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Crazy's crazy realm of craziness... Vol 2Follow

#1 May 05 2004 at 10:28 AM Rating: Excellent
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294 posts
Well, volume 2 is coming out much ahead of schedule (I got inspiration for a new episode and I have time so I feel somewhat obligated to write it.) Enjoy! <^_^>

Not-quite-legal disclaimer: This thread is intended to make you laugh. This is not a rant or flame thread, nor is it intended to offend. The opinions expressed here do not necessarily reflect that of ffxi.allakhazam.com or my imaginary friends who produced this thread.

Today's episode: scroll woes (or the never ending quest to obtain more mystical power at the cost of self and mog safe/bank account/wallet/checkbook/whateverelseyouusetostoremoney)

*a WHM, a BLM, and a RDM are standing at the local AH*

BLM: Man, I can't believe the price of Drain... a bargain at 950k

RDM: You think that's bad? Check out the price of dispel- 23 million

WHM: Please, those are nothing compared to the price of Erase... it's up to 67 million gil now! /cry

*DRK walks up to the AH*

DRK: hey guys, what's up?

WHM: nothin, just buyin spells.

DRK: Oh man, I can't believe Bio 2 is gonna cost me 300k!
*DRK is glared at by several mages*
DRK: What did I say? ... ...
*DRK slowly backs away... then breaks of at a sprint*

RDM: stupid melee jobs... they have it easy

BLM: yeah, no kidding. They get to use their armor and sell it back when they are done with it. Once we use our scrolls they are gone forever... one big gil sink >_<

DRG (who happened to be standing nearby): Yeah, but you get to use your spells forever, you never need to get rid of them and upgrade...

Random"Leet"whoHappensToBePassingBy: OMG UR MOM!!! STFU n00b!

WHM: True, but we have to buy equipment also, the spells just add to the cost, and we never get that back.

*BRD walks up*
BRD: man, they are out of the scroll I need!

RDM: how much does it cost?

BRD: 3.5k

*WHM, BLM, and RDM burst out laughing*

BRD: yeah, whatever guys, my scrolls are just as expensive as most of yours *walks away*

*NIN walks up to AH*

BLM: *mumbling* NIN scrolls are nothing compared to what we have to buy...

NIN: *ears perk up* I heard that! At least you don't have to buy all these ninja tools every time you want to cast a spell. I spent 3 million on utsusemi plus 100k per stack of shihei... you have it easy...

*NIN storms off*

DRG: Mages may have to spend lots of money on spells, but at least you get invited to parties. There is really no substitute for a WHM or RDM (at higher levels) and for elemental damage, you can't top BLMs. Melee all have to fight for party slots.

WHM: dammit, I forgot to turn off anon... too many pt invites... sorry DRG, what did you just say?

DRG: ...
BLM: lol
RDM: LOL
RandomLeet: ROFLMAOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL U R N00B!

*RNG walks up to AH*
RNG: *grumbling* upgrade this you stupid piece of *grumble grumble* mother *grumble*

BLM: What's got him all pissed off?

RNG: Stupid cookie cutter elitists forcing me to buy a peacock charm, winged boots, emporer's hairpin, hawkers knives, a 300 million gil bow and arrows to top it all off...

WHM Oh yeah, well to keep my spells updated I have to spen-

RNG: CAN IT! I am spending on 1 piece of gear what you will spend on all your spells for your entire career!

RDM: *puts on pouty face* Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays

*RNG shoots RDM a glare that could kill a blind guy*

RDM: Ummm... I think I forgot to uhh... uh... I gotta go check on my plants before they die...

WHM: You started gardening?

RDM: Ummmm... uhhh... yeeeaaahhhh... ... ... *runs off as fast as he can*

*RNG storms off to take out his frustration on some poor hapless NM*

DRG: And who says non- spellcasters have it easy?

WHM: Bite me!

*DRG sics pet wyvern on WHM*

WHM: AAAHHH!!! GET IT OFF ME!!! SOMEONE PROVOKE IT!!! AAAAH!!!

DRG: What? can't even handle a little flying blue rat?
*wyvern stops attacking WHM and gives DRG a very sad look*
DRG: Oh, I'm sorry baby, I didn't really mean it! I was just joking to make fun of Mr. WHM here.
*wyvern mopes off and DRG goes after it*

WHM: good riddance! *casts cure XXVICLMMNOP* Much better!

SMN: Hey guys, what did I miss?

BLM: Not much... just the usual.

WHM: ...

SMN: Gotta get Erase for my WHM subjob >_<

WHM: Oh, you too? At least you don't have to pay for your summons.

