Kmartaru: I.. have a cunning plan..
Bob: ... I dont want to hear it.
*Kmartaru gives a very cute and sad face*
Bob: Oh alright
Kmartaru: The solution-lution is a simple one. What we do is phone-call Bahamut, and tell him to eat the ugly big person outside.
Bob: oh yeah! His wounds should have been healed long ago.
<Bahamutsvoicemail>: Hellooo. You have reached my number. I am probably here right now, but I dont give a sh*t about whoever you are so I'm not going to answer. If its important, you'll call again after leaving a pointless message. If you feel like leaving one anyone, then go ahead and waste your time. But if you call more then three times I will eat you. ALIVE.
Bob: GET THE FUK ON THE PHONE YOU LAZY ASS WIPING DRAGON! ITS ME BOB! I KNOW YOUR THERE!!! I KNOWW!!!
Bahamut: .. what is it.
Bob: We got captured by a big ugly giant. I want you to come to <po> and eat him.
Bob: Woops sorry. I meant (G-3)
Bahamut: Well you know what, I'm on strike.
Bahamut: Thats right. I'm tired of being your bitch, at your beck and call when I could eat you anytime I want. I like it here at Oracles house better. Theres cookies and kids to play with, a big house, money, woman, and cookies. Did I mention coo-
Bob: yes you did.
Bob: Fine, be that way.
Bob: Well there goes our only chance.
Kmartaru: ha HA! I know what to do! We should turn into a rock.
Bob: .. a rock.
Kmartaru: Yes, you know the hard grey thin-
Bob: I KNOW WHAT A ROCK IS.
Kmartaru: Yay, then we both know-wo what we do.
*4 seconds pass*
Kmartaru: Well what you wait for?
Bob: So what do we do after turning into a rock....
Kmartaru: Then we hide in the corner and pretend like a stone! pffftt.. thats an obvious one-taru. Even measy-weasy know.
*Bob punches Kmartaru in the face*
Bob: Shh.. we must not let the giant overhear us plotting.
Kmartaru: You have plan-wan?
Bob: Not as such..
Kmartaru: Good. Because I.. have a even more cunning-wunning plan. muahahahahha!!
*Kmartaru does the Panic Dance*
*Kmartaru claps his hands*
*Kmartaru gives a triumphant cry!*
Bob: .. ugh... my brain cells are deterieroting from just standing close to this buffoon.
Kmartaru: ok, ok. What we do is.. we befriend the big nice giant who give me watermelon, then we kill big un-nice giant who put us in roomie!!
Bob: The "big nice giant" IS the "big un-nice giant who put us in roomie".
Bob: AH HA!
Bob: Your plan just might work...
************* Midnight ********************
*Bob starts clawing at the lock on the jail cell*
<ancientbeast>: Me catch you trying to escape! Har har!
Bob: What crime is it to try to escape certain death when you have commited no crime.
<ancientbeast>: Shuttup, me no listen you.
<ancientbeast>: I’m going to stand right here, don’t even think leaving.
*<ancientbeast> sits down right in front of the cell *
Bob: Anyways.. so…
Kmartaru: The time is now! Lets spring into action!
*Kmartaru wraps his hand around himself, curls into a ball and takes out a grey blankey*
Kmartaru: *whisper*c’mon! take this camoflauging cloak!*whisper*
Kmartaru: Now, to jump into the cor-
Bob(loudvoice): So.. I saw this really beautiful giant in town when we passed by..
*<ancientbeast> pretends to be asleep, his ears shoot upwards*
Bob(loudvoice): She had a great big beard, hairy arms and a gigantic body.
*<ancientbeast> chuckles secretly*
Bob(loudvoice): And she looked mighty healthy to me..
*<ancientbeast> gives a great big smile*
*********** Morning ******************
Bob: So you gonna kill us now?
<ancientbeast>: actually… little ploy no work…
Bob: What ploy
Kmartaru: What ploy
<ancientbeast>: Pretend to be rock trick! Me no fall for noobish tricks!
