rest
/logout
#7 Jun 07 2004 at 9:44 AM Rating: Good
*
132 posts
LOL

"Bob: Oh god, not another one..
Joe: I took the last one. Your turn.
Bob: Hell no! "

I have actually heard this conversation while working a call center in a previous life" 8)


#8 Jun 07 2004 at 10:25 AM Rating: Excellent
**
332 posts
Vol. 2
subtitled: "The misadventures of bob"

Reference:

() is stuff he thinks.

1 hour after Vol. 1....

*Valkurm Dunes*
Bob: <notsorandomanymoreplayer1>, how may I be of assistance? (why do I have to do this RP ****?)
notsorandomanymoreplayer1: I have a name you know.
Bob: What is it? (god get me out of this)
notsorandomanymoreplayer1: Its Tim.
Bob: Ok, tim, whats the problem?
Tim: Arent you supposed to be all formal?
Bob: How may I be of assistance, adventurer Tim? ( God i want to kill him)
Tim: Well you see that guy over there? He's been there for quite a while.
Bob: Are you referring to Kleidemos that is sitting over there lfg?
Tim: No.
Bob: Are you refering to the group of WARs and MNKs in a 5 man Pt waiting for a WHM to show up?
Tim: No.
Bob: THEN WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!

|
|
|
|

Bob ( I wish).
Bob: Then who may I ask are you refering to?
Tim: The big galka over there.
Bob: The big galka that is lfg? Fatsausage?
Tim: No.
Bob: (OH GOD) Then who?
Tim: The one whos name is in green and has a I.M. next to it.
Bob hits Tim for 90805720398590238 points of damage.

Bob starts casting Warp VI
/t Tim >> Can I get a raise?
Bob casts Warp VI on himself.

Joe: So how'd it go?
Bob: You don't want to know.
*ding-a-ling!*
<Tim> requests assistance against a unhelpful GM call.
#9 Jun 07 2004 at 12:49 PM Rating: Decent
****
4,148 posts
^^ Rate up
#10 Jun 07 2004 at 12:58 PM Rating: Excellent
Rofl you made me laugh! It somehow reminded me of THIS monty python scene!


King Arthur: Old woman.
Dennis: Man.
King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I'm 37.
King Arthur: What?
Dennis: I'm 37. I'm not old.
King Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man".
Dennis: Well you could say "Dennis".
King Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.
Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?
King Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked...
Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
King Arthur: Well I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
#11 Jun 07 2004 at 1:02 PM Rating: Good
**
417 posts
Rate Up !!!! LOL OMGROFL
#12 Jun 08 2004 at 1:21 AM Rating: Excellent
**
332 posts
Thank you! I love making people laugh heheh.



Edited, Tue Jun 8 03:11:05 2004 by Alacer
#13 Jun 08 2004 at 1:41 AM Rating: Decent
***
1,649 posts
*ahem*

XD

Great! Must...have....more~::
#14 Jun 08 2004 at 1:47 AM Rating: Good
if my rating didnt suck so much i would rate you as excellent but ...... since it does ill just tell you that was excellent :P
#15 Jun 08 2004 at 1:55 AM Rating: Decent
*
100 posts
Rate ups for making me laugh while I'm going through another night of insomnia.
#16 Jun 08 2004 at 2:14 AM Rating: Excellent
**
332 posts
Vol. 3

2 days after Vol. 2's events...

*Joe lies on the ground all droggy*
Bob: Yo man wake up.
Joe: huh?
Bob: I'm logging man, its your turn to take shift. I've already cleared 54 calls dude.
Joe: k.. *still droggy*
Bob: Ok, i'm going man.
Joe: ok..
Bob: Alrite cya man.
Joe: Cya.
*ding-a-ling!*
<randommithra1> requests to be taken out of the river in Windhrust.
*30 seconds later*
Joe: ....
*1 minute later*
Joe: Wat the? Where bob?
<randomtarutaru1> is still on the ground from suspension.
<randomtarutaru1> Yo is my suspension over yet?
Joe: Wat?
<randomtarutaru1> Yo is my suspension over yet?
Joe: huh? Oh right, ur that idjeet that tried to make Bob kill a rabbit for you.
<randomtarutaru1> uh yeah. So can I get up yet?
Joe: NO
<randomtarutaru1> oh man c'mon.
Joe: Shuttup!
<randomtarutaru1> oh man c'mon. I'm tired of looking at this wall. just raise me.
Joe: Fine.
Joe starts casting raise on <randomtarutaru1>
Joe casts raise on <randomtarutaru1>.
<randomtarutaru1> Thanks.









Joe hits <notsorandomanymoretarutaru> for 99999 damage.
Joe defeats <notsorandomanymoretarutaru>
<notsorandomanymoretarutaru> falls to the ground.

<notsorandomanymoretarutaru> ***!! WAT WAS THAT FOR!!
Joe: You told me to raise you and I did. Now shuttup. I've got more important things to do.
<notsorandomanymoretarutaru> like wat?
Joe: Wait for GM calls.
*ding-a-ling!*
<galka1> requests assistance against Sea Horror.
Joe: Anytime now....
*ding-a-ling!*
<hume5> requests assistance against a possible bot.
*ding-a-ling!*
Joe: Right about......
*ding-a-ling!*
<sexymithra1> requests to see a GM!
Joe: now!

Joe: Okay cya <notsorandomanymoretarutaru>. Serves you right for... wat was is again?
<notsorandomanymoretarutaru>: NoTHiNG!
*Joe checks GM handy-dandy notebook of all0knowingness*
*ding-a-ling!*
<sexymithra1> requests to see a GM!
Joe: Well you were doing something wrong. Okay i'm off!