SMN: Pay? Noooo, I don't have to pay... I just had to spend 45 years getting to lvl 70 JUST so I could get the avatars so I can actually level the job I wanted! And now those @$$clowns at SEX (SquareEniX for those who didnt get it and/or didnt read my last volume) made it possible to get the summons as a lvl 20 summoner!!!!! I am not UBER 133T any more!!! /cry

BLM: Hahahahahahaha sucker!

SMN: hey, don't make fun of me... you're making me angry... you won't like me when I'm angry...
*SMN changes into a huge hideous hunched over figure*

BLM: hey, I thought you were supposed to summon stuff, not turn into stuff... stupid little tarutaru

WHM: Uhhh... BLM... I dont think you should **** him off like that...

SMN: RAUURRRGH!!! SMASHY TIME!!!!!

BLM: O.O oh crap...
*BLM starts casting warp*
BLM: Later guys, I think I hear my moogle calling me!
*BLM casts Warp*
*BLM vanishes*

Randomn00b: OMG DID YOU SEE THAT??? THAT GUY UNLOCKED A NEW JOB! HE'S A SHAPECHANGER!!! I'M GONNA GO POST THIS ON EVERY MESSAGE BOARD EVER CREATED, EVEN IF IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS GAME!!!

SMN: ME HATE NOOBS!!! SMASH!!!

Randomn00b: OMG!!! UR MOM! I can take you out, you big green... ... ... ... thing!
*SMN tears Randomn00b to shreds and procedes to Valkurm Dunes to pulverize many many many many many Goblins*

DRG: *carries wyvern back* I'm sorry, baby, I'll be more careful about what I say, I don't wanna hurt your feelings like that ever again... Hey, where did everybody go?

WHM: Who cares? I'm still 345 million gil behind on my spells, I need to make some money.

*Galka SMN walks up*
GLKSMN: Hey sexy WHM, I done hear you wan maek sum money

WHM: ummm... money is good... you can never have too much...

GLKSMN: I sav much gills not buying no spells, I just use pritty bloo glowing squirel thingie... me have gills to give you but you got come me with /grin

DRG: O.O OMG... I think I'll be traumatized for life...
*DRG covers his infant wyvern's innocent eyes and ears*

WHM: Ummm... ummm... you know, on second thought, I don't really need those spells after all... *nervous laughter*

GLKSMN: Oh, dun be dat way. *Grabs little tarutaru WHM and carries him back to mog house*

DRG: O.O this is all just a bad dream, this is all just a bad dream... *the horrible truth sets in* ... ... ... OOOOOMMMMMGGGGGGG!!!!!! hgc7ynu7hjkgy876y
*DRG jumps from Lu Rude Gardens in jeuno all the way to Qufim island... wyvern flies down and licks up the mess*

Wow... that sure did take a pretty demented twist at the end lol I really should get some sleep... Hey! What are you doing? AAAAAAHHHHH STOP! GET IT OFF!!! SOMEONE VOKE PLZZZZZZ!!!!!
*is attacked by a wyvern who has somehow aquired a taste for human flesh*
#2 May 05 2004 at 10:43 AM Rating: Decent
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428 posts
Hilarious stuff Crazyirishman !!!

I wish I could come up with some original stories myself /sigh.

You make me feel like I'm playing the game at work - priceless

There is nothing better to make the day go by fast :)

Keep up the excellent work.


edited for a typo - duh

Edited, Wed May 5 11:54:24 2004 by Neera
#3 May 05 2004 at 10:48 AM Rating: Decent
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294 posts
I'm just glad you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them. Also, if you are bored at work and you REALLY need something to do, in each of my most recent posts (this one, crazy realm of crazy vol 1, and how to win DRGs and influence people, I made small references to different things such as Trigun or Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy and whatnot. I'm not gonna give away my secrets, but they are there and so far, nobody has commented on them... yet...

<^_^> anyway, enjoy my stories and try to get at least some work done today ;)
#4 May 05 2004 at 10:51 AM Rating: Good
Smiley: lol Good work! Smiley: clap

FYI: Watch out for that self appointed "creativity troll"
#5 May 05 2004 at 10:52 AM Rating: Good
Crazy, you make me proud. ^^

Keep 'em comming as the inspiration backhands you like Michael Jackson at Chucky Cheeses'

^^ Rate up.
#6 May 05 2004 at 11:15 AM Rating: Good
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972 posts
The Randomn00bs and Randomleets are just too hilarious. I started laughing as soon as I read: "STFU n00b!!!"
#7 May 08 2004 at 3:54 AM Rating: Decent
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294 posts
Adding links to all current volumes of craziness. Also, a shameless bump. I think a lot of people missed this the first time through. Lots of inane crap pushed it off the front page pretty fast.

Crazy's crazy realm of crazy craziness:
Volume 1
Volume 2
Volume 3

Can't forget the imitation thread that started a whole 1-day flood of imitation imitations...
How to win DRGs and influence people (blatant ripoff)
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