You can always by-pass the patcher... but honestly.. re-read your post a couple times, take a few really, really deep breaths and think about it. You sound pathetic (no offense, but honestly.. I don't even know you and I'm already concerned for your safety/sanity). You can live without playing for a couple of days, even weeks or month or even years (/gasp), really, I promise. You should try it some time...