*Joe heads to Valkurm Dunes*
Tim: is that a GM
<randomplayer9>: yeah I think so.
Tim: GGMMM!!! Theres a BOT here!!!
Joe: ? (now wheres that mithra)
Tim: This bot right here.
Joe: ?
Tim: This guy. Everytime I talk to him he takes 200 gil from me.
Joe: What this galka?
Tim: Yeah.
Joe starts casting warp II on Tim
Tim: ? wats that
Joe: bye.
Joe casts Warp II on Tim.
Joe: Okay, one down...
/sea all current area.
(There are 923 characters in this area.)
(The above list has been truncated)
Joe: ...922 to go.

<sexymithra1> /sh Help!!
Joe: I'M COMING!@!!
*Joe warps to <sexymithra1>s position*
Joe: Hellooo there...
*Joe examines <sexymithra1>*
<sexymithra1>: heeey....*purr*
Bob steals 720220 gil from Joe
Joe: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY LUNCH MONEY!
Bob: Serves you right! I was hungry that day! I needed that money!
Joe: Well we're even.
Bob: No we're not! But we will be if you give me this mithra.
<sexymithra1>: ?
Joe: Just a sec, hun.
Bob: WaT? shes ur hun now?
Joe: das rite!
*ding-a-ling!*
<fuglygalka1> requests assistance about her "not so fun hole"
Bob: Look! A call! Take it Joe take it!
Joe: Why the hell are you back anyway?
Bob: I got bored of hanging around at home with nothing to do. So I came here to get bored of hanging around at the Jail Cell with you. Then you were gone. So I asked <notsorandomanymoretarutaru> where you were. And he said, "Raise me first." So I did, and he told me you were here. Then I PWNED that stupid little taru and came here.
Joe: Good one!
<sexymithra1>: *purr*
Joe: Okay we'll both stay here then.
Bob: Good call.
*ding-a-ling!*
<fuglygalka2> requests assistance about people not harrasing her.
Joe: So wats the prob there kitty?
<sexymithra1>:Well its just that I needed to see some GM's.

Joe: Just to see us?
Bob: ?
<sexymithra1>: Yeah, to see if GM's were usefull and stuff you know? *wink*
Joe: ( oh god!) course we are....
Bob: ... yyuppp...for a lotta things...
<sexymithra1>: THEN WHY THE HELL DONT YOU ANSWER YOUR OTHER GM CALLS YOU LAZY SONS OF A **********
Bob and Joe: !!!!
*<sexymithra1> turns into <GMdev>*
Bob: (oh sh*t)
Joe: (uh oh)
GMdev: You people never answer calls! Blindly following mithra calls! Shame on you!
/t Joe >> yo dude I say we quit this Job.
/t Bob >> yeah man. but before we go lets take him out.
GMdev: blah blah blah! blah blah! blah blah blah blah blah blah!
Joe starts casting Knights of the Round on GMdev
Bob provoked GMdev!
GMdev: I'll kill you Bob!!
GMdev hits Bob for 89347137927601983 points of damage.
Bob: I cant hold him long!
Joe: Almost!
Bob throws a piece of sh*t at GMdev.
Bobs ranged attack scores a critical!
GMdev's face is smeared in sh*t!
Joe: Nice one! I'm done!
Joe casts Knights of the PWNAGE on GMdev.
Knights of the PWNAGE hits GMdev for 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 points of damage.
Knights of the PWNAGE defeats GMdev.
Knights of the PWNAGE dissapers
Bob and Joe: yeah!
GMdev: NOT SO FAST!
Bob and Joe: !!
GMdev: You think I can be defeated by a simple animation?
Bob: yeah.
Joe: yeah.
GMdev: .... then you were wrong!
Joe turns GMdev into King Opo-opo.
Bob sends GMdev turned King Opo-opo to Jail Cell.

Bob: Lets get outta here!
Joe: gogogo!
Bob: sector clear!
Joe: move move move!!
*Bob and Joe exits scene*








King Opo-opo: ?
<notsorandomtarutaru> Can you raise me?
#17 Jun 08 2004 at 2:21 AM Rating: Decent
*
100 posts
And again... I'm either even more tired than I realize or these are genuinely hilarious.
#18 Jun 08 2004 at 2:33 AM Rating: Decent
**
366 posts
LOOOOOOOOOL

rate up dude, that was frikkin hilarious

need more!!!

Edited, Tue Jun 8 03:38:02 2004 by Fragmentation
#19 Jun 08 2004 at 2:35 AM Rating: Decent
LOL, i bursted out laughing when they kept ignoreing the fun hole gm call, ROFLMAO
#20 Jun 08 2004 at 2:48 AM Rating: Decent
MAN. I wanna see knights of the PWNAGE. I think that would be Alright.
#21 Jun 08 2004 at 7:12 AM Rating: Excellent
**
332 posts
Vol. 4 on the way!
#22 Jun 08 2004 at 5:00 PM Rating: Decent
**
417 posts
OMG I LOVE THIS STUFF!!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!
#23 Jun 08 2004 at 5:23 PM Rating: Decent
**
491 posts
^_^ OMG i havent laughed so hard in a long time..

KEEP IT UP
#24 Jun 08 2004 at 5:46 PM Rating: Decent
Excellent i say...
#25 Jun 08 2004 at 6:05 PM Rating: Decent
Those are classic. Great job, couldn't stop laughing while reading this at work lol
#26 Jun 09 2004 at 5:16 AM Rating: Decent
hilarious!
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