Kmartaru: So now-taru we die?
*Kmartaru does the panic dance!*
<ancientbeast>: noo.. me free you and go with you to town. Then you will show me beauty. When I see her, you will get your “item”
Bob: Ah crap.
<ancientbeast>: Me super lonely these couple hundreds of years…
Bob: There is just one problem.
Bob: Team Faggot has captured our friend Joe who is the only person who knows where she is.
<ancientbeast>: No problem.
<ancientbeast>: TEM FUUUGGGUUTT!!!
Tefa: Yes sir!
Amggot: Yes sir!
<ancientbeast>: Bring back Joe!
Tefa & Amggot: Sir yes sir!
*10 minutes later*
Joe: BOB!! OMFG!! SAV-
Joe: whatever you say boss
<ancientbeast>: Tem fuggut, go now.
Tefa & Amggot: Will do command!
*The two exit scene*
<ancientbeast>: Now go town.
*The four start walking down them mountain*
Bob: Dude what happened to you?
Joe: You don’t wanna know man
Bob: C’mon man
Joe: … they kept making me… eat…
<Randomsalesman1> Nuts! Nuts for sale! Nuts +1 for only $2.00 more!
Bob: C’mon man, you’ve been stuttering for 2 hours straight.
<Randomsalesman9> Hotdogs! Fresh Hotdogs!
Joe: eat.. cookies..
Bob: oh big deal.
Joe: but there was a LOT of them! They kept feeding them to me! I think I wont eat another cookie in my life…
*Joe blows his nose*
Bob: Oh god.
Kmartaru: Long time no see! So busyness good?
Walmartaru: Busyness super good! Me selling lotsa lotsa stufftaru!
Kmartaru: Me tootaru!
Walmartaru: I sell Hotdogs and Cookies
Walmartaru: and plastic and garbage and canned soup and canned food and canned meat and spam and fruits and apples and oranges and bananas and lotsa lotsa stufftaru!
Kmartaru: Like whataru?
Walmartaru: like pencils and pencil sharpeners and computers and photos and cameras and tables and furniture and desks and chairs and magazines and trees and food and cookies
Walmartaru: and real estate and bags and animals and pets too! What about you!
Kmartaru: lotsa lotsa stuff! Like-
Kmartaru: My friend is very meantaru, ok see you soon walmartaru!
Walmartaru: Bye! May your busyness be super-duper goodtaru!
<ancientbeast>: Ok, where beauty.
Bob: uh.. where was he Joe
Joe: Say what?
Bob: You know… the beauty
Joe: That mithra we sa-
Bob(clenchedteeth): noo.. the giant beauty
Joe: OH! He went this way
*Joe points in <randomdirection1>*
Bob: Divert his attention while I make a call
Kmartaru: Sir yes sirreebob!
Kmartaru: WHOA! LOOK OVER THERE!!
Kmartaru: pst pst.. do it nowtaru!
Joe: Well beast, let me describe this beauty to you
Bob: ..yeah.. please… last… ime..
Joe: Yeah so she was like totally awesome
Bob: beard… wig… tail..
Joe: You know the whole package
Bob: … monster.. eat’em..
Joe: Yeah you know the drill when it comes to beauties don’t you! You beast! Hahaha
Bob: Okay its done
Joe: What we do now?
Bob: Lead him to the plains
*1 hour later*
<ancientbeast> WHERE BEAUTY! ME NO WAIT LONGER!!!
Bob: Just wait, this is where we saw her
Bob: Here he..uh .. she comes!
Bahamut: Alright, where my gil and cookie
Bahamut: And is this the beast?
<ancientbeast>: Here take “item”!
*<ancientbeast> throws the glitch to Bob*
Bum bum bum buum bum bum buum bum buuum!
Bahamut: OMFG!!! GET HIM OFF ME!! GET HI-
Bob: Hurry! Lets get outta here!
Gmdev: Hurry back to the lounge! Theres not a moment to lose!
To be continued…